From Now to Forever Ben & Monica Part 3
by jeff4bigred
Summary: My vision for the future of Ben and Monica. Set nearly three years into the future. Ben and Monica have gone through everything that has happened on the show and my previous fanfics
1. Life Without Miss Young

**Ch 1: Life without Miss Young**

"Okay class, Lord of the Rings, the relationship of Sam and Frodo, what is Tolkien trying to convey to us?" Miss Young's voice carried over her English class as she held the thick book in her left hand.

"Depth of friendship, they are what keeps each other going throughout the quest," Sue answered.

"Ben, what do you think?" Miss Young's green eyes found and locked Ben's brown ones. She wandered over and stood directly in front of his desk, draping her brunette hair behind her ear with her free hand. Ben tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his desk to indicate he was thinking.

Neither of them ever averted their gaze. "Sam and Frodo are like: it's like there are certain special people in your life. When you're lucky enough to know them, they raise you up, make you more than you ever wanted to or thought you could be. That's what this relationship is to me." Miss Young stood motionless, processing Ben's answer. She allowed herself the barest hint of a smile; he'd said "this relationship" on purpose.

"See I think circumstances are more what's dictating Sam and Frodo's relationship. It's the intensity of the experience they're going through." Ally O'keefe interjected in her nasally tone.

"It's not the intensity of the experience, it's the character, the very fiber of two beings: two people," Ben yelled back.

Miss Young covered her mouth with her free hand to hide her blushing cheeks and growing smile. "Ben is that really what you believe?" She still hadn't moved off from in front of him.

"Yes," Ben answered emphatically, resting his elbows on his desk and leaning closer to Miss Young.

"I think most people would disagree with you. Psychology has proven over and over again that that Ally is probably right. When people are placed in extreme circumstances their character changes. In other words the circumstance wins, not the person, or people in this case." Miss Young's green eyes were soft and playful: she wanted to keep the dance going.

"Not for these two." Ben pointed his index finger toward Monica and pointed his thumb toward himself.

"Well we'll just see if Frodo gets consumed by the power of the ring or not." Monica moved back to the front of the classroom and leaned against her desk.

"He'll be consumed alright, but only because he wants to be." Ben let loose a coy smile. The class had long since picked up what was going on, turning their heads back and forth in unison as each spoke. Ally and Sue were both biting their lips to repress laughter at the verbal foreplay.

Suddenly the bell rang and the entire scene changed, it was like the bell had magical powers behind it. Now Ben was alone in English class and Miss Young was seated at her desk. Ben rose from his chair and advanced toward her. As he approached she turned her head and gave him that beaming smile. "We've got to stop doing that," Ben said as he rested his hands on her desk.

"Why it's fun isn't it?" She rose from her chair and leaned closer to Ben.

"Yes it is, but we're not fooling anybody." Ben smiled brightly, smelling her perfume.

"Yes we are, we're fooling ourselves Ben. That's what makes it so damn sexy." Monica wet her lips with her tongue as she said'sexy'. They leaned in to kiss one another, but then Monica vaporized in a wisp of cloud. Ben looked around: the classroom was completely empty. That's when Ben Conner awoke sweating in his bed. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head trying to clear it. These dreams were getting more and more frequent.

Ben hadn't slept anymore that night and he was yawning furiously as he walked to his car the next morning. He was eighteen now and it was another month before he'd start college at the University of Washington. The car was a black two door SAAB his parents had bought for him on his seventeenth birthday. He started the SAAB and drove to the radio station where his dad had gotten him a job as an intern. Mostly Ben's job was mundane, distributing mail sent to the station, dusting equipment and mixing boards. Occasionally though he got to help out the tech guys with sound or microphone problems. It wasn't what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, but there were lots of worse places to be working. Dino and Jonathan were both still working fast food counters at the mall. That thought at least made Ben feel somewhat better. However, today the prospect of a full eight-hour day displeased him greatly, with what little sleep he'd had. He made it through the same way he always had in recent weeks. Applying lots of Mountain Dew to fight off the fatigue, and burying himself in work so as not to think about the dreams he'd been having.

Ben came home from work that night and parked his car in the driveway. In an odd moment he looked at his rearview mirror, the blue and white tassel from his high school graduation hung on it. Ben shook his head, he was maybe two months out of high school and yet somehow his memories all seemed so distant. It had been over two years since Monica Young had left for Denver. Miss Young, Sue, and even a couple of other girls now wandered through his mind without point. Ben's memories of high school were like photos from a vacation he'd never really taken. Except there he was in the photos. Once again Ben shook his head to clear this depressing nonsense. He went inside to greet his parents.

Ben's mother had made his favorite dish for dinner, Fettuccini Alfredo. Ben picked at it but he didn't really eat it. His depression had come on slowly, lately however it was really worrying his parents. "How are the chess lessons going?" Ben's father Roland tried to start a conversation: forgetting what chess truly reminded Ben of.

Ben drew a heavy breath, "I'm learning a lot, but Susan is classically trained, and she's absolute bitch mean."

"Benjamin Conner!" His mother scolded. Susan was Susan Polgar: eldest of three Polish sisters who were all grandmasters. At his father's behest Ben had begun taking chess lessons from her about a year after Monica left. Roland had seen his son's growing depression and wanted him to have something to pour himself into. Ben had always seemed to have natural talent for chess his father thought. Ever since I taught him the moves at the age of five. So when Roland read the newspaper article stating that the famous Miss Polgar was going to be living in Seattle he'd immediately contacted the Seattle Chess Club. Ben's father wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of forcing his son to become competitive at the game, but it was the only solution he could think of. Ben was made to demonstrate his prowess many times over before Susan would even agree to meet him. However Ben was successful in gaining her attention and she'd agreed to teach him.

"The reason I bring it up son is this." Roland slid a laminated three by five placard across the small dining table. Ben picked it up: it was ticket, a pass actually. The writing read, August 6, 2007 GM and World Champion Garry Kasparov Checkmates the United States. Ben's brown eyes grew into disks, the very last words on the placard read: player pass. Ben's parents let their joy overcome them as they watched their son process the news. "That came in the mail this afternoon, Susan wants you to go and play. It's all arranged, the chess club is even going to pay your travel expenses. You'll get to stay in New York overnight and play an exhibition game against the most famous player in history." Ben's parents were practically glowing as his father elaborated.

Ben sat silently for several moments, but then he just set the pass to one side and returned to picking at his food. Ben's parents looked at each other, 'we thought he'd be thrilled by this.' Ben excused himself and slowly stomped his way up the steps to his room to try and sleep. "He's getting worse, we've got to do something," Amanda stated the obvious.

Roland picked up the pass then went upstairs and knocked on Ben's door. "Come in if you must," Ben answered tiredly.

"Son, are you holding up okay? Your mother and I thought you'd be thrilled about this." Ben's father shook the pass between his thumb and index finger. "Only fifty people in the entire country are getting to do this, don't you want to?"

"It's not that dad, I enjoy chess, it's just everything seems like, well like work somehow. Ever since…" Ben's voice trailed off.

"Every since what," his dad continued to pry.

Tears formed in the corner of Ben's eyes. "Ever since Miss Young left I feel like I've been living my life in survival mode. Everything is hard work, nothing is fun, and I find myself constantly trying to just grind through things."

"That doesn't sound like a happy way to live. Maybe the affair with Miss Young did more damage than you or I thought." Ben's father took a seat on the bed and rubbed his son's shoulder.

"What I didn't tell you about that was," Ben paused. "You said I could come to you about this right? We made love dad. Not lust, not sex, we actually made love." Ben sniffled and wiped his nose with a hanky but it felt good to say what was bothering him.

"Oh," Roland exhaled as though his chest had just taken a bullet. "Wha, when did this happen?"

"New Years Day, nearly three years ago. I didn't sleep over at Jonathan's. I bought flowers and candles and I spent the night with her. Don't be mad I wanted to do it at the time." Ben was fully crying again.

"Okay son I'm calm, just let me see if I can get my head around this."

"The whole relationship was a stupid idea for both of us. Still she wanted me, and I wanted her just as much. But now with everything that's happened I feel like some piece of me went with her. I mean I freaked after Miss Young and I made love and I tried to break it off with her again. Sue sees us fighting and tells her dad. But Miss Young has remained somewhere in my mind and heart all this time " Ben buried his head in his soaked pillow. Ben's father rubbed his son's back.

"Now you see why you have to be so careful about sex Ben. Look a lot of this is our fault, your mom's and mine, the subject terrified us and we never talked to you like we should have.

"Never mind that, just how do I stop hurting," Ben pleaded?

"If I had the answer to that son you wouldn't be. I'm not going to lie to you this is a serious problem. Remember how we thought you were on drugs? Well you were, sex is a drug, that's how god designed it. See I believe god gave us sex to sort of put us in an altered state of reality. Your mother and I have been married thirty-one years. Imagine how long a time that is to get on each other's nerves. Sex is meant to round out those rough edges and make the attachment much more manageable. When you use the drug incorrectly though, what results is a depth of pain human beings aren't really supposed to feel." Ben's father sighed heavily after the speech.

"This is a lecture it's not helping." Ben's voice was muffled by the pillow.

" There are no easy answers son, the reason you feel like part of you left is because it did. I'll leave you alone for a while, compose yourself and then we'll talk some more." Ben's father left the room. He went and found Amanda sitting on the bed reading. Ben's father perched beside her and began to think. "Is he alright," Amanda asked putting the book aside?

"Well he obviously never resolved his feelings for Miss Young." Roland held his head in his hand and rubbed his temples.

"I knew we shouldn't have let that, that woman get away with what she did." Ben's father chuckled slightly, wondering what word 'woman' had taken the place of.

"Oh involving the police would have helped immensely I'm sure." The sarcastic comment drew crossed arms and a rueful stare for Amanda. She rose and left the bedroom moments later, huffing and puffing like a steam engine. In that moment Ben's father did something he'd never done before. Roland closed the bedroom door and locked it. He didn't want Amanda to find out what he was about to do. "Directory information, what city please," an operator asked?

"Denver, do you have phone listing for a Monica Young?" Roland exhaled as he watched

the bedroom door.


	2. Violating the Principles

Ch 2: Violating the Principles 

Ben's father hastily wrote down the nine digits the operator gave him. He stared intently at the paper for a moment before folding it and putting it in his shirt pocket. Roland left the bedroom and went into the den, the music room as Ben called it. He took a seat at the drafting table and picked up the telephone receiver. He immediately set it back down again. Roland wasn't at all sure if his idea was a good one. He looked at his watch: 8:38PM. If he was going to do this it had to be now. Just then he noticed the marble chess table. Roland rested his arms on the drafting board and went deep into thought, eyes still glancing at the chessboard. 'Susan tells my son all the time that chess is like life. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes in chess you have to make a move that violates all the principles of common sense. I really hope chess is like life.' Roland picked up the telephone again.

"Hello, hello is anyone there?" A soft female voice answered the phone. Roland hadn't realized until this moment how hard this was going to be for him. Hearing that voice brought back his own memories. He didn't speak, his mind conjuring an image of the short, pony tailed brunette sitting across from his son at the chessboard. His thoughts were ultimately interrupted by a dial tone: she'd hung up. Roland closed his eyes, his stomach felt like it was about the size of dime: he dialed again. "Hello." The voice was more stern and annoyed.

"Miss Young, Monica Young," Roland inquired quietly?

"Yes. Who is this?"

"My name is Roland, Roland Conner." He half expected her hand to come through the receiver and begin choking him.

"What can I do for you, Roland?" 'So she doesn't remember who I am'

"I'm Ben Conner's father." A thunderous silence followed.

"You're who," Monica wasn't ready to believe what she'd just heard.

"I'm Ben Conner's Father," Roland repeated.

"This is completely inappropriate, we have nothing to say to each other." Monica's voice went from friendly to livid.

"Look don't hang up, I'm not trying to make any trouble for you." His voice cracked, and his hands were shaking.

"Then what do you want?" One could cut steel with Monica's tone.

"My son, he's been depressed for sometime now, and he's getting worse. He thinks about you a lot obviously. Look realistically I don't like this idea anymore than you're going to. But I was thinking maybe you could talk to him." Roland closed his eyes as he got the request out. Another long ear splitting silence followed.

It was a bit much for Monica to digest. First off, it was in fact not obvious to her that Ben still thought about her. Secondly, Ben's father asking for her help: that ranks right up there with the warden asking an inmate to lock up. Most of all though she had to grapple with the news of Ben's depression. As much as she might want to, as much as she probably should, she couldn't just stop caring about him. "Put him on," Monica said waving a hand in reluctant surrender to Roland's request.

"Not exactly what I had in mind. Ben is going to New York at the end of the week to compete in a chess exhibition. The local chess club here is paying his way, what if I was to give you the plane ticket and accommodations meant for him. I'll pay the way for our family."

"You want me to fly to New York City and see Ben in person, so much so your willing to pay for it," Monica spoke slowly, her brain simply refusing to believe what was being asked.

"I want to help my son. Yes I'm probably crazy, but seeing you just might help. I'll tell you what I'll make the arrangements for you, use them, don't use them, whatever you think is best. Sorry to have taken your time"

"Goodbye," Monica said sarcastically to the dial tone.

Roland immediately began to understand why Ben couldn't let Miss Young go. He remembered what she looked like and that was certainly a large part of it, but there was also that voice of hers. It could go from sweet enough to seduce Elton John to hard enough to qualify as tank armor in a heartbeat. He'd seen that just how it could swing during the conversation. 'I'm old enough to be her father and she intimidated me just now.'


	3. New York, New York

Ch3: New York, New York 

The famed Marshall Chess Club is located along 10th Avenue only blocks north of Washington Square Park. However, August in New York means one thing, heat, heat, and more heat. The mid morning sun beamed down and baked the Conners as they walked through the park on there way north to toward the club. Ben was now really starting to rethink his decision to put on his suit and tie back in the hotel room. "They look like vagrants," Amanda commented looking over at semicircular concrete benches and chessboards lining the south end of the park. The benches were full from one end to the other with players seated at the boards. There were rings of people two and three deep encircling each board and watching the games. Bets were being taken, sums of money large and small being laid on the rims of the boards and changing hands among the crowd. The entire mass seemed tattered, dirty, and as though they'd been there for days on end. The sound of pieces moving and chess clocks being punched made a rhythmic click, clack sound that could be heard above the din of people bustling to and fro.

"Mom I betcha if I had a chance to look I could find masters or international masters in that crowd. Chess doesn't offer much in the way of making money. So people hustle in this park. Some almost never leave: you could find a money game here at 3:00AM if you wanted to." Ben explained to his mother as he wiped his sweaty brow with a handkerchief. Ben was strolling slowly, finally looking like a man enjoying himself.

"I see that," Amanda replied ruefully. She and Roland walked arm in arm several feet behind Ben. "Nice to see him in good spirits for a change," Amanda whispered leaning her head against Roland's shoulder.

Roland regarded his wife and tried to force a smile. "I'm just tense honey, hoping Ben does well." That's at least a half-truth Roland thought to himself. He'd never tried to keep anything from his wife before. He began to wonder if he felt now like Ben felt sneaking around to see Miss Young.

The trio arrived at the stones steps to the Marshall about half an hour before the competition. Here Ben separated from his parents and hung the laminated pass around his neck. He advanced into the main playing hall, it reminded him of an old ballroom. The room was cavernous: probably about twice as long as wide, with dark Oak floorboards and a massive Walnut fireplace with hand carved detailing centered halfway down the length. Three banks of pale orange, yellow lights on antique brass fixtures lit the room. The place smelled old Ben thought: like dust and wood polish mingled with cigarette smoke.

The room wasn't crowded; in fact it was nearly vacant. Between the other forty-nine players, tournament officials, and arbiters there was maybe seventy-five people in the playing hall. The room was made to hold at least four times that amount. Ben walked over to a small card table set up near the entrance and displayed his pass to the two officials seated there. "Conner, Conner Benjamin: Seattle Washington." The officials found his name. "Chair nine son, good luck today," they said cheerfully in unison.

Ben mouthed thank you to the officials and turned his attention to the center of the room. Three long banquet tables were placed together in a "U" shape and covered by drab white tablecloths. Lining the outside edge of the tables were fifty burgundy colored, well worn leather chairs. In front of each chair were simple Ebony and Boxwood chessboards. Ben found his seat and looked over his board: cringing because he saw that he'd drawn the black pieces. This would mean Kasparov would get to move first against him. The pieces themselves were five-inch wood Stauntons: the white side was Cherry, the black side Maple. The pieces seemed to provide the only color in this huge room of black, white, and gray.

To Ben's parents and others it didn't seem like a sporting event. The Marshall Chess Club is open to the public; there were no ticket takers, food vendors, or turnstiles to pass through. Only a few ushers denoted by blue armbands controlled the traffic. It was chess so there was no cheering, roaring crowd: only a profound and incredibly tense silence. A small concourse looped around the main hall and there were numerous small anterooms along the outside of the concourse. Parents and spectators were directed to three of these rooms, which had rows of folding chairs set up. Along one wall of each room was projector screen that displayed a picture of the playing hall. Roland and Amanda found seats and were taken back to their own youth, realizing they'd be watching Ben on black and white television. Roland was particularly disappointed because there was only one camera, set at the open end of the "U". He could make out where Ben sat, but it would be impossible to see his board or the moves he made.

At 12:30PM proceedings started. Ben looked around at the other players, it was a nerdish bunch. He was the only one not wearing glasses, and he also guessed that he was the oldest of the fifty. The MC for the event was New York born International Master Josh Waitzkin. A twenty-six year old man who stood only 5'7" with short curly black hair, and a scruffy beard. Josh stood in the center of the "U" and his clear and authoritative voice began the exhibition. "Welcome to the Marshall Chess Club for Garry Kasparov Checkmates the United States. We've got fifty outstanding young players here ready to test themselves against the best. There are no formal time controls for this exhibition. Mr. Kasparov will move from one board to the next starting at board one. Alright let's meet the players."

One by one the fifty were introduced and stood up. "Player nine: Benjamin Conner, age eighteen, playing out of Seattle, Washington, current USCF rating is 1935." Josh waved his introduction card toward a standing Ben Conner. After the players were introduced it was time for the champion to make his entrance. "Introducing Grand Master, World Champion, and the highest rated chess player every in history. He is the only human player ever to achieve a rating above 2800. Currently ranked second in the world with a FIDE and USCF chess rating of 2795, Garry Kasparov!"

The Armenian made his way through the concourse and into the playing hall. He was an imposing man: 6'2" with a slight but muscular build, short curly salt and pepper hair, and teal eyes with a raging thunderstorm behind them. The hall went dead silent, tock, Garry moved a pawn on board one: it begins.

For Kasparov it was an athletic event. He ran around the inside of the "u" from one board to the next, and when he made a move he slammed the piece down. When he came in front of Ben, Kasparov moved the "d" pawn (the pawn in front of the queen) out two squares. It took less than three minutes for Kasparov to reappear in front of Ben. The youngest Conner was so transfixed by Kasparov's intensity he forgot to make a move. "Move, move," Kasparov shouted knocking on the table with his right hand. Shocked into action Ben moved his kingside knight in front of his kingside bishop and pawn (Nf6 in chess notation).

Play proceeded quickly, in the anteroom Roland and several other spectators had long since stood up and started pacing. The only clue he had to how his son was fairing was the fact that Kasparov was taking almost no time at any one board. Only minutes passed before the first few of the wooden wars ended. First one, then three, and then six players toppled their kings and shook the champion's hand, Kasparov had beaten them. Ben Conner was not among the victims he was still playing. Roland was biting his nails and trying to discern what was happening from his son's body language. On the screen the black and white Ben held the top of his head in his hands, elbows resting on the table. Roland's attention turned away from Ben when, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a late arriving spectator.

He'd only seen her briefly, but Roland knew it was Miss Young. He excused himself from Amanda and ducked outside the room. Miss Young turned to see Roland approaching behind her. "So you decided to come." Roland tried to be gracious and shake her hand.

She wouldn't take it: "For the record, this is a bad idea. But I care for Ben and I can't just turn that off." It was the intimidating Miss Young. She turned around and followed Roland back into the anteroom. Amanda immediately noticed and rose from her seat to join her husband. "Mrs. Connor I…" Miss Young tried to speak to Ben's mother.

"Excuse us a moment." Amanda interrupted through her teeth. She grabbed her husband by the ear and dog walked him outside the building. "Exactly what is going on here, that is the, the creature that harmed our son."

"I think Ben would disagree with you about that. He doesn't feel damaged or harmed, just unresolved. I know it's not logical but I think it might help." Roland looked at the ground.

"Not logical, right at this moment I'm wondering what my ex-husband is going to do for the rest of his life, in a New York insane asylum," Amanda screamed in Roland's ear. He tried to interject but was cut off. "So that's where Ben's plane ticket and hotel room went: to, to, to her. You told me you gave them to Ben's brother." She wagged an accusing finger in Roland's face and her whole body shook with rage. "You know what forget the asylum, enjoy the rest of your life Roland Conner, all two minutes of it."

After the lecture was over the pair went back inside the anteroom. Miss Young was standing at the back of the room her eyes locked on black and white television Ben. He wasn't hard to spot, by now over an hour had passed and there were only ten players left. "So how's he doing?" Roland like a lot of men wasn't able to help himself. Amanda threw her hands in the air and walked away in disgust, Miss Young whipped her head around and gave Roland a cross glance. 'Sports, they just consume men.'

"Well, he's still playing." Miss Young held her hands in front of her palms toward the screen and shook her head: there's nothing else anyone can get out of that crummy picture. Miss Young was wrong. Roland noticed almost immediately that Kasparov had slowed down considerably. When he came in front of Ben's board again Roland looked at his watch. Kasparov stood in front of Ben for a full four minutes before moving. Ben actually had him thinking, hard!

One by one the players continued to dwindle: five, three, two. With only two players remaining Kasparov had to allow the players the same fair opportunity to think that the rules granted him. So there was no running now, no demands of an immediate response from the players. He would make a move and then go chat with Josh while they thought. The camera wasn't picking up what the masters were saying, but clear as day Kasparov pointed a thumb over his shoulder toward Ben. "Oh my god, Ben, they're talking about Ben." Roland realized out loud. He frantically looked around for Amanda. What happen next nearly made Roland pass out.

The second to last player toppled his king, Ben was the only one left. On the black and white screen Kasparov made a move and extended his hand toward Ben. The youngest Conner rose from his seat and accepted the handshake. "What's happening?" Amanda asked her husband and her mortal enemy.

Roland batted his eyes at the screen, "A draw, Kasparov just offered Ben a draw!"

As if on queue one of the tournament officials announced, "draw agreed." So it ended, two hours and twenty-four minutes after it had begun. The spectators were held in the anterooms until Kasparov had a chance to leave the hall, then they were allowed in. A small sea of handshakes and well wishes suddenly beset Ben Conner. He stood on tiptoes looking for his parents. They had only to look in the center of the crowd to find him. Ben sort half hugged, half collapsed into his parents waiting arms. He was mentally and physically exhausted. The crowd eventually thinned, both Garry Kasparov and Josh Waitzkin returned and shook hands with Ben's family. When it was finally all over, Roland pulled Ben aside. "I ahh, invited someone here to New York to see you Ben. Outside on the front steps." Roland nodded toward the entrance. Ben was suddenly energized, thinking it was his brother waiting outside. He ran out of the building.

One of Monica Young's favorite movies is _The Wizard of Oz_. She thought of that as Ben hurriedly appeared on the front steps of the Marshall. Her first images of him in nearly three years had come from that black and white projection screen. Suddenly, pop, Ben was in color, just like the movie. He'd grown taller, and filled out like he'd wanted. He also looked devastatingly handsome dressed up, black suit coat and trousers, white dress shirt, and bright red tie all caught in the warm afternoon breeze. Ben didn't immediately see her because he wasn't looking for her. The sound her heels made as she ascended the steps is what drew his attention. Ben froze as though he'd seen a ghost. Monica wore a dark blue and grey pinstripe business suit with knee length skirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and Ben noticed she had a Colorado Buffalos stickpin in the collar midway down the neckline. She hadn't changed in his eyes: flowing brunette hair, those pink, full, eminently kissable lips, and those two emeralds she called eyes. Monica took a drag from her cigarette and stood next to Ben, careful not let their eyes meet. Ben shoved his hands in his pockets and studied her. "So you're not a secret smoker anymore," he broke the ice.

Her eyes darted right and left searching for something besides Ben to focus on. "Ben that was great, what you just did in there." Monica tried to change the subject. The things both really wanted to talk about were too hard.

"I couldn't tell you how I did it, I just did." Ben was trying to breath through his mouth so he wouldn't smell her perfume. "What are you doing here, and for that matter how did you get here? I assumed you were still in Denver."

"Not Denver anymore, I'm an English teaching assistant at UC Boulder. Working on my masters degree there." Monica nodded approvingly as she laid out her life since Seattle.

She's still awfully proud of herself, Ben thought.

"I start college at the end of this month. Still don't know what I want to major in though." Ben felt the need to defend his own future. "You never answered the second part of my question, how'd you get here?"

"Your dad invited me, he gave me the plane ticket and money the chess club meant for you."

"He told me he offered those to my brother" Ben remembered. "It's hard to believe he gave them to you, but here you are." Ben held his palms out to Monica. She stepped away, not wanting to touch him.

"Your father loves you Ben. Embrace that, my mom and I have been ten thousand miles apart in the same room. Where I have a parent, you have a dad. He only wants to see you happy." This was the voice of teacher Monica, even toned, with just a hint of self-centeredness and superiority.

"Then why'd he bring you here?" Ben closed his eyes and cocked his head toward the sky. The phrase had slipped out before he had a chance to stop it. "I didn't mean that," he said to the sun.

Monica took a moment to repress the wave of anger that washed through her. "He asked me to come because you still have some unresolved issues with me. Not that I blame you." Miss Young's turn to regret what she said. She just wasn't always able to check her playful side. Ben eyes went from the sky to the steps; this conversation was going nowhere as long as they kept dancing around the real issues.

"Ben the only thing I can do is tell you to is to move on. You've got your whole life in front of you. Your young and so handsome." Unable to help herself Monica stepped back toward Ben and ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't get hung up on something that should never have happened in the first place. You deserve better than that. So live your life and find a way to be happy Ben Conner and I will too." Her last lecture to Ben given, Monica's heels clicked down the steps and she disappeared. From the entrance of the Marshall above them Amanda had watched the exchange with Roland hanging on to her shoulders to keep her from intervening.

"I can't, part of what I need to be happy keeps disappearing," Ben whispered to thin air.


	4. Back To Your Corners

Ch 4: Back to Your Corners 

The return flight to Seattle didn't leave New York until after nine in the evening. Ben and both his parents tried to sleep on the plane. Seeing Monica again hadn't helped like his father hoped it would. It only served to remind Ben of how much he still felt for her and the great distance he was from where he wanted to be. Both the physical distance between Seattle and Boulder, and the emotional distance created by their past together. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop wanting her, Ben thought to himself, a single tear running down his cheek. Roland awoke just in time to see the tear. He looked down at the table tray over Ben's legs, the laminated pass lay on it, autographed in black marker by both Garry Kasparov and Josh Waitzkin. Ben had just accomplished something in life very few people ever do. If only for a single day, for a single moment, he'd proven himself the equal of the best in the world. It was something he should yearn to tell his kids about in later life. Yet he didn't care, Ben Conner was still miserably sad.

The next morning Ben made the papers. An Associated Press photograph of the moment he shook Kasparov's hand accepting the draw adorned the first page of the Seattle Times local section. Jonathan and Dino came over to see Ben; he was still lying in his bed. "Congratulations on fully becoming a nerd," Dino teased as he appeared.

"No I think we've pretty much got the head nerd here," Jonathan continued.

"Enough guys, enough." Ben managed a slight smile. "By the way have any luck yet cracking the ice queen yet." Ben knew that would hit Dino where it hurt.

"Jacks is still frozen as ever," Jonathan assured Ben.

"How would both of you like to be up to your knees in floor," Dino threatened. "Besides you two should really talk. Jonathan you managed to piss both Debs and Sabrina right out of your life and you haven't had a sniff since. Ben you managed to send away the best looking piece of ass ever and replace her with preppy Sue, whose dad hated you."

The teasing had gotten too personal. Ben's hand balled into a fist, he lunged off his bed swinging wildly for Dino's jaw. Dino slipped the wild hook and plunged his shoulder into Ben's midsection tackling him onto the bed. Jonathan tried to separate them but Dino was much too strong. He threw Jon aside and pinned Ben by straddling his chest all at the same time. Dino cocked his own fist backward before coming to his senses. "No, we don't want to do this," Dino got up and allowed Ben off the bed.

Downstairs Amanda was doing laundry when she discovered a reminder of her husband's recent transgression. He'd left the piece of paper with Monica's phone number in his shirt pocket. She took it out and crumpled it in disgust. At that moment she heard a tremendous crash come from Ben's bedroom. She arrived upstairs just in time to see Jonathan thrown against the wall and Dino raising his fist.

"What just got into us?" Jonathan asked, his breathing starting to slow after Dino backed down.

"Yeah look at what losers we've become," Dino continued the thought.

"Sorry about that guys," Ben chimed in also.

"Okay Jonathan, Dino, you two out right now. I need to talk to my son." Amanda intervened.

Monica's plane had arrived back in Denver long before the Conner's in Seattle. She sat in her small campus apartment staring at her laptop. She was playing chess on Yahoo. On the cyberspace board her screen name: Wet Hot Fire Starting Queen was pitted against another, jeff4bigred. On the board she was losing badly. It was the price she paid for not being more careful in selecting an opponent. Monica's computer told her that Wet Hot Fire Starting Queen had a very respectable rating of 1705. However, jeff4bigred carried a rating of 2065, a fact she'd neglected to notice before playing. He seemed pleasant enough though, even chatty through the IM box. That is until she told him she was living in Colorado. To which he replied that being a loyal Nebraska fan meant now he was officially obligated to hate her. The chess game was a wonderful distraction from the events of the previous day. She still had unresolved feelings for Ben too, and seeing him had made her realize that geographic distance might be her only saving grace. The only thing that allowed her to put the relationship aside. These thoughts and the chess game were interrupted by a phone call.

Ben was still breathing hard from the excitement of the fight when his mother came and sat on his bed. She patted for him to join her. "What was that all about?" She tried to start the conversation gently.

"We were teasing one another and it got out of hand, I'm sorry," Ben replied sincerely.

"That's happened a lot lately don't you think? Things getting out of hand."

"Too much," Ben nodded agreement.

Amanda took a deep breath "That woman, Monica, I would've never believed it until yesterday, but the feelings you two have are very genuine."

"Yes." Ben closed his eyes, whether in relief or torment Amanda couldn't tell.

"I don't believe I'm about to do this, here." Amanda handed Ben a crumpled piece of paper.

"What's this," he asked quizzically staring at the offering.

"Just open it," Amanda nodded her approval. Ben unfolded the paper to see it was a phone number written in his dad's handwriting.

"It's Monica's phone number." Amanda turned and left the room.

It took Ben some time to work up the courage to dial the ten digits. "Hello," Monica answered grabbing her cordless and sitting back in her folding chair.

"Miss Young, ah Monica, it's Ben." She'd known who he was from the moment he'd said Miss.

"Ben why are you calling me, torturing both of us like this?" Her voice turned into jealous intimidating Monica.

"Because I don't think we really talked about what we wanted to yesterday," The softness of Ben's voice pleaded with her to listen.

Monica closed her eyes, pain shot through her stomach, she didn't want to listen. "Ben yesterday I realized something, something I think part of me has known for a long time. Maybe every since we first met. You don't need me. What you were able to do yesterday, do you know how few people are capable of that, I'm not. You and the board and the pieces are this perfectly beautiful thing. You'll get along just fine, you don't need me. Goodbye Ben". Monica Young dropped the phone, her hand and body shaking. She collapsed forward onto her desk, hair spreading like a fan. The lie sapped every ounce of strength out of her. She started sobbing loudly.


	5. In The Other Team's Huddle

**Ch5: In The Other Team's Huddle**

Ben held the phone in his hand staring at it endlessly. He wasn't able to make himself move or speak; his body trembled with fear and sadness. It might really be over for them.

Monica had dropped her cordless but she hadn't ended the call. The line stayed open and Ben could her crying on the other end. Suddenly he realized it was like he had a bug in Miss Young's apartment thirteen hundred miles away. Shortly after she started crying there was knock at Monica's door. "Are you okay neighbor," the voice asked through the door? Ben put his phone back to his ear and listened intently.

"Jane, come in it's open." Monica was trying desperately to get control of herself.

"What's the problem hun?" Jane's voice was gravelly and surprisingly deep for a woman.

"Just got a call from an old boyfriend." Miss Young was still crying.

"Not the boyfriend. The guy from Washington. The one you flew out of town to see."

"One and the same," Monica replied.

"Alright who is this guy? You've mentioned him to me about forty-five thousand times now, but you've never told me anything about him. Who in the world is so special that they can reduce a beautiful woman like you to this?"

"He's the love of my life. Every since we met I, I can't remember a time I didn't love him. Seeing him yesterday brought it all back." From Monica's muffled tone Ben guessed she was crying on Jane's shoulder.

"Then what happened yesterday and today? He's not ready to return your love?" Ben was starting to think Jane was a pretty good counselor.

"I told him to go away and live his own life."

"Why would you tell him that, it's obviously not what you want?" They were moving farther from the cordless. Ben cranked the volume on his phone as high as it would go trying to hear.

"Its not so simple, he, he's younger than me. Jane you wouldn't believe how much we connect, the intimacy we share. But he's just not ready to handle it. So I lied, flat out lied and told him to go on without me." Teacher Miss was slowly gaining control again.

"So you think he wants you, or wants you back, but he's not ready? Do you think he'll ever be ready?"

A long pause came before the answer, "I don't know, my head was so filled with the drama of our past. He's grown since I last saw him, physically at least. I guess I didn't really give him a chance to say how he felt." Monica went into a slight panic, realizing she'd just dropped the smallest hint about Ben's age.

"Look I'm not telling you what to do, but if it were me, I'd want to give him a chance. Men in my experience rarely grow up. However, living with all these intense feelings, you can't keep this up can you? Call him back, or drive up to Washington and see him. Your free until the fall semester starts, right?" Thirteen hundred miles apart Ben and Monica let out simultaneous sighs. Jane hadn't picked up on Monica's slip of the tongue.

"My car would never make it." Monica laughed; it was the first time in a very long time Ben got to hear her laugh.

"So call him," Jane repeated.

"But, but, we've tried to make this work before and we couldn't. Aren't I just setting myself up again?" On the other end of the phone Monica braced herself, not wanting to hear Jane's answer.

"Possibly, but which is worse resolved or unresolved? Anyways you might find that he's grown up and changed some. Like I said, it isn't likely but it's possible." Jane was definitely a good counselor Ben thought.

"And if he hasn't," Monica asked somewhat rhetorically?

"Then at least you'll know you did everything you could. If it still doesn't work then you'll be grieving something that is well and truly gone. Maybe then at least some of this misery would be well spent." Jane extended her arms and hugged Monica before picking up the cordless and handing it to her. "Call him back," she reassured and left the room. Miss Young set the phone down on the bed beside her; she needed to work up some courage. She decided to raid her refrigerator. 'A couple of beers should do the trick.' She returned to her bedroom sometime later to find her cordless phone had a dead battery.

Thousands of miles apart, Ben and Monica were both in the same place at the same time. The trouble was neither one knew it. Ben eventually got a dial tone after Miss Young's phone battery went dead. He threw himself on his bed and began sifting through the conversation he'd just overheard. For the first time in months he smiled a real smile. 'It makes things so easy when you can be in the other team's huddle and hear the play call.'

Monica Young threw herself onto her bed as well. She grabbed a pen and paper, deciding to write down what she wanted to say. Since her cordless was completely dead it would take eight to twelve hours to charge up fully. She concluded she wasn't going to be able to call Ben until tomorrow. 'You call yourself an English Teacher Monica Young, time to prove it. Write the words that will make you and Ben last forever.' Miss Young spent all night sitting up in her bed, tapping her pen against the tablet. She never wrote a single sentence.


	6. Change Of Plan

**Ch6: Change Of Plan**

Ben lay in his bed; his bedroom light was turned out. As the setting sun passed below the horizon darkness enshrouded him more and more. Ben didn't notice, he was far too lost in his thoughts. The conversation he'd overheard had told him several things. However one piece had really burned into his mind: If it still doesn't work then you'll be grieving something that is well and truly gone. Maybe then at least some of this misery would be well spent. For some reason those words popped everything into place for Ben. He realized that nothing was well and truly gone. Ben began to make a mental checklist. The feelings Monica and I have: certainly those aren't gone. Monica and I aren't gone: last time I checked we were both still breathing. Circumstances? Circumstances change, they're never really gone, Ben thought to himself. "Circumstances change, they're never really gone." Ben repeated out loud.

When Ben Conner was very young he liked to play with magnets, or so his dad had told him. Roland would purposely turn the magnets so they would repel each other. Then he would watch as his son tried endlessly to push them together. Until one day Ben figured out that all he had to do was flip them over. This night was turning out to be a night just like that. Circumstances change, they're never really gone. The thought consumed his brain as he went to his desk and flipped on his computer.

"Ben supper is on the table," Amanda shouted up at him from the kitchen. Ben thundered down the stairs to the dinner table. "Lemon Pepper Chicken," she announced as this was the first time Ben had come out of his room since being handed the phone number.

Ben attacked his meal with zeal his parents had never seen before. 'That's got to mean something good.' Roland and Amanda communicated to one another through a glance. "So did you call Miss Young," Amanda asked? Roland dropped his fork when he heard the question and whipped his head around toward his wife. It hit the floor with a loud metallic clank. Ben ignored both of them and continued ravaging his food.

"Son, BEN," Roland raised his voice trying to get his son's attention.

"Yes," Ben snapped back from wherever he was and raised his eyes to meet those of his parents.

Roland and Amanda studied their son for some time before trying again to start conversation. "You okay son, you ah, have a very determined look on your face," Roland finally asked?

Ben eyes darted back and fourth between his parents, his mind pondering his next statement. "Mom, Dad, I know I'm all set up and enrolled at UW, but I was thinking about Denver University.

"Thinking about it: as in intending to go there instead?" Roland set his fork down and held his head in his hand. Bracing for his son's answer.

"So you can be close to Miss Young again," Amanda continued?

"Yeah, I decided today that's what I want to do."

Both parents drew heavy breaths before discussion continued. "Tell us about this college," Amanda ordered, waving her hand in an 'I give up' gesture.

"Small private college, around 4500 students. Full range of majors and degree programs. Very good academic reputation. The problem is it'll be out of state tuition which makes it expensive with a capital e." Ben was remarkably calm relaying such life changing news.

"How expensive," Roland was still bracing?

"North of thirty-five thousand a year." Ben felt guilty as he said it. Roland and Amanda took a moment to get over the sticker shock.

"Okay let's look at this a minute. Even with the scholarship you got from the chess club and the money we have set aside for you, there is no where near enough to cover that. You're not likely to qualify for any kind of financial aid either. Your mother and I make too much. So that would leave a job and student loans to cover the rest of the expense." Roland's tone was clearly meant to scare Ben out of the decision.

"Son of course if this is what you really want, we'll support you," Amanda shocked everyone. Roland now leaned on the dining table and placed his hand under his chin. He was sure it was the only thing keeping his jaw attached at the moment.

"Wait, wait slow down here Amanda. This is one hell of a sacrifice for an eighteen-year-old kid to make for a girl. Excuse me a woman." Roland Conner was now talking with his hands as he paced circles around the dining table.

Amanda measured her next words carefully. "Roland he's our son, but we can't keep him forever. What I saw on those steps in New York was real, much as I still hate admitting it. It's not like he doesn't want to attend college, he just wants to leave Washington. Besides I think he's pretty serious about doing this, whether we help him or not." Amanda nodded toward Ben as she finished her speech.

"I can't believe you of all people are supporting this. You who wanted to have Miss Young strung up by her toenails, have her drawn and quartered, and then have the pieces arrested." Roland finally lost his cool.

"Look dad mom's right, I'm going to do this, with or without you. It would be easier with though." Ben yelled but then decided to back off a little.

"Alright let's everyone just calm down here. We don't have to settle this tonight. Amanda, Ben we've got three weeks until school starts. If this is a good idea now it'll be a good idea in the morning. Can we all just agree to sleep on it please?" Roland crossed his arms while Ben and Amanda nodded approval. "Remember I said, if, this is a good idea." Roland waved an index finger back and forth between his wife and son and left the kitchen. The three went their separate ways for the night. Ben was satisfied, the fight wasn't over, but at least his parents hadn't said no.


	7. The Leap of Faith

**Ch 7: The Leap of Faith**

Ben tossed and turned in his bed, for once it was excitement rather than depression keeping him awake. For the first time in months he felt he had a way, or at least a plan, to make himself happy again. Monica had been right in his Lord of the Rings dream. Circumstances do eventually win, if they can't be changed. What Ben had realized after overhearing the conversation in Monica's apartment was that the circumstances between them had already changed. Also the fact was that they could be forced to change further. That was the reason why Ben chose Denver instead of CU. He could force himself to get closer to Monica Young. Close enough to see her, and even date her again. After all he was eighteen now, and she wouldn't be his teacher anymore.

The next morning the Conners sat down to breakfast, Roland started round two. "Okay son your mother and I have talked about things. First off I don't think you realize how much trouble this is going to be. It's not as simple as applying for admission and getting in. We'd have to move you down there almost immediately, I don't even know if any student dorms are still available this late. You'd have to find a job fairly fast and we'd need to apply for student loans. I don't think all of this can be done in such short order."

Ben chuckled 'you're gonna have to do better than that dad.' "Denver has a revolving admissions policy. I submitted my application on line before dinner yesterday. I should know today or tomorrow about admission and housing. Assuming I get a dorm, moving will be easy because I'll recruit Dino and Jon as grunts. Student loans that's one trip to a bank. A job, well I'll worry about that when I get there. You're not going to scare me away from this dad."

"Ben did it ever occur to you that Miss Young might not work out. Supposing she doesn't want to see you, where would that leave you?" Roland tried changing tactics.

Ben considered his answer for several moments. "There's still feelings there, lots of them for both of us. All I can say is that I've got to try. The happiest moments of my life have happened with her. So have some of the hardest, but most of that has been caused by circumstance. I'm hoping circumstances have changed enough that we can make it work."

"We're not going to talk you out of this are we?" Amanda finally entered the conversation. Ben just made a face: 'do you really need me to answer that mom.' There was a long silence as Ben shifted his eyes back and forth between his parents. At last Roland rose, folded his arms and sighed his final surrender. Ben Conner would attend Denver University.

Ben went upstairs and grabbed a notebook and pen. He began making a list of everything he had to do when the phone rang. "Hello," Ben picked it up and continued writing.

"Ben, it's Monica, can we talk?" 'So she did decide to call.'

"Yes."

"I think you're right about the talks we've had the last two days. We haven't said what we mean." It was Monica the woman, voice seductive and inviting.

"Yeah I know." Ben was purposely keeping his answers short. Monica still didn't know he'd overheard the conversation with Jane, and Ben had decided he wanted to keep that advantage in his pocket until he could see her in person.

"I think both of us still have feelings for each other. Good ones and hard ones."

"Yep." 'Where is she going with this?' Ben's eyes squinted at the receiver.

"I guess what I want to know is can we ever forgive each other? Will there ever be a time when things aren't weird between us?" Monica rubbed her eyes; this wasn't what she wanted to say.

"I would think you could answer those questions better than I could. You've been through this more." Ben felt like a politician, trying to talk without saying anything.

"Oh so our chances are that good huh." Monica couldn't help but laugh.

"I'd forgotten how delightful that sound is," Ben smiled sinfully.

"How delightful what sound is?"

"Your laugh silly." Ben could still find ways to make her feel good about herself.

"So the hard feelings, we can put those aside," Monica asked hopefully? 'God her voice could be sweet.'

"Speaking for me I have way more good memories than bad. You'll always be a special lady to me Monica Young. We both should really take the advice you gave me in New York. We're adults and we need to find a way to be happy in life." Monica shook her head as Ben spoke. This was not going like she wanted at all.

"I have more good memories too." She decided just to play things out.

"Look Monica I have things to do. One more thing and then I'll hang up. Whatever things are like, and may always be like between us, knowing you has enriched my life. I hope you feel the same. Goodbye Monica" 'For now' Ben grinned wickedly as he hung up the phone.

Monica cast her head down onto the small desk in her apartment. Her hair sprawled everywhere covering it. She pounded the desk with her left fist in frustration. 'Would they ever be able say the things they wanted and needed to say to one another?'

The next week passed without further contact from Miss Young, there were now fourteen days until the fall semester started. It was a perfect northwest summer day. Sun high in the sky chasing away clouds, allowing a blanket of Carolina blue to cover Seattle. It was moving day, and the Conner house was a frenzy of activity. Duffle bags and backpacks were loaded and stacked in the living room. Boxes were stacked on the front lawn. Ben, Dino, and Jonathan stood outside the front door staring at the mass of cardboard. 'Eighteen years of existence crated and ready to be shipped.' The three were numb, unable to speak to one another. Together since grade school, none could remember life without the other two. Each had their own plans: Dino would attend community college in Seattle, attempt to get his grades in order and revive his hockey career. Jonathan would attend UW and major in photography. He'd already lined up an internship as a photographer for the student newspaper. Until this moment however none had ever considered that their plans might take them in different directions. Waiting for Roland to return with the moving truck left the boys nothing but time to entertain these thoughts. Ben was starting to understand that his grand ideas about seeing Monica again had clouded his judgment. The thought of leaving Dino and Jonathan behind made the life altering nature of his decision hit him. For the first time since he'd made it, Ben was questioning his decision to leave.

"Are you sure about this?" Dino was the first to summon the nerve to speak.

"For the fifteen-thousandth time yes." His uncertainty caused Ben to snap at his friend.

Jonathan fired the next salvo. "Look Ben we all know Miss Young is beyond hot. You better then any of us, but still think about what you're doing here. Uprooting and moving your life thirteen-hundred miles southeast because you're horny."

Ben glared at his friends, "Guys what I'm about to say may sound crazy, but I need her. I haven't always been happy with her, but I'm sure unhappy without her."

Mercifully Roland rounded the corner with the moving truck, breaking up the conversation. The boys turned their attention away from each other and dutifully started loading the truck along with Roland and Amanda. With five sets of hands the job went quickly. As Roland closed and latched the moving truck the three boys stood in front yard staring at one another. They wanted to hug each other, but their male egos resisted. Each of the three was straining to control their emotions. "So this is goodbye," Jonathan looked down at his feet as he said it.

"This is until next time. I'll be back for the holidays after the first semester." Ben looked down also.

"Okay I guess I can handle that." Dino tried to sound cheerful.

"Ben time to get going" Roland shouted while honking the truck horn.

The three boys formed a huddle and put their arms around one another. Jonathan pulled Ben's ear to his face and whispered "You're giving up everything for this dude. Don't come back without her."

"Right On," Dino slapped Ben's backside as he walked away. Like a coach sending a player in for a critical play. The two boys watched Ben climb into the SAAB along with Amanda. They turned their heads in unison watching the truck and car disappear down the street. Dino turned back to Jonathan. "The cliff Ben just jumped off of, how high you think it is?"

"I'm sure he'll find out." Jonathan replied, his voice showed his uncertainty.


	8. Meeting As Equals

**Ch 8: Meeting As Equals**

Ben sat in his dorm room trying to read one of his textbooks. The room itself was small and drab. It measured maybe nine foot by nine foot; flat white paint covered the walls. A huge window with vertical blinds did at least let light in. The room was divided into two halves with the door in the middle. As one entered a box frame single bed was on the left, and a cheap particleboard desk and shelving unit was to the right. Ben was neat and kept a clean isle between the halves.

Having completed the move to Denver over two months ago. Ben now had full sense of how grand a change he'd made in his life. He'd had always considered himself a smart and self-sufficient person, but for the first time in his life he was well and truly alone. When he left Seattle he'd just assumed he'd have a roommate, so he was shocked to find that the dorms were singles. Ben still had trouble talking to people, particularly girls, his own age. This left Ben to navigate the changes of college life almost completely by himself. Ben still had his cell phone, and in addition to that he spent hours on IM's with Dino and Jon. However they were still in Seattle, over a thousand miles away from him. He hadn't found the time to see Monica yet; he was too busy trying to establish a new sense of order and routine. Everything from finding his way around campus, to learning where the nearest laundry mat was located occupied Ben's time.

Ben hadn't neglected his Monica plans totally though. He had managed to get a job as an editor of the CU student newspaper. More specifically he became the sports page editor. The reporting and writing positions were internships and had to be filled by CU students. The editing positions though were ordinary, hourly paid half-time positions. It had surprised Ben more than a little when he'd seen the advertisement in the Denver student newspaper for the positions at CU. Ben felt largely that he didn't deserve the job because he'd cheated more than a little in order to land it. When he got an interview he'd called Jonathan and borrowed a writing sample to submit. Also, in order to keep up appearances, he selected journalism as his major at Denver. At first Ben was woefully out of his depth, but he learned quickly and even enjoyed the work. Particularly the fact that he got to boss around a staff of four CU student sports reporters. The four kissed up to Ben constantly because he got to decide which sporting events they covered. Most of all however the job gave Ben a reason to visit the Boulder campus anytime he wished. It was the perfect way to get closer to Miss Young.

Ben closed his textbook; he couldn't concentrate because thoughts of Monica had crept to the front of his mind. He'd hoped with his job to just simply run into her, but that hadn't happened. So he grabbed his keys and decided that today was the day he was going to make it happen. The Boulder campus was only about thirty miles away and Ben covered the distance in less than ten minutes. My driving has gotten as bad as hers he thought as he pulled into a parking meter outside the journalism building. Like a lot of things since he'd decided to leave Seattle, Ben realized as he plugged the meter, that he hadn't adequately planned for this moment. This was a huge campus and he had only vague information about where to find her. All he knew was that she was an English TA, so he decided to start with the English Department offices. A brown brick building that had been renovated fairly recently. Inside the halls were white with oak trim, and the doors, which were handicapped accessible, swung open automatically when pushed or pulled. Ben placed his hands on his hips when he found the bulletin board that listed office numbers. The board gave office numbers for professors only. It was after four in the afternoon and not many classes were still in session. Ben asked the few students he found roaming the building if they knew Miss Young, but no one did. As he wandered the first floor of the building Ben eventually found a bulletin board that had course descriptions posted. The course descriptions listed an instructor, a time, and a room, but that was the room where the class was held. Still he found Miss Young's name twice on these pages. From these he could discern that she taught two different classes, and she seemed to have a Monday, Wednesday, Friday teaching schedule. This was Monday but to Ben's disappointment both her classes were long since over.

Ben had to try a new idea. He went back over to the journalism building and sought out his chief editor. Henry Phillips was a bald, grandfatherly type man in his sixties, who'd retired as a reporter from the Denver Post some years earlier. Ben liked the man. Henry was patient and allowed Ben time to learn his job as an editor to spite seeing that he had exaggerated his qualifications somewhat. "What can I do for you Ben," the grandfather asked kindly as he approached.

"Is there some kind of staff directory for the campus? Names office numbers and such. I'm trying to find an old English teacher of mine."

"Sure, who are you trying to find?" Henry opened a drawer and laid his copy of the CU campus directory on his desk.

"Miss Young, her name is Miss Young." Ben had to repress excitement as he said the name.

Henry immediately closed the book, "Miss Young, you mean Monica Young?"

"I don't know her first name." Ben stomach tightened as he lied.

"Short, brown hair, green eyes, gorgeous little thing?" Henry's eyes danced as he gave the description.

"That's her." Ben nodded as Henry tapped the directory with his knuckles.

"She was your English teacher, how old were you?" Henry put the directory back away.

"I was sixteen," Ben smiled as he said it.

"Ooooh, sixteen, I bet you enjoyed that class." Henry leaned back in his chair as he let out the slight moan.

'More than you'll ever know old man.' "I take it you know her." Ben was starting to get mildly annoyed at his boss's pleasure over Miss Young.

"Hey I'm old, I'm not dead." Henry sensed Ben's discomfort and winked at him. "Yeah I know her, she's a TA and she's going to graduate school here."

"I know all of that, I'm trying to find her." Ben's tone grew more exasperated.

"Well they've actually got her teaching Journalism 100 this semester. She doesn't like it and screeches endlessly." Henry rolled his eyes. "That woman can be a temptress and a cast iron bitch all at the same time. Anyways she's on top floor of the English building, office 708.

"Thank You," Ben shouted as he turned to run out of the building.

Office 708 was a space shared by six different people. It was a large space with grey cubicle dividers, a light brown-carpeted floor, off white stucco walls, and a Styrofoam drop ceiling. Bright track lights lit the place. The room had long and narrow rectangular windows on the wall opposite the door. Only three of the six cubicles were visible from the doorway and they were empty. Ben crept around the outside of the room and past the center divider. Monica was in the first cubicle on the window side of the room. Ben looked past her at the others, they were alone. Monica's head was down, an open textbook and white plastic reading lamp were all that adorned the top of her metal desk. She had a notepad and was scratching notes as she scanned the book. Ben was content to admire her for some time. She wore a hot pink blouse and her hair was in a bun, held in place by a large peach colored hairclip. To Ben's great disappointment the desk hid the lower half of her. Miss Young sensed his presence and looked up. She didn't bother hiding her shock as she removed her reading glasses.

"Ben, my god what are you doing here?" Miss Young turned and examined the cubicles behind her much as Ben had.

"Don't worry we're alone," Ben took a seat and rested his hands on her desk. 'Let the game begin.' Neither spoke for several moments. She examined him too. Ben wore a simple white dress shirt with the cuffs rolled up just below his elbows and a pair of blue jeans. She also noticed that those chocolate eyes were still mesmerizing. As always happened when they met, an outside observer could've physically seen the emotions wash over them.

"Answer the question Ben, what the hell are you doing in Boulder?" She leaned forward and pointed her pen at Ben.

"Well at the last minute I decided I wanted to go to Denver. I'm a student at Denver University." Ben announced it like it was supposed to be some mythic revelation that would allow them to be together.

Miss Young put down her pen and drummed her fingers against the desk. "I see and what brought on that decision?" The phone conversation he'd overheard had put Ben at ease too much. He was surprised now because she wasn't being very receptive. Her eyes were lasers and her voice was starting to get that razor edge he knew all to well.

"Well a person named Jane had a lot to do with it." Ben sat back still feeling like he was in control after playing his trump card.

"Jane?" Monica threw her hands up in gesture: who is Jane?

"Your next door neighbor Jane." Ben's tone was out and out smug.

Monica's drumming fingers slowed their tempo. "How could you possibly know who she is?"

"Little tip, you might want to try actually hanging up your phone next time." Ben's smugness continued.

The phone conversation Ben mentioned was over two months old so it took some time for Monica to piece together what had happened that night. When she did though it was impossible for her to keep the shock and horror off her face. "So, so you heard all of that?" Miss Young stammered and shrunk back in her chair remembering the conversation.

"Every single solitary word." Ben paused for at least a second in between words. He was reaching a state of almost lunatic pleasure. He thought he had Monica right where he wanted her.

Miss Young on the other hand found his tone immature and was determined to cut him back to size. Before speaking she stood up and took another look around the office to make sure they were still alone. "Then I suppose you're here to try and get back together with me?"

"It's crossed my mind yeah." Ben leaned forward and actually tried to kiss her.

Monica stepped back, her face became hard as steel. "Don't ever try and do that again. I'm still the woman and you're still the boy here."

"That's not what you said two months ago." Ben raised his voice and stood up to his full height, meaning to intimidate her. The fight for control of the conversation was fully on.

Monica had learned from her past mistakes and at least took the precaution of walking over and shutting the office door before continuing. As she took her place opposite him again Monica looked at the floor. "Ben the deal is this. I meant what I said to Jane. Every word of it, I love you as much as it is humanly possible, at least for me. Sometimes that's just not enough though. It's a shame because we're so great together, but our past is just too much. Secondly, you have been nothing but arrogant since you came in here. That tells me that you still have a lot of growing up to do. So in spite of what I may feel I choose not to go down that path again. And you will not drag me down it with you either." Miss Young's cheeks flushed and her hands balled into fists as she looked up at Ben. Her eyes burned with a rage and intensity he'd never seen before.

Ben collapsed back into the chair. 'That is what she's waited three years to tell me.' He'd really built in his mind that this was going to be some kind of joyful, passionate reunion. Now it was clear she wanted nothing of the sort. It was also all to clear that he still didn't have the muscle to stand up to her in an argument. Tears formed in the corner of Ben's eyes. He sat silently trying to figure out a next move. Monica immediately softened, seeing that she'd hurt him. She opened a desk drawer and tossed Ben a box of tissues. At that moment the words Jonathan had said echoed in his head: don't come back without her.

Ben immediately began to recover. "I suppose it was a foolish to think that just showing up here would fix things." Monica nodded agreement. "I thought if we could become more like equals. I've had dreams about you recently." Ben stopped. Monica's face fell into a mix of curiosity and apprehension. Ben chuckled slightly, "Not those kind of dreams. You still have dirty mind Monica Young." The line earned a small smile from Miss Young. "It was a dream about circumstances. Circumstances are what I thought stood in our way back in Seattle. I thought I could change them." Ben put his head down and gently folded his hands to indicate he was through.

"Some of them yes, but not all. Ben my heart leapt when I saw you standing in front of me today. Every time I see you half of me wants to grab hold and never, ever let go." Monica's voice switched back to teacher mode.

"And the other half?" Ben asked hesitantly.

Monica lowered her eyes to the desk, "the other half says that you and me are a destructive and self defeating proposition. If we end up hurting each other again I doubt either one of us could survive it." Against her wishes Monica's voice continued to soften.

"I just don't know if I believe that, the idea that we, us are destructive and self defeating." Ben leaned on the desk again.

"Believe it. Look mostly it's my fault. I gave Sue the D and I made the big mistake seducing your brother. Ben take it as sign of how much you mean to me that you could reduce a twenty-three year old woman to the such petty jealousy. Also take it as sign of just how out of control a relationship between you and me could get." Monica looked at her watch, it was seven-thirty. The sun was already setting. 'My god we've been talking for two hours.' Miss Young rose and shouldered her purse. "It's time for us to go our separate ways Ben."

"At least let me walk you to your car. After all I think we are equals now. Both of us are students, and we practically live in the same city. Friends at least?" Ben extended a hand.

"I'm a grad, you're an undergrad, but I'd like that." Monica shook his hand.

Ben continued to make small talk as they walked out of the building. "Say I've got to ask you something. When I overheard you and Jane talking why did you tell her your car wouldn't make it back to Seattle?"

"You know me Ben, my bug is getting older and I drive it too hard. It's been stalling a lot lately. In fact I haven't said my daily prayer for it to start today." Miss Young smiled.

"Why not just get a new one," Ben asked naively?

"Yeah, I know I've got that extra twenty thousand dollars around here some place." Monica playfully frisked herself. "I live on student loans, and my stipend as a teacher."

"You're telling me, I'm gonna be in debt up to my eyeballs coming here." Ben was quite cheerful, for a man who'd come thirteen hundred miles to be rejected.

"Welcome to my world. One thing I've got to ask you Ben, why the dress shirt, I've never seen you wear anything but a polo with jeans?"

Ben looked down sheepishly. "Dress shirts are all I have at the moment. See one of the many things Ben Conner has had to learn to do for himself, since coming here alone, is laundry. Lesson number one apparently is don't use hot water with colors."

Monica almost screamed with laughter as she reached her car. Mercifully the bug started for her. She shook Ben's hand through the window as she drove off. Ben kicked the cloud of dust she left behind. He'd failed this time, but he could still make her laugh. Besides he had no intention of giving up so easily.


	9. The Sea and the Slip

**Ch 9: The Sea and the Slip**

Ben parked his SAAB outside the journalism building again. He took the steps leading up to the building two at a time. Henry had called for him to come down to the office this morning, but wouldn't tell him why. Ben was in a hurry because he had to make it back to Denver in time for his own classes. As he rounded the corner he received another rude surprise. Henry was seated at his desk, and standing in front of him was Miss Young. Immediately Ben went pale and his stomach began to turn. Miss Young had an absolute end of the world look on her face. Ben shifted his eyes back and forth between her and Henry as he approached. The grandfather was a retired newspaper reporter with very good instincts. Perhaps he'd followed Ben and overheard the conversation in Miss Young's office. "You wanted to see me Henry," Ben squeaked out. He turned to Miss Young and mouthed the words what's going on. She lowered her head and pointed at Henry. Ben closed his eyes and clenched his fists, here it comes!

"Son I'm sorry, but I'm about to wreck your plans for Thanksgiving." Henry took off his glasses and set them on his desk.

"Huh, what?" Ben squinted and his eyes darted right and left trying to understand.

"Well as you know Nebraska and Colorado are playing for the Big Twelve North Division Championship the day after Thanksgiving." Ben nodded. "Well two of your reporter charges have become ill, Mono. I know you're supposed to be an editor but I don't have any choice but to send you in place of them."

"Send me to Lincoln, as a reporter?" Ben sighed relief, realizing what was really going on.

"We need at least three guys covering the game. One writes the summary, one covers Colorado in the post game, the third covers Nebraska. With two sick that means I've got to send you. You'll be covering Nebraska's side of things that will be the easiest and shortest article to write. You'll attend their post game press conference and write about it. Any questions?" Henry leaned forward on his desk. Ben and Monica stayed silent. "Good here are your media credentials." Henry produced two laminated cards with clips attached to them. He handed one to Monica, and the other to Ben.

"Forgive me but what does she have to do with any of this?" Ben pointed a thumb at Miss Young.

Henry looked down and drummed his fingers on the desk for a moment. "Call it bosses privilege. A staff adviser usually accompanies the reporters on something like this. Normally that would be me. In this case however I'm the boss and I say I stay here for Thanksgiving, she goes with you and the others to Lincoln." Henry looked up at Monica who was almost crushing the media credential in her left hand.

"So all I'm really doing is baby sitting these boys?" Monica had her hands on her hips now.

"Well Yes, and." Henry looked down at his desk and away from Monica.

Monica winced and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers, "somehow I knew there was going to be an and."

Henry returned to drumming his fingers, "There is one other slight problem. We only have two hotel rooms booked."

"Then one kid sleeps on the floor, because I get a room to myself," Monica snapped.

"Fine, you four work that out. You'll travel with the team; plane leaves at 7:30PM Thursday night.

"Great two hours as a captive audience for a bunch of hormonal jocks." Monica said it as she turned to walk out of the building.

Ben ran to catch up to her and grabbed her arm on the front steps. "Hey, the plane ride is the least of your worries."

"What do you mean exactly?" Monica turned toward him and her eyes narrowed.

"You don't know much about football so let's put it this way. What is your favorite color?"

"Royal blue, why?" Monica tapped her foot to indicate her impatience.

"How do you feel about red, bright red?" Ben was repressing laughter as he asked.

Monica shrugged, "It's okay I guess, what's so important about the color red?"

"Oh you'll find out." Ben was laughing hysterically as he descended the steps and started his SAAB.

The Embassy Suites in downtown Lincoln is only two blocks from the football stadium. It's always home base for visiting teams any entourage they bring. Monica did make Ben and the other two reporters sleep in one room so she could have the other to herself. Even though it had two beds in it. On the Friday after Thanksgiving Monica was sleeping peacefully when she was rudely awakened by band music. She rolled out of bed and massaged her aching temples while stumbling over to the window. She drew the curtain and was hit with brilliant sunshine. This only served to make her headache worse however. She glanced over at the alarm clock: 6:03AM. As her eyes adjusted she saw the scene on the street below. Scanning out from her window she could see the stadium. It was an oval rotunda, and also the single tallest building on the campus. It was built entirely of dull grey concrete. The only color seemed to come from the colossal red "N" centered high on the long side. Several white semis bearing the logo "ABC Sports" were pulled to the curb on the street that ran alongside the stadium. Technicians were bustling in and out of these carrying a seemingly endless string of cables and wires. The music that had so cruelly awakened Monica was from Nebraska's marching band. Three hundred college kids dressed in red pants and white button downs with "Nebraska" stitched in fire engine red across the front. The band had a fully assembled drum line and every kind of orchestra instrument imaginable. Out on the street the parking lots outside the stadium were already filling up. RV's were being parked, grills, smokers, and other cooking devices brought to the ready. Nebraska is a state of about 1.7 million people, and at this moment they all seemed to be cramming themselves into the two-block radius around the stadium. Absolutely every one of the people on the street wore the same color red as the band. They were clapping and chanting to the music. Monica turned and looked at the alarm clock again. 'Christ the game isn't for another thirteen hours.'

Ben and the others were awakened by the noise as well. He opened the door adjoining their room to Monica's and stood in the doorway admiring her. She wore only a white nightshirt. The two other reporters soon joined Ben in the doorway. The shirt showed off Monica's legs quite nicely and one of the reporters whistled when he saw her. She whipped around an immediately rushed the boys "Get out, right now." She shoved them back into their room and slammed the door.

"Well that was a cheap thrill," One of the reporters said to the group. Ben's hands balled into fists and his cheeks flushed. He had to work unbelievably hard to control the urge to punch the guy. Eventually the other reporters went downstairs to have breakfast with the Colorado team. This allowed Ben to sneak back into Monica's room. She had put some sweatpants on and was back over at the window. Still astonished by the monochromatic scene below her. Ben crept up behind her and put his arms around her. It was an action born more out of familiarity then any type of planning or pretense. As soon as he did it he realized it, and half expected her to turn and hit him. Instead she nestled back into him and laid her head against his shoulder. "You were right, now I understand why you asked me if I liked red." Ben inhaled a deep breath smelling her hair, remembering her shampoo smelled like watermelons.

"Collectively Nebraska fans call themselves the sea of red, they practically worship football and their team." Ben massaged Monica's arms, which had goose bumps standing by the window.

"Yeah, well do services have to start thirteen hours before the goddamn game?" She turned her head and smiled at him. Unable to resist he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She lifted her head and kissed back, making no effort to stop him. Their hands found one another and fingers intertwined while they continued kissing. Monica came to her senses first and broke away. "Ben I think you should leave, right now."

"You didn't enjoy that," Ben massaged his lips with his fingers?

"Ben that was a slip, a slip back into what is comfortable and feels good." Monica grabbed his hands again. "Like I told you back in Seattle I'm sorry I started this whole thing. We can't do this." She was trying her best to be bitch Monica, but she wasn't succeeding.

"Like I told you back in Seattle I'm not at all sorry we started this." He approached and tried to wrap his arms around her again.

"Ben just please leave." She raised her voice as she fought him. The fact that he wasn't listening made her angry and allowed the bitch to be summoned. Ben slumped his shoulders and reluctantly retreated into the other hotel room. He closed the adjoining door behind him. Monica went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. She leaned on the counter shaking her violently, admonishing herself for what had just happened.

Day passed into evening very slowly for Monica Young. She hated football and was bored out of her mind with this duty. The slip with Ben didn't help things either, as it made her dread what might happen after the game.

Monica, Ben, and the rest of the quartet left the hotel an hour before the game. Up till now they'd only observed the red mass of humanity. Now they actually had to try and navigate through it. The two-block walk took twenty minutes of bumping, jostling, and weaving to complete. As they entered the stadium Ben and Monica held hands, not out of romance but out of necessity. It was the only way to stay together. Ben looked something like Johnny Cash; he wore black jeans and a black CU Buffalos sweatshirt. His media credential was clipped to his belt, and he carried a laptop under his left arm. Monica wore a white turtleneck sweater and black pants, her pass was clipped to the underside of the neck. As they approached the media pass gate they stuck out like sore thumbs against all the people wearing red.

It's an experience most people, particular boys have early in life, but Monica had never had it. She'd attending many sporting events in her twenty-seven years, but never a football game outdoors at night. The sun was setting and it was dark beneath the stadium as Monica, Ben, and the others advanced up the catwalks to upper level. As they approached the entrance they came out of the dark and into a slightly blue tinged light. Monica twisted her head around as she entered the stadium, the dull roar of the crowd and the high-pitched voice of the PA announcer hitting her ears. The cool night air flushed her cheeks and began to blow her hair. Even though she didn't like football she had to admit the stadium was a picturesque sight. Banks of mercury oxide lights on the long sides of the oval lit the inside of the stadium brilliantly. Suddenly there was color in the world again, which the lights seemed to deepen. The field seemed very green contrasted against the pearly white yard lines and hash marks. The orange foam pylons marking the corners of the end zones also stood out. The "N" at the fifty-yard line, and the lettering in the end zones "Nebraska" in one, "Huskers" in the other blazed an even brighter red. The giant replay screen above located above the scoreboard on one of the short ends of the oval was almost blinding. The marching band was directly seated directly across from where the group had entered. It was still thirty minutes till kickoff, but red sea, 85,000 strong had already filled the stadium.

Ben re-gripped Monica's hand and started to lead her up the steps toward the press box. The incline was fairly steep and Monica lost a shoe about half way up. As she turned to retrieve it she unintentionally pulled Ben backward. Both lost their balance and tumbled. Ben saw twenty-five hundred dollars flash before his eyes as his laptop flew through the air. Monica braced herself but she never hit the ground. Neither did Ben's laptop; it was caught by one of the spectators.

A young man in a raiders sweatshirt had caught Monica. He held her for just a moment, transfixed by her beauty, before helping her back to her feet. The girl that caught Ben's laptop approached him to hand it back. As Ben and Monica recovered their bearings they found themselves surrounded by three people. "Nice catch, Saber, Aurora maybe we should put those red jerseys on you two," said a short, stocky farm boy in a red husker jacket.

"You okay Miss," the raiders shirt asked Monica, dusting her shoulders where he'd grabbed her. She rewarded him with a smile for using Miss instead of Ma'am.

"Fine thanks guys."

"I'm Jeff, the raiders shirt that caught you is SaberSeven, and the girl who caught the laptop is Aurora." The stocky farm kid introduced everyone.

"Yours I believe." Aurora looked up at Ben as she handed the laptop back, her fingers touching Ben's for just the briefest of moments. She was also rewarded with a smile.

"I'm Monica and that's Ben. Please tell me those aren't their real names."

"Sorry we've only met recently, there's this message board the three of us have been sort of obsessed with lately. So we tend to call each other by our Internet handles." SaberSeven continued.

"So you all decided to meet here?" Ben joined the conversation.

"We wanted to meet and jeff4bigred here said he'd buy us tickets if we could find a way to get here, so here we are." Aurora continued smiling cheerfully at Ben.

"Well thanks again guys we better get out of the isle." Ben and Monica said in unison.

The three fans turned and watched Ben and Monica ascend the rest of the steps and disappear into the press box. "Wow," Saber said to Jeff and Aurora.

"Wish I'd have caught her," Jeff said shaking his head.

"Ben isn't bad to look at either," Aurora was still smiling.

The press box seemed like a wholly different world than the stadium itself. It spanned the top of one of the long ends of the oval and was built like a high- rise structure; three levels stacked one on top of the other. The entire thing was sound proofed, so inside things were quiet to spite the frenzy just a few feet outside. However the lowest level of the box contained luxury suites and still had red clad fans milling about. Ben and Monica passed through the suites and took an elevator ride to the second level. The press level was open across the entire length of the box. Six terraced rows of long light grey tables covered the length. Folding chairs were available to sit in and the tables had consoles with Internet connections every foot or so. The group found seats in the front row and plugged their computers into the consoles.

With nothing else to do Monica propped her elbow on the table rested her head on her right fist and watched the boys work. In the press area there was no cheering or loud talking, in fact the dominant sound was the clicking of computer keys as people typed. This was a game between two unbeaten teams so most of the seats were taken.

The game started and Monica actually watched a little of it. From her height above the field the teams looked like the toy soldiers little boys play with. Eleven red and white soldiers against eleven black and gold soldiers scattered sparsely on the expanse of green.

Monica turned back to watching the reporters, but her eyes kept gravitating to Ben. It made her feel slightly voyeuristic to watch him work. It was feeling Monica liked more than she'd care to admit. He had a rhythm going, raise his eyes to watch a play, lower them to type something. Just like when Ben played chess his intensity was intoxicating. 'There are just so many things about him that are so damned irresistible.' Monica shook her head to clear the thought.

After the game Monica was left alone as the Ben and the other reporters dispersed to cover post game press conferences. She descended out of the press box and navigated the sea one more time, walking back to her hotel room. She sat on the edge of one of beds, in the dark, for a while thinking about what had happened that morning. She was scared of the pain he might cause, but she also remembered how good it felt to have his arms wrapped around her. 'Am I ever going to be able to stop this internal tug of war about Ben.' It was nearly midnight when she decided to take a walk to try and dismiss her thoughts. As soon as Ben's job was finished he returned to the hotel and opened the adjoining door: poking his head in looking for Monica, she was nowhere to found.

Monica wandered the street that ran in front of the stadium. The stadium lights were still on so the street was well lit, but it was nearly deserted now. The red sea had moved off to local restaurants and bars to celebrate. As she walked she came upon a group of three people taking turns throwing rocks and gravel at the ABC Sports trucks. She recognized them as the same three that had helped her and Ben. "Hey what are you three doing?" Monica walked over.

"Just a little property damage, ABC recently canceled this TV show we all liked." Aurora spoke for the group. Monica nodded and smiled.

"Something else we can do for you?" Saber asked hopefully, remembering how small and light she was in his hands.

"Nah I'm just avoiding somebody." Monica's face and voice were kind and gentle but sad.

"I see any particular reason," Jeff asked?

"Don't ask, it's complicated." Monica's face deepened its sadness.

Monica rubbed her arms to fight of the chill of the night air and continued walking. "Nice to have met you," the three shouted as she walked away.

Monica waved a hand and continued pacing, she didn't return to the hotel for quite some time.

"She's so pretty, but that is not a happy person." Saber said as the group returned to their stoning.


	10. All the King's Horses and All the King's...

**Ch 10: All the King's Horses and All the King's Men**

"CSP cruiser 3211 to dispatch." Deputy Michael Bradley said into his radio as he activated his lights and siren, and slowed his vehicle.

"Dispatch, go ahead 3211." A female voice responded.

"Arriving on scene of a one vehicle accident, west bound on Interstate 76 at the I-25 overpass. Vehicle is a black two-door SAAB sedan. State of Washington license plate 5-5-7 charlie, hotel, echo."

"Ah, copy that 3211, attempting to access electronic database of Washington state DMV, standby." It was nearly 1:30AM as deputy Bradley parked behind the mangled piece of black metal. The high beams of his silver and blue cruiser illuminating it. He stepped out into a light rain and turned on his flashlight. Deputy Bradley was 33, and average man of six foot and about 180 pounds. His light blue windbreaker whipped in the breeze as he approached the vehicle. The SAAB had slid off the four lanes of traffic and impacted against one of the concrete pillars supporting the overpass of I-25. The driver's side quarter panel and door were completely smashed in and pinned against the pillar, in fact the car had almost wrapped itself around mass of concrete. Bradley hurriedly moved to the passenger side and smashed the window with the end of his flashlight. He was an experienced patrolman but this was something he never got used to. "Dispatch 3211, officer requesting ambulance and fire units be dispatched to scene double quick. Tell the fire unit they better bring grinders and a cutting torch." Officer Bradley's veins filled with adrenaline as he shined his flashlight inside the car.

"Copy 3211, ah, response from Washington DMV. Vehicle registered to a Roland Conner, Caucasian male, 54, Seattle address, no wants or warrants at this time."

Bradley unhooked his radio from his shoulder and held it to his mouth as he ran the end of the flashlight around the rim of the window to clear any remaining chards of glass.

"Dispatch occupant is a Caucasian male, 18-23, brown hair, other vitals unknown at this time. Blunt force trauma to the head and chest, occupant was wearing his seatbelt at time of impact." Bradley reached across the interior to feel for a pulse.

"3211, skkkkt, Lakewood city Fire and EMS responding, ETA six minutes." Dispatch crackled into Bradley's radio as he continued trying to find a pulse. Adrenaline had taken over so much Bradley had noticed the smell in the air until now, the smell of gasoline. He knelt down to look beneath the car and again jabbed the talk button of his radio. "Dispatch add a hazardous materials unit to the list, this car is leaking gas, over."

"3211 dispatch, copy." There was a moment of silence before Bradley's radio came back. "3211 you are ordered to evacuate the scene at this time."

"Negative dispatch, this kid's in trouble over."

"3211 your radio is a safety hazard. You are ordered to clear the area immediately." The female voice rose perceptibly.

"Screw you, where the hell is my ambulance?" Bradley finally broke radio discipline.

"Still four minutes out 3211. I say again evacuate now."

"I'm not sure this kid has four minutes." Bradley still couldn't find a pulse. "Dispatch I'm standing in gasoline here, I'll clear the area, but I'm going to risk moving the victim.

"Negative, negative 3211, do not move the victim."

"Either I take him with me, or I stay put, those are your choices dispatch." Bradley growled angrily as he tried to force open the passenger door.

Feeling he had no other choice Bradley leaned in the window up to his waist and began cutting the seatbelt with his Swiss army knife. He placed his hands on the victim's shoulders and slowly worked him free of the steering column. Bradley laid the victim down on the passenger seat and worked his own way back outside the window. Then he grabbed the victim and as carefully as he could manage slid him out the passenger side window. Bradley held the kid in what looked from the outside like a full nelson in order to stabilize the head and drug him to the back seat of his patrol car. With the victim secure Bradley reversed his cruiser until he could no longer see the SAAB. Bradley returned to the back of his cruiser and covered the kid with a blanket from his trunk just as the Fire Department and Ambulance arrived.

Amanda Conner rolled over and picked up the phone. "Hello." She was groggy and not awake.

"This is the office of Colorado State Patrol, I'm trying to get in touch with a Roland Conner of Seattle Washington." A male voice said on the other end of the phone.

"He's right here, I'm his wife Amanda." By now she had turned the bedside lamp on and both parents were energized with fear.

"Ma'am does he have a black two-door SAAB sedan registered to him, license plate 557-c-h-e?" The lack of emotion in the voice was annoying Amanda.

"Yes," she snapped in reply.

"Ma'am that car was involved in an accident along Interstate 76 this morning or late last night. If you and Roland are in Seattle who would be driving the vehicle?"

Amanda went pale, "Our son Ben, he goes to college in Denver."

Trooper Bradley was trying to set up a perimeter and get things sealed off when his radio squawked at him again. "3211 dispatch, victim is likely one Benjamin Conner, age 18, 11054 Minter Court, Seattle Washington."

Bradley grabbed his radio from his shoulder, "identity confirmed dispatch, victim's drivers license matches that information." Bradley held Ben's license between his thumb and index finger.

"Alright roll guys." A fireman knocked the back of the ambulance after everyone had climbed inside and the doors were shut. The large orange and white GMC rapidly disappeared into the Colorado night, lights and siren blazing.

Roland massaged his wife's shoulders, "What's going on." Amanda was crying violently.

"It's Ben, he's been in an accident." Roland grabbed his wife and hugged her.

"How bad is he?" Roland began shaking while trying to comfort his wife. It was more than obvious Ben hadn't escaped injury.

"They don't know, or wouldn't say. All they told me was that rescue units were on the scene." Amanda feverishly wiped tears from her eyes.

The ambulance continued tearing through the night. "Hey his name is Ben, Ben Conner." The ambulance driver rapped on the window to get the attention of the two paramedics working on Ben. Ben himself lay naked on the backboard and gurney. The paramedics had cut off his clothes and covered him with blankets. A collar was wrapped around his neck, and air casts inflated around each of his broken legs.

"Ben if you can here me, squeeze my hand," one of medics grasped Ben's left hand fingers. He squeezed gently. "Good Ben"

"He's lost a lot of blood, pressure 82 over 50, pulse tacky at 160." The second medic deflated the pressure cuff and grabbed needles to set up an IV. The first grabbed a bag of potassium solution and hung it from the roof.

"As soon as I get this started run that fluid in as fast as it'll go," the second continued to work on starting the IV in Ben's hand. When that was complete the first medic grabbed the bag suspended from the ceiling and squeezed it to force the liquid through the IV. The second took out a pocket flashlight and lifted each of Ben's eyelids. "Pupils are equal, but sluggish." The first continued squeezing the bag until all the fluid was out.

The phone exploded again at the Conner's house. It was barely allowed to ring once before Roland picked it up, "Yes"

"Roland Conner."

"Yes."

"My name is trooper Michael Bradley. I'm the one that discovered your car." Bradley had been patched through to the Conners via an emergency assistance phone near the crash.

"How is he?" Roland gulped and swallowed hard as he asked.

"Touch and go sir, the ambulance took him about ten minutes ago. Bound for University Hospital in Denver." Amanda watched her husband deflate like a balloon and collapse back onto the bed.

"What are his injuries," Roland continued.

"Both his legs are broke and he's unconscious that's all I could tell from looking at him." Bradley had been trained to give news like this, but the training never helped in the real world.

"Thank you officer." Roland set the phone down and addressed Amanda who was busy dragging suitcases up from the basement. "The officer that found Ben said both his legs are broke and he's unconscious." Roland's head fell into his hands.

Bradley left the phone and returned to the accident scene. By now backup had arrived and two of the four westbound lanes were closed. Cordoned off by orange cones and blocked by parked police vehicles. There was now a small army of officers present, some directed what little traffic there was, others helped tape off a perimeter for the HAZMAT unit. One of the HAZMAT technicians approached Bradley as he returned. "I was told you are the officer that has command over this fine mess." Bradley nodded. "Sir I found this in the back seat of the SAAB. Might help getting people contacted." Bradley accepted Ben's press pass from the football game. The pass was dated two weeks ago.

The paramedics delivered Ben to Colorado University Hospital Denver just before two AM. "Alright people on my count were gonna move him slow. 1-2-3 move him." Ben was shifted from the gurney to the examination table at University Hospital trauma room. "Portable neck and chest, c-spine, type and cross, stick a glucose and a crit, and once we get him stable a non contrast head CT." Doctor Scott Clair finished ordering the battery of tests he wanted for his patient. One nurse went over to phone and began scheduling the tests while others continued to hook Ben up to the various monitors stationed throughout the room. "Tube him, and let's start a central line. Someone call surgery and get a consult down here on the double. Move people move."

Michael Bradley was the epitome of everything good about a public servant. He was more than willing to risk his life to help people he didn't even know. Most officers might have ignored the press pass. After all Ben was properly identified and his parents contacted. But Bradley never did just the bare minimum; he started back toward the emergency phone.

Amanda stomped mercilessly around the Conner's bedroom. "God fking damn," she slammed the receiver back into the cradle. "We can't get a flight out until mid-morning tomorrow. What if we drive?"

Even in the midst of this tragedy Roland managed to reach a new level of stunned. Until this moment he'd never heard Amanda swear before. Let alone use the f-word. "It's a solid two day drive from here to Denver. The flight will get us there quicker. Okay now honey, one of us has to call Sam." Roland returned their thoughts to the moment.

"Oh god." Amanda cast her head down and continued packing clothes.

Trooper Bradley was nearly out of breath as he reached the emergency phone a second time. "Hello," another tired, just awoken voice answered Michael Bradley's phone call.

"Henry Phillips?"

"Yes, who's this?

"Do you know a Benjamin Conner sir?"

"Ben, yes I know him, I'm his boss. What's happened to him?" Henry was awake instantly and his reporter instincts kicked in.

"I'm sorry to tell you sir but he's being taken to University Hospital in Denver after an auto accident. He should be there by now."

"Yes, thank you officer Bradley." Henry hung up and got dressed.

By now a surgeon had come from the upper floors of the hospital and was helping out with Ben's trauma. So far they were unable to stabilize Ben. "Line is in, breathing tube is in, Christ why is his pressure still so low. Hang another unit." The surgeon barked. 90 over 65 was all nearly four minutes of work had earned the doctors, and Ben's heart rate had risen to 190.

"He's losing blood some place but I can't find where. We've got to get his system slowed down, he can't take much more than about another minute of this." Doctor Clair said as he continued examining Ben.

"His crit is terrible because of the amount of blood loss, we're about to add kidney shutdown to the list of problems here." The surgeon spoke as he quickly skimmed the first lab reports. At just that moment the snaking lines of the EKG went flat and a loud, high-pitched alarm started sounding.

"Paddles, paddles." Doctor Clair screamed for a defibrillator as the surgeon climbed on top of the examination table and straddled Ben. The surgeon's hands began pounding on Ben's chest.

Henry continued the domino effect. His instincts told him that there was more to Ben and Monica than either let on. He had no solid reason, yet somehow he was sure Monica would want to know about Ben. He looked up Miss Young's phone number and dialed. "Monica, sorry to wake you."

"Hen, Henry, god what time is it." Monica shook her head as she stumbled back to bed after retrieving her cordless.

"Monica, Ben Conner had a car accident early this morning."

She was silent for a long time. "Is he alright," Monica like all the others awoke instantly at the news.

"No he isn't. They took him by ambulance to University Hospital."

There was an even longer silence than before. Tears welled in Monica's eyes and she started to sniffle. "Henry, are you going to see him by chance," she choked out?

"Yes."

"Could you possibly give me a ride over? My bug it's in the shop again." The news was so traumatic that Monica didn't bother trying to contain her emotions. Even though they might reveal something of her past with Ben.

"Of course, I'll pick you up in ten minutes." Henry hung up the phone and Monica frantically got dressed.

Henry drove his favorite plaything, a cherry red corvette. It appeared in front of Monica's campus apartment right on schedule. "Does this thing move," she asked tersely as she got in? Her nerves getting the better of her.

"Oh yeah." Henry immediately noticed she'd brought a whole box of tissues with her as he slammed the car in gear and screeched toward the hospital. "A damn fine sports car is the one luxury I will not be without. Like I told Ben once: I'm old, I'm not dead." He regretted immediately mentioning Ben and death in the same sentence. He noticed Monica started shaking at the comment. 'Ben is more to her than just a former student.' "Monica I'm going to ask you something, it's none of my business, but what's the real deal with you two?"

"I' I was his English teacher." Monica responded tentatively.

"That's what he told me. You're a better liar then he is mind you, but you still not good enough to get one past an old reporter." Henry continued to observe Monica in the seat next to him. She could barely control her hand enough to blot her eyes.

Monica didn't speak for what seemed an eternity. She played with her hair, her watch, her bracelets, anything to avoid eye contact with Henry. Normally she liked riding around and driving, but something about this moment made her feel trapped. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn't fool the grandfather. "Okay Henry, what I'm about to trust you with could ruin me." Monica was still choked up and emotional.

Henry flashed her a friendly glance, "I've been retired for years lady. You can tell me anything, I won't judge you."

Strangely enough Monica believed him. "God where do I start. I was Ben's English teacher that much is true. I was also his girlfriend." She paused searching Henry for a reaction. His face didn't change at all. "I was his first, and he was my best. I loved him, I still love him." Monica kept sobbing and turned away from Henry.

Henry took a hand off the wheel and wiped a tear for Monica. "Since he showed up Denver looking for you, I'm going to assume the feelings were mutual."

"They were." Monica managed a small smile through her tears and nodded her head. Allowing pleasant memories of Ben to wash over her.

"So what happened?" Henry's voice was comforting.

"I felt so strongly about Ben that I forgot he was sixteen. Hell my feelings were so strong they made me act sixteen, even though I was twenty-three at the time. He broke up with me because of all the sneaking around we had to do. Also because the relationship got too intense for him. He ended up flaunting a new girlfriend in my face, and I slept with his brother out of revenge." Monica again searched Henry for a reaction: again there was none. Not the slightest hint of contempt or blame.

"No Monica, I meant what happened since he came here looking for you?" Monica immediately started sobbing uncontrollably again. Henry didn't know it but he'd just found the biggest of all her frayed nerves.

"This is all my fault." Monica choked out as she wept in her hands.

"How could that possibly be?"

"I slipped, we slipped. When you sent me to that stupid game, we had some time alone together and I let him kiss me. So I've been avoiding him the last couple of weeks. Today though he found me and we had a fight." Monica flashed Henry a look of pure hatred for forcing her to go to Lincoln.

"I don't understand, if he wants to be with you again then what's the problem? You're both legal now." Henry turned off the interstate and toward the hospital.

"It's not that simple, our past is overwhelming. You can't imagine the depth of pain we've caused one another. We were and are a mistake." Monica said it as forcefully as her emotions would let her.

Henry parked the corvette by the emergency entrance as he turned and looked at Monica. He placed his hand under her chin and lifted it until their eyes met. "Monica, I'm sixty-eight years old and as much of kid now as ever, so trust me when I say this. Any man, absolutely any man, would be the luckiest son of a bitch in the world to make a mistake like you."

"Thank you." Monica wiped away tears as she exited the corvette and ran toward double doors of the emergency department.

Monica charged through the doors like a rabid rhino. It was most defiantly a hospital. White tile floor and walls painted in annoying cheerful pastels that belied the suffering going on in such places. There was a large and unfriendly looking nurse sitting at the admit desk. "Ben Conner, I'm here to see Ben Conner, where is he?"

"Chairs, everybody waits in chairs." The chubby nurse shot a finger toward a waiting room across the hall from the admit desk.

Monica lunged across the desk, grabbed the nurse by the shoulders and pulled her to a standing position. She was least twice Monica's size. "Listen you fossil. I don't know how long you've had this job, and I don't know how many centuries you've walked this earth. But in all that time you have never met a raving bitch like me. Now where is Ben Conner?"

The large nurse instantly turned to jelly as she looked into Monica's eyes, blazing with fear and rage. "He's still in the trauma room. Ma'am we can't allow you back there. Please take a seat in the waiting room and I'll see if I can get someone to speak with you. Be assured that everything that can be done for him is being done. All the kings horses and all the kings men are in there."

Monica threw the nurse back down into her chair and walked over to the waiting room. Henry came and sat down next to her. Not long after that doctor Clair came into view and had a brief conversation with the nurse. The nurse pointed at Henry and Monica. Doctor Clair lowered his head and pushed his hands into the pockets of his white lab coat. Monica and Henry both stood as he approached them. Tears streamed down Monica's cheeks and she shook her head violently from side to side. Doctor Clair would not make eye contact with her. Out of instinct she lashed out and grabbed him much the same way she had the nurse. The desperation in her voice seemed to reach far beyond her twenty-six years, "Don't you dare tell me Ben is dead."


	11. A Lucky Boy

**Ch 11: A Lucky Boy**

Henry opened the blinds and watched the sunrise. Monica had a long last given in to fatigue and lay dozing lightly in a chair beside Ben's hospital bed. Ben's room was painted a hideous shade of pastel green. The color seemed to only get worse as the sun rose and shined off the white tile floor. Ben was still in intensive care, but he'd survived the night. The ventilator provided the only sound in the room as it rhythmically pushed air into Ben's lungs. To spite the fact that he still had a machine breathing for him, Ben was by all appearances peaceful. His face was bruised, but the monitors above Ben's head showed healthy normal readings. Were it not for the tubes sticking out of his arm, chest, and mouth he'd have looked like a normal sleeping boy who'd been in some sort of fight.

Monica awakened and Henry turned from the window as they heard the click of dress shoes against the tile floor. Doctor Clair greeted them with a pleasant smile. "I wanted to take one more look at him before my shift is over."

"How is he?" Monica's asked tiredly?

"He may not look it, but he's a lucky young man." Doctor Clair lifted Ben's eyelids and listened with his stethoscope. "In addition to his legs Ben here has several broken ribs, one of which actually distended and lacerated his liver. That's what was creating all the internal bleeding I had such a difficult time finding when he was brought in. He made it through surgery last night and his vitals are fine now." Doctor Clair draped his stethoscope back around his neck and began scratching notes on Ben's chart.

"So he'll be alright?" Henry and Monica asked in unison.

"He'll be mighty sore when he wakes up, and he won't leave this hospital for at least a month, but yeah Ben's going to be fine. His x-rays and head CT all look okay, there's no sign of any brain damage. That's why I say he was lucky, my guess would be that it wasn't very long from when he crashed to when he was found."

Tears formed in Monica's eyes at the news and she walked over to Ben. "His face looks so beat up," she commented as she softly stroked his hair.

"That's an airbag bruise. It'll go away in a week or so. Once he's awake we'll remove that breathing tube and put him regular room. Speaking of which, he's not going to wake up for several more hours. Why don't you two go home and get some rest." Monica instantly shook her head no and Henry chuckled slightly at the comment.

"Thank you doctor," Henry walked over and shook Clair's hand. The doctor took his leave. "C'mon Monica there has to be a coffee machine around here someplace. Let's go find it."

Ben's parents boarded a United 737 just after ten in the morning. To them the flight took much longer then the advertised two and a half hours. When they arrived in Denver they hurriedly picked up their bags and rental car. They had long since been informed of how their son was doing, but parents never stop being parents. Particularly when their children are hurt.

"So tell me about this fight you had." Henry and Monica were sitting in the hospital cafeteria now. They were seated at a table near the entrance and each had bad cup of coffee sitting in front of them. The place was about half full, mostly with hospital workers eating before beginning their day shift. Row after row of various colored gowns and slacks. The dull roar of conversation filled the air.

"Nothing much to tell. I told you we kissed in the hotel room. I want to be with him, but something just won't let me. So I started avoiding him. Yesterday he shows up during my office hours. We go for a walk and he asks me for a date, like a regular old dinner date. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea. He insisted that we could start from the beginning, much as you suggested on the ride over here. I told him I didn't think I was capable of starting over even if he was." Monica lowered her head and her face twisted in disgust as she sipped at her coffee.

"Go on." Henry folded his arms and encouraged Monica to continue.

"That's it. After I say no he storms off and goes tearing away in that SAAB of his. Next thing I know he's here." Monica held her hands up and turned her head about to indicate the hospital.

"What do you think is holding you back?" Henry took off his wire frame glasses and set them on the table.

"What I did with Ben's brother, I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that." Monica lowered her head to the table in frustration.

"Why? He's obviously forgiven you, otherwise why would Ben have come to Denver?" The rhetorical question drew a cross glance from Monica. Henry paused for a moment before continuing. "I think I understand what's happened between you two. I could tell you to forgive yourself, but I don't think I'm the one you need to hear that from."

Ben's parents parked their rented Chevy Lumina in the hospital parking lot just after one in the afternoon. They inquired at the reception desk and found out Ben was still in ICU. Roland arrived at the room first followed in short order by Amanda. They stood in the entrance for a moment surveying the two figures inside. Both were disheveled and obviously very tired. Monica wore a blue sweater and black pants. She was taking a nap in the chair beside the bed again, resting her head on her folded pink coat. Henry, who neither parent knew, wore a light blue polo shirt and khaki pants. "Monica." Henry whispered gently to wake her. He pointed at Amanda and Roland.

"How is he," Roland asked surveying suspiciously the mass of tubes protruding from his son. Amanda simply covered her mouth at the sight and started to weep. Monica got up and offered Amanda her chair, which she accepted.

"Doctors say he'll be fine. He has broken ribs, one of them managed to cut into his liver. That's what created all the trouble last night." Monica repeated what doctor Clair had said. "By the way this is Henry, Ben's boss at the DU newspaper."

"Pleased to meet both of you." Henry aggressively shook Roland's hand and offered Amanda a handkerchief.

"Both of you stayed here all night?" Amanda asked as she wiped her eyes.

"Yes," Monica and Henry replied together.

Amada stared at Monica for a moment. She was without makeup and her hair wasn't brushed, but she still looked stunning. "I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but thank you for staying with him."

Henry silently watched Monica continue to converse with Amanda and Roland, amazed at the blend of familiarity and tension between them. 'My god they know.' Henry's reporter instincts now told him that both Ben's parents knew exactly who Monica Young was. It was one fact she'd had failed to mention and it surprised him. For the first time Henry Phillips got a taste of the complexity of Ben and Monica's relationship.

A short time later Ben began to stir. He flexed his hands and opened his eyes. Lying almost flat, all he could see were the ceiling lights. He had no idea anyone was in the room with him until they all started to hover over him. Stunned he immediately tried to speak, but only coughed and gagged on the breathing tube. Amanda pushed the nurse call light. Shortly thereafter Ben's nurse summoned another doctor to examine Ben. No one knew it but it was the surgeon who had worked on him. The doctor conducted a quick examination and smiled at Ben, "how about we take that breathing tube out?" Ben nodded yes vigorously.

"Okay on the count of three exhale for me. 1-2-3." The doctor turned off the machine and pulled the long tube out as Ben exhaled. Ben winced as the effort sent waves of intense pain through his ribs. Just over twenty-four hours after his life had nearly ended, Ben Conner was now awake and breathing on his own. His eyes shifted between the four faces above him. Roland and Amanda were breathing heavily with relief. Henry nodded and winked. Lastly he found Monica, their eyes locked on. She wiped a tear from her eye as she smiled at him. Ben placed his hand at his throat to try and speak. "Now there's a sight worth waking up to." He squeaked it out just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Monica closed here eyes and slowly the tension of the last twenty-four hours left her body. She reached down and took Ben's hand. Roland, Amanda, and Henry were instantly reduced to the role of spectators. Watching Ben and Monica in close proximity was like watching live electrical wires. If you got them close enough you could literally see sparks of energy pass between them.

"Do you remember anything?" Monica lifted his hand and kissed it as she asked.

Ben lay quiet for a while; talking hurt and it took time to summon the will power to do so. Eventually Ben placed his other hand at his throat again, "I remember the crash, after that just voices really. Indistinct, I couldn't tell you who was talking or what they were saying." Ben winced again from the effort of speaking and closed his eyes. Soon he fell back asleep.

"Monica we should leave Roland and Amanda alone. I'll take you home for a few hours and we can come back later." Henry walked over to the chair and picked up Monica's jacket. She put the jacket on and then leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Ben's forehead. It caused him to awaken. He gazed up at those emerald green eyes and smiled. Monica gave Ben's hand a last reassuring squeeze and then her and Henry left the room.

Roland stood up and came to Ben's bedside, "Son, Sam is flying in to see you. He'll be here later this evening." Ben eyes got big. 'I can't wait to see the look on Monica's face when she finds that out.'

Henry grasped Monica's hand and lead here through the maze of corridors to exit the hospital. "I'm surprised you were so forward around his parents."

Monica stopped walking and thought for a moment. Until now she hadn't really realized just how her affection might have looked. She just shrugged her shoulders though and gave a sexy, dismissive grin. 'They know who I am, and I don't care what they think.'

Henry read Monica's body language perfectly. He turned his head to one side and mouthed the word wow as he took Monica's hand again. The two resumed walking, "Ben is a lucky boy, in more ways than one." Henry looked down at Monica who gave absolutely sinful smile.


	12. Turn a Corner Hit a Tree

**Ch 12: Turn a Corner; Hit a Tree**

Long before Sam arrived Ben was removed from the ICU and transferred to a normal room. The chest tube was taken out and he was no longer hooked up to a heart monitor. Only the IV in his arm and the dull ache of his ribs served to remind Ben of what had happened to him. The green ICU room had been replaced with a pink one. Ben occupied the bed nearest the door, and the second bed was empty. A cheap pine shelf ran high around the wall opposite the beds, and two TV's on metal supports stuck out from the same wall. Amanda had turned Ben's TV on and spent the afternoon watching soaps. Ben himself alternated between wakefulness and drug induced sleep through the afternoon.

Ben hadn't seen his brother since the disaster with Miss Young back in Seattle. It was a wound time had yet to heal. As Roland left to meet Sam at the airport, Ben was awake again and began contemplating what a disaster the whole thing could turn into. Sam, and Monica, and Ben's parents all in the same cramped hospital room could indeed be a most dangerous mix. Miss Young and Henry had said they'd come back later. It was way too much to hope for Sam and Monica to simply miss one another. Although Ben found himself hoping against hope for that possibility at the moment.

Ben also wondered how he'd react when he saw Sam. After all he'd never really forgiven his brother. Yet a third element of this most dangerous cocktail was the fact that Sam had no knowledge of the events that had transpired in Seattle after he'd left. And lastly of course there were Ben's parents, who had no knowledge of Monica's affair with Sam.

Roland picked up Sam from the airport and brought him to the hospital just after five in the evening. He stepped into Ben's room wearing a skintight black tee shirt and blue jeans, which were held up by an alligator skin belt. "Hey little brother, sorry about your wheels." Roland, Amanda and Ben all exchanged looks of annoyance. It was so like Sam to mention the car first.

"Nice to see you too Sam." Ben rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"You know if you want to see me there are better ways than this." Sam rubbed Ben's hair.

"Ouch, stop that damn it." Ben shifted in bed to avoid his brother's assault, which sent pain through his ribs.

"Alright Sam that's enough his ribs are broken for heavens sake." Roland rose and grabbed hold of Sam's arm, ushering him to a chair.

"Yeah I did all of this just to see you." Ben replied annoyed. He motioned toward his chest and legs. "So how is life in Portland?" Ben nervously changed the subject. Feeling powerless as he awaited the explosion he felt was inevitable.

Henry's corvette appeared outside Monica's campus apartment again. She got in and they drove first to the Volkswagen dealership where her bug had been repaired. From there they set off toward the hospital, Monica leading in her bug and Henry following. By most standards Monica Young drove fast and loose, but to a Chevy Corvette the pace seemed outrageously slow. Both cars pulled into the hospital parking lot about half an hour after Roland had arrived with Sam.

Monica called out loudly as she rounded the corner into the hospital room, "Ben, Ben I brought you something. It's." Monica froze and dropped the plastic bag upon seeing Sam. Her immediate thought was to turn and leave. Instead, she stood just outside the doorframe as if in a trance. For once here eyes locked on someone other than Ben.

Sam was surprised also. He looked her up and down. She wore a white blouse and pink skirt. Her hair was down and pulled back behind her ears. Sam rose from the chair and flashed her a coy smile. Monica looked down, her eyes darted from side to side looking for something, anything to focus on.

"How rude of us, Miss Young this is Ben's brother Sam." Roland's tone was friendly as he walked toward Monica and extended a hand to Ben's older brother.

"We know each other," both Monica and Sam answered in unison. She cringed almost as she said it. It was a reflex action neither could prevent. Upon hearing it Ben reached up and pulled his pillow out from behind his head and placed it over the top of his face. 'Maybe I can just smother myself.'

"How?" Amanda ground her teeth as she asked. Neither answered, Monica wanted to leave but it was like her feet were stuck in concrete.

Moments later Henry rounded the corner carrying a soda and candy bar. He saw Monica standing outside the room. "Hey are they working on Ben, what's up?" The attention at least caused Monica to turn toward Henry and away from the circus unfolding in the hospital room. However the brief stroke of luck wouldn't last.

Sam rose, shimmied provocatively toward Monica and winked at her. "Hey baby, this is a hospital, there has to be lots of closets around. What say find one and catch up." The line was more about keeping up appearances than genuine interest.

Monica clenched her teeth and slapped Sam as he approached. In anger Ben mustered the strength to sit up slightly and throw his pillow at Sam. "How in the hell could you do that to me, for a third time." Ben actually managed to shout but was immediately restrained by his broken ribs. He began to cough blood as he collapsed back in bed.

Amanda screamed at the sight and a nurse came running in. She immediately got a new pillow from a closet and made Ben comfortable again. "Son you have broken ribs you can't be thrashing around. And the rest of you, keep it down in here or I'll have to ask you to leave." The nurse bumped Monica as she exited.

"You seduced both our children, didn't you?" Roland joined the fray. The brief interruption with the nurse had given him time to process the conversation.

Monica only nodded and started to cry. Ben was trying desperately to speak but was still writhing in pain. Amanda and Roland sat across from Sam and Monica, stammering with rage. Sam was thinking about nothing except his own damaged ego and didn't speak. Henry had moved next to Monica and watched the exchange silently. His quick mind had saved him once again. He recalled his conversations Monica and immediately guessed who Sam was. The powder keg was about to explode when Henry stepped in. "All right. Sam, Monica why don't we take a walk. Let's just separate for awhile and everyone cool their jets."

"No. I want Monica to stay." Ben finally had the energy to speak.

"Okay. Sam c'mon I'll buy you a soda." Henry motioned with two fingers for Ben's brother to follow.

Ben closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, again it hurt him. "Mom, dad if you give me a moment I think I can explain this." Ben started coughing again after he spoke.

"No, I will." Monica said it sternly as she picked up the shopping bag and advanced into the room. Ben tried to speak again but Monica cut him off. "Quiet Ben, just rest. I'll handle this."

Roland and Amanda crossed their arms and snorted consent to hearing Monica out. "Ben and I, the attraction is very real. I think even you two have seen that by now. But it wasn't enough to overcome all the sneaking around we had to do back in Seattle. Ben broke it off with me, or at least he tried to. I didn't accept it. When he did break it off, our relationship, and that's absolutely what it was Mrs. Conner, a relationship, turned to suffering." Monica paused and surveyed each parent. There was still anger, but no judgment. "Ben and I denigrated into a sort of hurting contest. He started dating Sue and flaunting her in my face. I in turn seduced Sam to make Ben jealous."

Amanda mouthed the words oh my god and threw up her arms in disbelief. Roland lowered his head and rubbed his temples. "So that's why he was so mad at Sam." Roland nodded toward Ben.

"Yes. I used Sam twice trying to get back at Ben. That's why he said this was the third time when Sam hit on me just now." Monica exhaled as she continued searching for a reaction. Now Ben's parents knew everything that had transpired between them. She had literally just placed her future in their hands.

"I can't even begin to get my head around this. What are we going to do?" Amanda looked at her husband as she spoke.

"You're not going to do anything." Ben interrupted the conversation.

"What," Amanda and Roland responded together?

"Mom, dad, I love her. She's the reason I came to Denver both of you know that. Everything she said is right. We did all of that to each other. In spite of all of it I'm here anyway." Ben turned away from his parents and locked Monica with his chocolate eyes. "Monica I forgive you for Sam. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive him, but I forgive you."

Monica closed her eyes and let out a sigh. Once again Ben had said the exact right thing, at the exact right moment. Roland got up and shoved his hands in his pants pockets. He started pacing the room, but then he looked at the ceiling and actually began chuckling. "Lady, for a masters student, your decisions aren't too bright. But I wish I had one tenth of your backbone."

"Wait a minute you're actually buying this?" Roland's wife protested.

"Look Amanda, look at them." Monica was holding Ben's hand with both of hers and resting her chin on top her hands. The two were just staring into each other's eyes. "That is not a monster, or a pedophile. That is a woman who genuinely loves our son."

Amanda let out a deep breath and continued watching Ben and Monica. They never moved. By now Henry and Sam had come back into the room but no one noticed them. After several minutes Amanda finally rose from her chair and tapped Monica on the shoulder. "Roland and I are only going to be here for five days. Ben is going to be in this hospital a lot longer than that. I'm going to trust you to take care of Ben."

Monica lifted her head and batted her eyes at Amanda. "I will." She looked back at Ben, still grasping his hand she nestled it beneath her chin again. "I will."

"Yo, little brother." Ben and Monica both turned their heads and glared intensely at Sam. "Hang on to her boy, they don't make em like that anymore." It was a phrase Sam often used when describing his car. However in this instance it was the greatest compliment Ben's egotistical brother was capable of, and Ben got the message. Roland, Amanda, Henry, and Sam all silently watched the two lovers continue to stare at one another.

The peace was interrupted when another figure entered the room. "Oh my god." Henry whispered to no one in particular. Sam's smile was so beaming he covered his mouth to hide it. The figure was even enough to make Ben avert his gaze from Monica.

A supermodel in navy blue hospital garb strode into the room and over to Ben's bedside. She was around the same age and maybe an inch or two taller than Miss Young. With wavy, strawberry blonde hair that came down to her shoulders, ocean blue eyes, flawless tan skin, and curves to induce a heart attack. "Hi I'm Andrea, and you must be Ben." She shook his free hand. Ben actually moaned slightly at her touch. "I'm your physical therapist Ben. I'm here to make sure you don't have any muscle problems as a result of all the laying around."

Roland placed his hands on top of his head and looked at the ceiling. Turn a corner; hit a tree he mouthed to himself. Monica clenched her teeth and snorted loudly.

"That lucky son of a bitch." Sam whispered to Henry while staring at the therapist.

"So you're here to work me out huh?" Ben said it in a seductive voice.

"That's right." Andrea smiled and winked at him.

Ben lay back into his pillow, a sinful smile on his face. 'Oh baby, bend me shape me any way you want me.' Monica continued snorting breaths and she began to growl through her clenched teeth.


	13. The Monica Young Variation of the French...

**Ch 13: The Monica Young Variation of the French Defense **

"He's mine, damn it." Monica Young screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Over my dead body." Andrea the therapist lunged toward Monica Young.

Andrea tackled Monica onto the small, single bed on the left side of Ben's dorm. Monica rolled to one side and forcibly broke the clench. The two women righted themselves and squatted on their knees on top of Ben's bed. They faced one another and stared like angry beasts. Monica lunged toward Andrea, grabbing her hospital gown from the back, just below the shoulder. Andrea reached around behind Monica and did the same to her blue sweater. Ben sat in a folding chair on the opposite side from the bed and placed his feet up on the desk Denver University had provided for him. He watched the scene unfolding on his bed intently. As the women pulled and grappled, each managed to lift the other's shirt over their heads. The fighting paused long enough for each woman to take their arms out and jettison the shirts to the floor. Ben tipped his chair back slightly and held his breath at seeing the two. He was surprised to see each woman wore a lacy black bra. Andrea lunged at Monica again and the wrestling resumed.

"Ladies, ladies. As much as a man might enjoy having two beautiful women fight over him, something is missing." Ben rose from his chair and stepped toward the bed.

"What might that be?" Monica asked in her sexiest voice. Both women stopped wrestling and faced Ben with beaming smiles.

"Well the wrestling is great, but girls, there just isn't enough hair flying around." Ben now had a small camcorder in his hand and was recording the two women on the bed.

"Maybe we can fix that, if you join us." The girls said it in unison as they each reached toward Ben. Both seized an arm and pulled him onto the bed with them. Before he knew it Ben was laying flat on the mattress with Monica laying on top of his left side and Andrea his right. The camera was laying in pieces on the floor. The two girls each lifted their heads and shook them to make their hair sashay around like he'd wanted. "Oh man, a guy could get used to this, oooooh." Ben moaned as both women started to kiss the sides of his neck.

"Breakfast." A male orderly slammed the tray on the table midway down Ben's hospital bed. Ben awoke with a start, and slapped his forehead with his right hand. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but the fantasy was ruined. Ben angrily jammed his thumb against the up button on the console beside him. He pulled the wheeled table closer and unveiled his food. Shaking his head he took a bite of flavorless scrambled eggs.

Ben had now resided in this hospital bed for almost three weeks. Both his shins were still in hard casts but his ribs had healed at least to the point he felt comfortable sitting up. Without family near the recovery was terribly boring. As he ate Ben contemplated the lurid fantasy he'd just had. He was sure most of it came from boredom. Henry and Monica both visited him frequently. Henry tended to visit in the afternoons and would take his leave when Monica would show up in the evenings. In fact Monica took her promise to Ben's parents so seriously she looked after him like a hawk. Most nights she brought Ben food so he wouldn't have to eat the disgusting stuff the hospital served. Not that hers was much of an improvement, but it was thoughtful. She also brought playing cards or board games to pass the time. Still he and Monica had remained somewhat distant from each other.

Most of that Ben knew was jealously over Andrea. To spite the musings of his subconscious, he had no romantic interest in her. The connection was simply one of presence. Andrea made Ben walk the halls on crutches every day as well as perform a series of exercises from his bed. In short, Andrea was a distraction, and distractions were something Ben Conner had come to appreciate above all else because they helped pass the time. The fact that Andrea got to have her hands all over him as part of her job was beside the point, at least to him. Monica on the other hand, she was well, Monica. Convincing her nothing was going on was about as easy as say pulling the tooth of a hungry lion. The thought aggravated Ben because he really thought he and Monica would start making progress after the near disaster of Sam's visit.

It was mid December now which meant cold and snow for the Denver area. Frost covered the window of Ben's hospital room. As he finished his tasteless meal Ben anticipated nothing special about this particular Friday. Just after breakfast Andrea appeared to put him through his paces. She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail and today she wore a white smock over her uniform. He got up and scooted himself to the edge of the bed. She handed him his crutches from the corner and he reluctantly got up on them. "Okay I want six laps today." She ordered as she smiled at him.

Ben rolled his eyes. Outside his room the white tile floored hallway looped in a square around the nurses station. Six laps meant Andrea expected Ben to mount his crutches and pogo his way around the square six times. He mounted the crutches and began doing as he was told. "I'm not sure I can do six yet," he replied. Ben's muscles really had atrophied and the workout itself was hard. Even with the eye candy present.

There may have been nothing special about this Friday for Ben Conner, but the same was not true of Monica. While he was eating breakfast and receiving his daily workout, she sat in one the classrooms at UC Boulder. She was proctoring the final exam for Journalism 100. In two hours her work would end for the semester, and she'd be free until after the holidays. Monica faced the terraced rows of grey tables in front of her and began passing out the exam. When she finished she seated herself on a stool at the front of the room. Ben didn't know it, but Monica shared his frustration over their relationship. She thought things might move forward as well. The difference was she had a plan. As the class began filling in bubble sheets, Monica opened a book on her lap: The Art of War by Sun Tzu. She began skimming the quotes of the ancient Chinese philosopher quietly, but still out loud. "All warfare is based on deception. …The battle is won or lost before it is ever fought. …Cleverness has never been associated with long delays. …To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." Monica closed the book and smiled wickedly. 'I can do that.'

Try as he might, Ben simply couldn't take a liking to soaps. He was sitting up in his hospital bed flipping channels on his TV when the familiar form of Monica Young appeared in his room, much earlier than usual. It was cold outside and Monica blew on her hands after she took her gloves off. The next part Ben had always loved, she took off her long black winter coat to reveal her outfit. To Ben it was like opening treasure. Today's treasure was a white spaghetti strap top, a burgundy sweater with a plunging neckline, and form fitting black pants. Her hair was hanging loose at her shoulders and swayed seductively as she walked. She draped the coat on the back of the chair nearest Ben and walked over to the room door and closed it.

She'd never done that before. Ben was hit with the smallest sensation of fear as he watched her. He felt like he was a part of something she had pre-planned, and he had no control over. Ben was so busy watching Monica he hadn't noticed the objects she'd carried in with her, a laptop computer and a narrow red cardboard box. She smiled kindly at him as she moved the items and sat down next to him. "I'm free, proctored my last exam at nine this morning." Monica pinched Ben's cheek with her still cold hand. "Hey you're dressed."

Ben jumped at her touch. "Jeez you're cold. Yeah I am it's the outfit you bought for me." Ben opened his arms as if to reveal himself. It was the gift Monica had given him the same day she confronted his parents and Sam. She'd bought a shirt and jeans to replace the ones the paramedics had cut to shreds after his accident. He wasn't wearing the jeans because they wouldn't fit over the casts around his shins. But he wore the shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. It was the yellow and red striped button down he'd worn the same day he'd lost his virginity in the supply room. Monica looked him over and was actually slightly disappointed with the clothing. There was just something that made Ben look so cute and helpless in a hospital gown, which he didn't have anymore. "Yeah after Andrea put me through my paces this morning my nurse asked if I wanted to get dressed. So here I am, thanks for the clothes by the way." Ben continued, but his stomach tightened as he mentioned Andrea.

Ben sat in his raised bed waiting for jealous Monica to explode on him. Instead she just smiled seductively. "I'll make you forget all about your therapist, with a little therapy of my own." Monica responded in her sexiest voice.

Ben's face swung from fear to curiosity. "Monica Young I just mentioned another woman and you are calm, cool, collected. What have you got up your sleeve?"

Monica picked up the red cardboard box from beside the chair and opened it. Inside was a children's chess set. She unfolded the red and black cardboard battlefield and placed it on Ben's table tray. She took the small plastic pieces out of the box in handfuls and placed them on top of the board. Without thinking Ben began to set them up at the proper starting position. When the operation was finished Ben gently pushed the table tray out and sat up on the edge of the bed. Monica adjusted her chair so she was directly opposite Ben. They both looked up and their eyes met, memories of three years ago in Ben's house flooding back to them. Monica had the black pieces in front of her and Ben the white. "Let's play," she said with a smirk.

"I'd play with you anytime." Ben continued the innuendo. Ben thrust the pawn in front of his king forward two squares.

Monica wordlessly grabbed the pawn in front of her king, but she pushed it forward only one square. "A special variation I've worked out." Monica interlaced her fingers and rested her chin on top of them, elbows planted on the edges of the table tray. A beaming smile on her face, she waited for Ben to process the message.

Ben batted his eyes at the move; he hadn't taught her this particular opening so he was surprised she knew it. "French defense," Ben finally announced, puzzled.

"It certainly is." Monica stood up and leaned over the table, seizing Ben's lips with hers. Her tongue slid into his mouth as he leaned forward and put a hand on the side of her head. Ben stroked her silky hair and she placed a hand at the back of his neck to pull him closer. Both leaned their heads in hard and resisted the others movements. The kiss lasted an eternity, lips parting only long enough so each could breath and then sloshing back together again. Ben thanked his lucky stars he was wearing loose fitting sweatpants instead of the hospital gown. Monica finally broke the kiss and nudged her nose against his before sitting back down.

"Okay I love this new variation." Ben moved the pawn in front of his queen but only one square. It wasn't a good move, but Ben wasn't thinking straight. "How'd I get so lucky?"

Monica thought for a moment and moved the pawn in front of her queen bishop two squares forward (it was the best way to take advantage on Ben's timid second move.). "You risked everything coming here for me, and you forgave me." She stood again and gave another French kiss. "I guess I just needed to hear it from you. By the way I forgive you too. For Sue." Monica sat back down again smiling. 'Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.'

Monica's plan was successful, any resistance left between her and Ben was already broken. Ben's head was swimming so much he could hardly remember his own name, let alone play chess. He began making random moves, not caring at all about strategy or the game's outcome. Monica continued making moves as well, and kissing Ben every time she did. The battle was extremely short. "Checkmate," Monica announced victoriously after only eleven moves.

Ben surveyed the final position for a moment, shaking his head. "I need to learn this new variation." As he said it he shoved the table tray out from between him and Monica, the board and pieces went flying. He grabbed her with one arm and pulled her to him while wrapping the other around her waist. He slid back into his bed and pulled her on top of him. Monica was extremely careful of Ben's ribs as she climbed on top of the bed and straddled him. She was on her knees, legs wrapped around his waist. Ben let go of her arm and cupped her neck, pulling her in for another kiss. However she pulled back, "Ah Ben, you do realize hospital doors don't lock." Her eyes darted over to the closed door.

"Risk I'll have to take." He turned her head back toward him. Their eyes met and locked on.

"Well then, the variation goes something like this." Monica smiled and leaned forward. Their lips met again. As the kissing continued Monica pressed her thumb against the controls on the side of Ben's bed. Slowly the upper half of Ben's bed slid downward taking both of them with it. Both laughed gently when the bed hit bottom because Monica had to place her hands on the mattress to keep from collapsing on top of Ben's injured chest. This inadvertently caused the kiss to break.

"Since when did this place become a bordello?" Henry asked as he opened the door. Monica practically vaulted off of Ben and over the bed rail upon hearing his voice. Ben winced in pain as he scrambled to grab the blanket at the foot of the bed and hide his, ahem interest. "Please don't stop on my account," Henry quipped with a sly grin. He closed the door behind him as he entered. Once covered Ben threw his head back into the pillow, laughing. Monica on the other hand was not at all pleased. She quickly straightened her clothes and hair, before crossing her arms and glaring at Henry. The grandfather simply removed his tan trench coat and sat down.

"Hi Henry, I just have to say that your timing really sucks." Monica's eyes could have burned through lead.

"There, there my jealous little angel." Ben sat up again and rubbed Monica's cheek with his hand.

"I'm jealous, of what, him." Monica shot a hand toward Henry.

"You're jealous of everything. It's a character flaw, and I find it irresistible." Ben pulled her down onto his lap and brushed his lips against hers. Monica shook her head and made a face. 'You're right Ben but you don't have to say it.'

"Would you rather it have been one of the hospital staff?" Henry rejoined the conversation.

"I rather it have been no one at all. I was enjoying what we were doing." Monica growled.

"So was I." The grandfather laced his fingers behind his head and let out a deep laugh.

"Keep it up." Monica threatened.

"He is." Henry continued with his rolling laughter while nodding toward Ben.

Monica put her head down to cover it, but even she began laughing. 'I can't believe I walked into that a second time.' What could have turned into an angry moment instead dissolved into a friendly one. "Must have been some party." Henry commented motioning toward the board and chess pieces scattered everywhere.

"Hey that reminds me." Monica snapped her fingers and picked up her laptop. She logged in and opened her bookmark for Yahoo chess. "Let's see if he's on, ah ha. Ben I want you to crush this guy for me."

She handed Ben her laptop. His eyes surveyed the cyberspace board. He laughed uncontrollably when he saw Monica's screen name, but his face quickly fell. "Monica, by ratings this guy is better than me. Besides my confidence is lacking, I was beaten recently." Ben jokingly made a sad face at Monica; in reality his confidence could not have been better. Or so he thought.

Monica put her arms around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "So you need a boost of confidence huh?" She cupped her hands around his ear. "If you win, when you're healthy enough we'll…"

Henry leaned forward in his chair trying to hear the whispering but he could not. Ben's eyes lit up with a wild and ravenous light. To spite being rated over 300 points better than Wet Hot Fire Starting Queen, jeff4bigred was utterly destroyed in under ten minutes.

"What did you say to him?" Henry finally had to ask as he watched Ben finish the game.

Monica turned and grinned, "Sorry Henry, this ride may not be suitable for young children, those with heart problems, or the elderly."


	14. What She Said

**Ch14: What She Said**

"Freedom, god bless freedom." Ben shouted to his empty hospital room. The casts had been cut off his shins the day before and he was able to walk with the aid of a single crutch. Ben was in an unbelievable mood after being able to shower and dress himself for the first time in over a month. It was now the week after New Years 2008, and Ben would finally get to leave University Hospital.

The holidays had been surprisingly good for Ben. Roland and Amanda had flown back from Seattle to spend Christmas with him. Henry and Miss Young had shown up as well. Thanks to savings from his editing job Ben even had a little money to spend on them. The group had all exchanged gifts in Ben's room. In fact Ben was wearing Monica's gift, a gold Pulsar watch. He'd gotten her a pair of hiking boots. His father had picked them out, but Ben paid for them. Although Monica tried to be gracious, it was obvious she didn't really approve of them. That was okay with Ben though because he knew there was a purpose behind them.

Henry's visits had waned recently because he was fighting a flu he just couldn't seem to get over. But he'd bought food baskets for everyone, and Ben had gotten him a new pen set for his desk. The thing that had made the time most pleasant however was the companionship of the group. Most of the tension between Monica and Ben's parents had disappeared. She'd been a good caretaker for their injured son and that made it impossible to hold any lingering feelings of hostility. In a moment alone Roland had even asked his son how things were going with Monica. Ben had just stayed silent because he wasn't sure of the answer himself. What Monica had whispered in Ben's ear the day she and Ben had almost gotten back together (before Henry had accidentally prevented it) was that she'd go on a real date with him. As he sat on the edge of his bed awaiting his formal release, Ben hoped that a real date would eradicate the last of the distance between him and Monica.

Ben wore a solid blue button down, and pair of black jeans. He flipped through the channels on his TV while waiting for Monica to pick him up. She showed up right on time carrying his winter coat and hiking boots. Monica wore her winter coat as well and that bright pink lipstick Ben loved so much. They sat together on the corner of his bed while a nurse read his discharge papers. Monica listened more intently to the instructions than Ben did. Ben slid his boots on his feet and then put his coat on: at long last his stay came to its formal end. "Ready to go?" Monica got off the bed and extended her arms to help Ben into the wheelchair the nurse had provided. He hated the idea of being treated like a cripple, but the hospital had rules. Monica took up station at the handles and readied to push Ben to freedom, but she was interrupted.

"I'll do that," Andrea the therapist said in a cheerful voice. She leaned against the doorframe in her navy uniform. "So you finally get to go home, congratulations." Andrea advanced to the wheelchair and bent down, giving Ben a huge hug. He twisted uncomfortably in the chair, trying to accept the hug and turn to see Monica's reaction at the same time.

"No, I want to do it." Monica's green eyes burned furiously at Andrea's deep blue ones. Ben felt as if he was suddenly in the middle of a fight between two big cats.

"Sorry hun, hospital rules, a staffer has to walk him out." Andrea forced her way behind Ben and took the handles.

"I want to thank you for helping me get strong again." Ben tried to restore order as Andrea started pushing. She was in great shape and Monica could hardly keep up with her long strides as she wheeled him through the corridors toward the elevator. Ben turned and awkwardly grabbed Monica's hand as she jogged beside him. After an elevator ride down to the first floor, Andrea pushed Ben out the revolving front doors of the hospital. It was cold enough for him to see his breath, but he inhaled deeply his first breath of fresh air. The sky was completely gray, the air was damp, and there was little sun but to Ben it was wonderful just to see the outside world again. In fact he was so lost in his own happiness that he didn't notice the catfight had resumed behind him.

"Okay we're outside now. I'll take him to my car," Monica spoke sternly. Ben felt the chair suddenly tip up on one wheel as Miss Young wrestled and shouldered Andrea out from behind it. He grabbed the hand rests for balance but then just chuckled, the yellow bug was maybe ten feet from where they were. Still Monica had to win the argument, and be the one pushing at the end. Ben picked himself up out of the chair and got into the bug without assistance. Monica slammed his door shut and circled to the driver's side.

"Okay lets see." Monica got in and situated herself. She quietly and quickly mouthed the word please as she put the key in the ignition. Ben was surprised to see her press the accelerator four times before turning it. The bug roared to life loudly with the extra gas given. Ben quickly remembered what kind of driver she was as the tires screeched and he was thrown back in his seat with sudden acceleration. Ben relaxed though and enjoyed watching the world go by on the ride to his dorm. After several moments of silence Ben finally spoke.

"So this date we're going on." He turned away from the window and looked at her.

"Yes." Monica kept her eyes forward.

"So I ah, had a thought." Monica nodded for him to keep going. "Since this is the last weekend before I start my first semester all over again (he taken incompletes for his course work at DU). I was thinking maybe we could spend it together. This is Friday; my plan is we'll go on whatever date you have planned tonight. Saturday we can go on a date that I have planned." Ben folded his arms and stared at the dashboard waiting for her answer.

"Ben are you sure you feel up to all that?" Monica looked at him momentarily.

"I'm fine, as long as you don't want me to play a hockey game or something."

"Well there may just be some physical contact." Monica winked. "Ben there are so many things I want to say to you. Maybe these dates will give me a chance."

"It'll give us a chance." Ben corrected. "So where are we going?"

Monica pulled to the curb in front of the building containing Ben's dorm. She thought for a moment before answering. "Some place where we won't be interrupted. Bring along some swim trunks."

Ben was immediately intrigued and excited. Monica circled the bug and opened his door for him. She also served as spotter while he hobbled up the steps on his crutch. When at the top he took her hand and led her to his room. "This is it." Ben held his hands up and then slapped his thighs.

"Cozy, so is mine" Monica replied, sitting on the bed and looking around.

Ben opened the large cabinet at the end of the desk and began rummaging through its contents. "Hey Monica, under the bed is a suit case could you grab it for me?"

Monica squatted and pulled the black Sampsonite out. She set it on the bed and zipped it open. Almost immediately Ben began throwing clothes from the cabinet across the room toward the suitcase. Some landed in the case, some on the bed, most on the floor short of their target.

"Ben we're only going to be gone for two days." Monica dodged flying articles of clothing as she said it.

"For my date we'll need this, and this, and this, and this, oh and this too." Ben's head was still buried in the cabinet; he was talking to himself more than Miss Young. Suddenly the stream of clothing ended and a series of camping equipment took its place. A sleeping bag, air mattress, lantern, small kerosene heater, extra blankets, a hiking pack, and other gear now occupied the isle between Ben's desk and bed. The ultra neat Ben Conner had made a royal mess of his room. Miss Young surveyed the debris and smiled. Taking it as a testimony to how excited her boyfriend was.

It took over an hour to pack Ben's things. He collected and stowed the camping gear while she meticulously folded his clothes and put them in the suitcase. On the return trip to the car Monica had to carry the hiking pack. The little yellow bug's trunk and backseat were loaded full between Monica and Ben's suitcases as well as all the camping gear. Monica slammed the trunk shut and took her place behind the wheel. "Where are we going?" Ben asked again as Monica pulled into traffic.

"Someplace private, that's all I'll say." Monica reached over and squeezed his hand. As they drove Ben began to remember Washington and how much he liked just driving around with her. Ben didn't want to tell Monica because she seemed so happy lately, but Denver still didn't feel like home to him. Monica drove the bug toward the glass and steel skyscrapers that defined downtown Denver. The ride took about an hour. She pulled to the curb again in front of an old, triangular building. It was a brown brick, Victorian with nine floors and white awnings above the entrance. The white letters above the awning declared this to be: The Brown Palace Hotel. A valet in a burgundy uniform and hat with white gloves greeted them, opening Ben's door for him. Once the valet had the couple's luggage he snapped his fingers and a parking attendant appeared. The attendant was a man used to parking Mercedes and Cadillacs so he stared rudely at the bug for a moment. However, Monica ended his resistance with a tip and an icy stare. "Your luggage will be taken to your room sir, ma'am. Go ahead and check in" The valet bowed and tipped his hat toward Monica as she handed him still more money.

The lobby was unlike anything either had ever seen and both turned their heads left and right in wonder. A two tiered, ornate yellow chandelier lit the place. The floor was yellow marble, and in the center of the lobby was a series of leather benches sitting atop a dark Persian rug. Next to that was a cascading waterfall of champagne glasses, perhaps fifteen feet high. The woodwork was exquisite, maple banisters lined the staircases and the registration desk was solid walnut. Everything was polished and buffed to a mirror shine. Ben and Monica could see their reflections in the floor as they walked hand in hand to the registration desk. "We'd like one room for the night please," Monica cheerfully told the clerk. She handed him her credit card.

The clerk accepted the card and began banging away at his computer. "Okay just the one night, looks like your total is going to be 335.75. Let me just get an authorization on this card."

'Holy Shit.' Ben nearly dropped his crutch and fell at hearing the total. The clerk completed the authorization and handed Monica two credit card room keys: room 316. The clerk pointed them to the glass elevators across the way. On the ride to the third floor Ben began to protest. "Monica this is too much. My date isn't going to be anything compared to this." His voice showed how inadequate he suddenly felt.

"Sssish, this is my date Ben Conner and you will enjoy it. Besides I'm sure we'll have fun on yours too. Did you know three former Presidents have stayed here?" Monica smiled and winked at Ben. As the elevator stopped he took one last look at the lobby before getting off.

Room 316 did not disappoint either. It was actually three rooms. The bedroom and study were carpeted in reddish pink. There was an oak desk and coffee table in the study. The bed was king size and had a bedspread the same color as the carpet. There were three comfortable looking cloth chairs located around the bed. The walls were painted eggshell white. The bathroom was floored with black and grey marble tiles and it had both a shower and a tub. Now Ben understood why he needed swim trunks.

Monica took off her coat, revealing Ben's daily treasure. She wore her blue sweater and black knee length skirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. "So what shall we do?" Monica sat on the edge of the bed and patted for Ben to join him.

"What say we try out that bath, hot tub, thingy?" Ben answered excitedly.

"Okay but first I have another surprise for you." She smiled sweetly.

"Oh Monica." Ben protested.

"Don't make me tell you to shut up again. Now get in there and start running the water." Monica snapped her orders as she pointed to the bathroom.

Ben did as he was told. He grabbed his swim trunks from the suitcase and disappeared into the bathroom. Once he was out of sight Monica grabbed the ice bucket from the study and exited the room. Ben took off his pants and boxers and slid into his dark blue swim trunks. He began running the water as hot as he could get it. Then he took his shirt off. As he looked at himself in the mirror he saw the scar from his surgery on the left side of his abdomen. It was a permanent reminder of what had happened to him, and it made him self-conscious. Ben turned the water slightly colder, so as not to scald himself, and climbed in the tub. He activated the water jets to make it a hot tub and waited for Monica.

She made him wait an eternity. After she'd retrieved the ice she changed into her bathing suit in the bedroom. Then she unzipped her suitcase and took out a bottle of champagne she'd stowed. She pushed it down into the ice bucket and lastly covered herself with one of the hotel's white terry cloth robes. Monica came into the room carrying the tray with the ice bucket, champagne, and glasses. She set them down on the counter and uncorked the bottle while Ben watched. The bottle exploded running all over her hands. It was a phallic symbol that was not lost on Ben as he watched it. Monica turned towards him and smiled. The white robe contrasted with her dark hair and eyes was enough to drive Ben crazy, let alone what was underneath it. She sauntered over towards him slowly, twirling the belt of the robe as she did. She propped a leg up on the edge of the tub, revealing it. Ben was simply mesmerized and couldn't do anything but stare at her.

"From the looks of things that water may not be hot enough." Monica joked, as she covered up again.

"No, it's, it's wonderful." Ben had to force himself to speak.

"Oh so you do remember how to talk." Monica sat down on the edge of the tub. She still hadn't taken the robe off.

Ben's body tensed. 'If you make me wait one more second to see what's under that thing I just may snap.' "Well ture I can shalk. I, I, moan, I mean, ah, blah." Ben got tongue tied because she stood up and removed the robe. The suit was a one piece, light blue above the chest, black beneath it. The hips were cut high and showed off her legs incredibly. The light blue also highlighted her tan skin, as well as the darkness of her eyes and hair. She slowly placed a foot in the tub and kicked some water at Ben. A grunt was all Ben could manage to respond with.

Monica filled the two glasses with champagne and climbed in. She handed one to Ben. He took a sip and set the glass on the edge of the tub, Monica did the same. She allowed herself to kind of float over to him. He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her to him. She was on her knees again, legs wrapped around his waist. Ben placed one hand on her warm, soft hip as she pulled him in for a long kiss. That pink lipstick tasted as good as ever. After the kiss broke Ben managed to speak. "Monica, I can't even begin to express how wonderful this is."

Monica placed her finger on Ben's lips to close them. "Ben I did all this because I wanted to let you know how I feel. With the exception of what Henry interrupted, I've been pushing you away. You came over a thousand miles and made a new home for yourself all because you wanted to be with me." Ben cringed because he knew some small part of that wasn't true. Monica ignored Ben's apprehension and kept right on going. "So I'm going to tell you now once and for all, that I want this. I want us. I want this relationship to go as far as we can possibly make it go. I love you Ben Conner. But if you freak on me anymore." Her voice was soft and playful even though the finger that had held Ben's lips was now wagging accusingly in front of him. She swam herself away from him.

"I Love you to Monica, and I want this also." Ben's eyes stared right at hers, pleading for her to return. She took another sip of champagne and playfully slid the straps of her swimsuit off her shoulders. Ben did the same slowly working his trunks off his waist. Monica used the water to shield herself from view as she removed her suit. She held it up and twirled it around the finger of her left hand. Finally she flung it; the suit hit the floor with a wet slap. Ben held his swim trunks high above his head, and then he flung them next to her suit. It took another eternity for her to float back towards him. As she got close again he grabbed her by the hips, and she leaned in and kissed him. They felt each other's warmth as slowly, and gently their bodies tangled. Monica pushed forward and drove Ben back to the edge of the tub. Both held their breath as they connected. He held her by the waist, and she placed her arms around the back of his shoulders. They kissed passionately and made love in the bubbling water.

Monica got out of the tub first and started to dry herself. Ben followed a short time later. Wrapping the towel he used to dry off about his waist. Monica hung the robe about her shoulders but she didn't tie it. She clutched the robe shut with one hand and seized Ben's with the other. "I want to go swimming again. In that sea of covers on the bed. As she led Ben out of the bathroom he pinned her against the doorframe. He tried to kiss her but she slithered out of the pin and continued toward the bed. The robe fell off as she moved, causing Ben to hold his breath again. She climbed under the covers and waited for him to join her. He let the towel drop as he slid into his side of the bed. The wrestling match to see who would be on top came next. Ben won it and pinned her against the mattress. He drew the covers in a cocoon around them. Monica laughed slightly as his brown eyes stared down at her. "Round two." She said gently, smiling at him. However some force of nature made Ben look away and pull back. "What's wrong," she asked, stroking his face.

"It's just, nothing, I love you." He didn't have the courage to say it right now. Ben stroked her bangs with his fingers. Once again his chocolate eyes found and locked her emeralds. He gave her a long look to make sure this is what she wanted. Satisfied, Ben grabbed her leg and folded it around his waist. He leaned in and the kissing resumed, they made love again.

Hours later it was all over, Ben lay awake in the middle of the night. He held Monica and watched her as she slept. He gently stroked her shoulder. Ben couldn't believe it, but even after all she'd done and said tonight, there was a tiny something still bothering him. He knew what it was, and that he didn't yet have the courage to voice it, and that was keeping him awake.


	15. What He Said

**Ch 15: What He Said**

"Ben, wake up sweetie. It's almost checkout time." Monica kissed Ben's cheek and blew gently in his ear to wake him.

Ben shook his head to clear it and slowly drug himself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. He wore only his grey boxers, and the marble floor was almost freezing his feet. He plugged in his razor and began his morning routine. As he shaved Ben examined the dark circles under his eyes, he looked as tired as he felt. He watched Monica approach from behind in the mirror. She was already prepared for the camping trip. She wore a think black turtleneck sweater and blue jeans as well as the hiking boots he'd bought for her. For such a light and delicate thing, the boots made her steps very loud. "Didn't you get any sleep?" She said softly as she laid her head on the back of his shoulder.

"Not much. Guess you didn't wear me out enough." Ben put down the razor and wrapped his arms around her.

"Well then I'll try harder next time." Monica smiled up at him.

He pulled her close and stroked her hair. "This was amazing. I know it's like the hundredth time I've said that since we've been here."

Monica waited for Ben to kiss her but he never did. "Ben is there something you'd like to tell me," her voice full of concern.

Ben squeezed her harder and forced himself to smile back. "Not right now."

"But something's bothering you?" Monica's eyes glanced down to the floor.

Ben nodded, "I'm trying to find the words and eventually I will. I promise I'll tell you sometime today, but, this is too perfect to ruin." He gestured to the space around him to indicate the hotel.

Monica's face went from concerned to worried, she stepped away from him. 'What could possibly ruin this?'

"Monica come here." Ben opened his arms. She stepped back into the embrace. Ben kissed her forehead. "Get that worried look off your face. I'm not freaking on you again, I promise." Ben's voice was strong and convincing.

"So now it's your turn. Do with me what you will." The sexiness in Monica's voice returned as quickly as it had left. She gave Ben a wicked smile and grasped his hands.

"Well your driving so it's not like I can hide it. We're gonna camp for the night in Rocky Mountain National Park." Monica gave a satisfied nod at the news.

Rocky Mountain National Park is almost a two-hour drive from Denver. So Ben's date began much the same way Monica's had: in the yellow Bug. They rode and made small talk. About half way there they pulled off the interstate and stopped at grocery store. "So what do you like to eat?" Ben took her hands and walked backward toward the store. As long as the ground was fairly level he didn't really need the crutch. He was dressed in a blue pullover, black jeans, and brown hiking boots. "And if it's not too much trouble can you make it something I can grill."

"I'll eat just about anything." She was thoroughly enjoying the idea of grocery shopping. "It's like we're married."

Ben's face fell slightly at the comment. 'Already she's fishing.' When they entered the store they fought playfully over who would push the cart. Monica won the fight and she rolled it alongside Ben as they surveyed the isles of food. He selected a thick New York steak for himself. She picked out some fresh rainbow trout. Ben completed the shopping by buying two big russet potatoes, a lemon, numerous small bottles of herbs and spices, a can of green beans, a can of biscuits, and a basket of strawberries for desert. "Hope we still have some of that champagne left," Ben said as they approached the checkout.

Monica looked at him quizzically. "I re-corked it, but it'll be warm. It won't fit in the ice chest."

"Monica nature is going to give us all outdoors as a refrigerator." Ben smiled at her naivety.

"That'll be 36.15 sir." The cashier asked like a robot. Ben disappointedly handed the clerk money. 'About ten percent of what it cost Monica.'

"Ben is the cost what's bothering you?" Monica carried the groceries beside Ben as the walked out.

"No, now will you stop worrying." Ben gave her a pat on the behind. To which she replied with a playful grin.

The groceries took up the very last space in the back seat of the bug. It was cold outside, a temperature in the mid thirties, but the morning sun glistened brilliantly off the snow-covered mountaintops. The remainder of the drive was much more quiet. Monica could sense Ben organizing his thoughts in the seat next to her. To spite his professions to the contrary, she was still nervous about what his thoughts might be.

Rocky Mountain National Park is in the Northern Center of Colorado. At the foot of the Rocky Mountains. To spite having lived in Colorado for over three years Monica had never been here. She looked in wonder at the vast expanse of grey, snow-capped peaks in front of her. Winter had never looked so good to her as it did at this moment. It was the off-season and the park was nearly empty to spite the fact there was currently no snow on the ground. Ben paid the twenty-dollar camping fee at the Rangers station where they entered. It made him feel at least a little better about the relative expense of his date. They had their pick of camping spots and they selected one closet to Sprague Lake. An expanse of grayish, brown water perhaps about a mile wide. A forest of tall pines and evergreens surrounded the lake and campground, filling the air with a fresh scent. Lastly of course the whole scene had a backdrop of the Rocky Mountain peaks. From outside the Bug the peaks took on a prism of colors in the mid-day sun. As they prepared to set up camp both lovers inhaled the fresh air deeply.

The campground was made for tents. There were a series of man leveled dirt rectangles not far from the parking area. Each site had a picnic table at one end. There was not another tent to be seen. Sprague Lake was perhaps a hundred yard walk to the north and there an outhouse was provided also. Monica shouldered Ben's heavy hiking pack and carried it over to the dirt box nearest the lake. Ben helped as best he could, carrying the blankets, bedding, and lighter supplies. Monica made a second trip for the ice chest they'd brought, and still a third for Ben's portable grill. The two began to make camp (the spots were given on a first serve basis so this was the first thing they had to do). Ben was experienced as a camper and had the tent up and staked in no time. It was a blue domed North Face with a grey zip front. At it's peak the tent was almost as tall as Monica was. Next they placed all the gear inside the tent and zipped it closed; Ben even had a small padlock to hook the two zippers together and keep it from being opened. Their spot for the night now reserved, they walked hand in hand back to the Bug to enjoy the day.

They drove around to the far side of the lake (from where they were camped) where they happened upon one of the trailheads and corrals used for horseback riding. A large, red barn like structure with several grassland acres leveled out behind. A white wooden fence surrounded the grassland. It was the off-season so they couldn't ride. However, Ben got to watch as his girlfriend's eyes light up as she approached two large horses grazing near the fence. One was a blonde colored Palomino, and the other was a dark brown quarter horse. The Palomino was absolutely huge, but the beast took an immediate liking to Monica. She stood on tiptoes stroking its neck and head. "Hi there fella," she said softly to him. She squatted down and pulled up handfuls of grass, which the animal gleefully ate from the palm of her hand. Ben simply leaned against the fence and watched Monica have her fun.

From there the pair went hiking on some of the trails that wound their way through the tress lining the lake. Monica now understood the purpose of the hiking boots and she had to admit they really were comfortable. Monica walked like a kid in a candy store, enjoying the fresh air. Ben was pleased to see her having such a wonderful time. Even though she couldn't stop worrying about his injured legs. He moved quite well with the crutch to lean on, still she grabbed and spotted for him often on the uneven terrain. Ben was of course was just fine with this.

After the hike they returned to the Bug and drove deeper into the park. Along the way they saw all manner of wildlife. Deer, Elk, Big Horn Sheep, and even a Red Fox. They finally returned to the camping spot only as the sun was setting. Monica put on her winter coat and pulled it tight around her before taking a seat at the picnic table. They weren't allowed to build a fire so Ben turned on the kerosene heater instead. The mountains turned deep shades of purple and red with the sun setting behind them. However, the temperature had dropped a good ten degrees, which was why Monica was cold. Ben on the other hand was used to it. He fired his portable grill and began to make dinner.

Monica was surprised to see Ben had not only a grill but also a small kitchen with him. "I didn't know you could cook," she said, amazed at the display.

"Cook no, grill yes." Ben smiled as he continued to work. Monica used the grill to warm her hands. Ben wrapped the potatoes in foil and placed those on the grill. Next he took out the meat and fish and started cooking those. He produced a knife, a small saucepan, and several cooking utensils from his pack. Monica's fish was garnished with lemon he'd bought, also some Rosemary and Dill. The can of green beans went into the saucepan and then onto the grill. Lastly he opened the tube of biscuits and placed those in foil also. The grill was just big enough to hold all of it. The smell of the food permeated the air and made both their mouths water. A short time later they had their meal.

"God I wish I could make stuff like this." Monica vengefully attacked everything on her plate. "This is amazing Ben," she continued with her mouth full.

Ben shook his head, "I've never seen anyone so little eat so much. But I'm glad you like it."

"See your date has been just as amazing as mine." Monica pointed her fork at Ben. "I've had horse fantasies ever since I was a little girl. My mom would never take me riding though."

He smiled and nodded as he ate. Finally he put his fork down and took a deep breath. It was time for his declaration. He circled over and sat next to her. "Monica I want this, I mean us, too." He watched her for a reaction, she smiled. "I've never been a big believer in fate, but I have to believe my accident happened for a reason. You are that reason. I love you. I love this mind." Ben grabbed her and nestled his forehead against hers. "I love this spirit, including its human flaws." He cupped her breast with his hand and felt her heartbeat. "And oh do I love this body." Ben's eyes locked on hers for a moment. She stopped eating and took his hand. "I love these eyes," he continued, rubbing her eyebrows with his free hand. "I love these lips." He leaned in and gently kissed her. She tasted like lemon and butter because of the fish. "I love everything about you."

Monica was speechless. Once again, Ben displayed his ability to say and do things that made her feel so good about herself. "Ben when we started this, all those years ago. You gave me back a part of myself I thought I'd lost. You are the other half that makes me whole. When you first came here, my every instinct said we were a mistake, but your right, your accident did happen for something. It reminded me of exactly how much you mean to me. So the only conclusion I can draw is that my instincts were wrong. I hope to god yours are better. "

"Trust me you're not missing anything, all your parts are there." Ben chuckled as Monica leaned in again. The conversation was interrupted as they kissed passionately for some time.

"You did have me worried Ben. You always seem to get weird after we make love." Monica rubbed his cheek and stared at him.

"I know, and I'm sorry. For one thing I really don't think of Denver as home yet. The bigger problem is same one I've always had. Jonathan told me something once and I'm going to use his line because I think it fits here. At one point Debs pulled him aside and told him that if they were going to hook up that he had to be her boyfriend. Her in public boyfriend." Monica nodded understanding and Ben kept going. "That's how I feel about you. Right now I feel like we're a hook up in the back seat of a car couple. I want to be a walk down the street together couple."

Monica's eyes darted processing what Ben had said. "Ben home is where and what you make it. As far as going public, I want that also. It's hard because of the circumstances we started with. Maybe we both need to work at believing the world will accept us. I will if you will" She leaned forward and nestled noses. "And ah, hooking up isn't so bad, is it?" Monica grabbed the basket of strawberries with one hand and pulled Ben up with the other. He tried to speak but was cutoff as she smashed her lips against his. "Now warm me up, I'm freezing." Her lips only inches from his as she said it.

Ben extinguished the heater and followed Monica over to the tent. He was slightly annoyed that once again she'd taken control. However Monica was so delicious he couldn't make the feeling last. Ben looked around to make sure they were alone. Then he zipped open the tent and followed her inside.

Inside the tent the world was orange. Only the soft glow of the lantern beside the air mattress provided light. Monica and Ben both got their knees on top of the mattress and started kissing. Hands found one another and fingers intertwined. "You do know the best way to keep warm don't you," Ben asked playfully.

Monica nodded and immediately grabbed Ben's pullover and helped him slip it over his head. He did the same with her sweater. Next Monica unzipped his jeans and let them fall around his knees. Once again Ben copied the gesture. When both had worked their way down to only undergarments they crawled inside the sleeping bag. Monica snuggled against him and continued the process by pulling his boxers down. She produced a condom and ripped the package open with her teeth much as she had their first time. Ben rolled over and his eyes glazed with pleasure as she touched him. Ben fumbled with her bra snap and she had to unhook it for him. He took the garment in his hand and cast it aside as it came off. Lastly Ben snaked down into the sleeping bag and removed her lacy underwear. It was now Monica's turn to have her eyes glaze over. Ben parted her legs and began kissing the inner part of her soft, warm thigh, working his way up. Monica reached into the sleeping bag and grabbed the back of his head with her hands, holding him in place. She closed her legs around him. Ben used his lips and hands skillfully as he continued. Monica drew a sharp breath and held it as the pleasure came at her in waves. She closed her eyes and lost herself in it. Finally she couldn't take anymore and grunted at Ben, "Need you, now."

Ben didn't heed her. Instead he continued the sweet torture by kissing her stomach and then working his way up to her breasts. After what seemed an eternity to Monica he worked his way up to her neck and lips. She pried his lips open with her tongue as the kissing deepened. Monica used her foot to roll the couple over so she was on top. Then she plunged downward and their bodies connected. Both drew short, sharp breaths of the pure ecstasy. The lovemaking lasted only minutes, but it felt like hours until both shook with the final explosion of pleasure. Monica grabbed the champagne bottle from beside the mattress and uncorked it: it exploded again.

After it was over, the two lay naked inside the sleeping bag. Monica had her legs intertwined with Ben's. They were each propped up on an elbow facing one another. Monica picked up a strawberry and shoved it in Ben's mouth. He ate it followed by swigging the champagne from the bottle. Ben did the same, gently placing a strawberry in Monica's mouth. Instead of champagne however, she held it in her mouth and playfully sucked his fingers.

Ben took a deep breath and summoned the courage to finish what he'd wanted to say during dinner. "Monica, all my life I've wanted some sort of adventure. You are that adventure and I know that now. Without you in my life: well, like sacrificing my queen, I can still play on, but the battle feels hopeless. The thing is, I sort regret now starting when we did because, like you, I think it's hindering us now." Monica's face was curious as she listened. Ben continued, "Henry told me that the thing about regret is there's not so much a cure as a remedy, that remedy is to look forward. You are my adventure Monica Young, and I'm looking forward to all the new memories and even the new mistakes we'll make."

Monica stared speechless again. She leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away. "So." He said it loudly to indicate he had more to say. "I have a request. When this semester ends, I want to take you back to Washington with me. Just for a visit. If we can survive that, we can survive anything."

Monica's face fell; she immediately became the bitch. "Ben I think this defiantly fits in the mistake category. Shouldn't we try something easier, like walking through the fires of hell first."

"Hey." Ben started to protest but was cutoff.

"Ben I can't do what you're asking of me. Besides if you really loved me you wouldn't ask. I am truly offended you would even suggest such a thing." Monica rolled away from him and started to get dressed. Ben opened his mouth one more time but couldn't make any words come out. That was it, another perfect date ended in frustration.


	16. Goodbye, Hail, and Farewell

**Ch 16: Goodbye, Hail, and Farewell**

"Aim." A Marine Captain in full dress uniform commanded the line of seven other marines to his right. The Captain held a ceremonial sword in his right hand as he stood at attention, the blade touching his shoulder. It looked like a pirate sword, with a gold hilt, and curved, shining silver blade. The line of honor guards wore their dress uniforms as well. The sky was grey and dark, threatening rain on this April day. At the command, each of the Marine honor guards simultaneously raised their M-1 Garands to the sky. The weapons were also ceremonial: wooden stocks, painted pearly white: polished and lacquered to mirror shine. The bolts that sat atop the weapons and the barrels protruding from the far ends were painted ebony black and just as shiny.

"Fire," The Captain commanded, quickly swinging the sword blade so it pointed to the ground and then bringing it back to his shoulder. The honor guard simultaneously loosed seven shots into the sky. "Ready, aim." The Captain commanded. The honor guard all operated the manual bolts on top of the rifles, in one swift motion ejecting the spent round and inserting a new one. "Fire." The Captain yelled again loudly. Again seven shots were loosed simultaneously. The long rifles were loaded with blanks, and so sounded like little more than boy's cap pistol. The whole process was repeated a third time. "Order arms." The Captain finally shouted; sheathing the sword in the scabbard attached to the left side of his belt. In a rhythmic four count movement, the guards lowered the rifles: placing them at their right sides, butts touching the ground, barrels pointed to the sky. The line of eight Marines continued to stand rigidly at attention.

Ben and Monica were among about a hundred or so people gathered watching the proceedings. Ben wore the same black suit and red tie he'd worn in New York. Monica clung to his right arm in a simple, unadorned, ankle length black dress. Her hair was pulled back and held in place with barrettes. Both had tears welling in their eyes. Staring at the coffin perhaps ten feet in front, with an American flag draped over it. The sky thundered and flashed lighting, finally letting loose the rain it held. Ben popped open an umbrella. He and Monica stood on freshly greened grass of spring, but this day was not about birth. They stood amongst row upon row of Moslems, monuments and headstones of varying shapes and colors. Willow Ridge cemetery was a depressing place to begin with and the day simply made it worse.

After the twenty-one-gun salute was finished, four more marines stepped to the coffin and lifted the flag. A small brass band began playing Taps. The marines began folding in the customary triangular fashion of the United States Military. "On behalf of a grateful nation, whom he proudly served." The Marine Captain handed the folded flag to an oriental looking woman, perhaps in her middle Fifties with black hair, seated by the coffin. She accepted it and wiped tears from her eyes.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, as we have lived so to shall we die. We are gathered here to commit the body of Henry Wayne Phillips to the ground." A tall preacher in a white robe spoke at the head of the coffin. His voice was deep and throaty. "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (psalm 23)."

"I never knew he was a Marine, and who'd they give the flag to?" Monica whispered in Ben's ear. Ben regarded her and shook his head, indicating he had no answers.

Three months had passed since Ben and Monica had formally re-forged their relationship. Ben was nineteen now, and Monica would turn twenty-seven before the end of the month. For the youngest Conner it had been another hard semester. Ben had returned from the January weekend with Monica to the news of Henry's illness. Henry was perhaps the one friend, outside of Monica, that Ben had truly made in Denver. The kindly grandfather was a large part of the reason Ben and Monica existed as a couple. Now that friend was gone. Monica didn't watch or listen to the interment so much as her boyfriend. He stood silently, looking at his shoes, his lower lip quivering with the strain of holding his emotions in check. Monica had never watched Ben work so hard in his life at this moment. The image made her cry harder.

Ben's mind wandered back and was remembering the rude shock of coming back from Rocky Mountain National Park. "I thought I had the flu. I'd still think I had the flu, if they weren't telling me otherwise." Henry was dressed in deep purple bathrobe and resting comfortably on top of his hospital bed as Ben sat in a chair next to him.

"Well what are they telling you?" Ben asked hesitantly as he looked around. Henry's room at University Hospital was pastel blue, with furnishings similar to the one Ben had occupied.

Henry looked down; it was the first time Ben could ever remember the old man looking scared. "Pancreatic Cancer of an aggressive nature. If I heard them right."

"Jesus." Ben looked down also and let out a labored breath. "Well what does it mean?"

"I suppose it means I'm in big trouble," Henry replied, somewhat puzzled by the question.

"No I mean, like, can they operate?" Ben attempted to clarify.

"Maybe, that's what they said maybe. Which sounds suspiciously like, no, to me." The grandfather rose and walked over to the window, staring out at the bright Denver midday. Ben's emotions overwhelmed him and he turned his head away from Henry as he started to cry. "Hey, I'm not dead yet." Henry walked over and put a hand on Ben's shoulder. "How'd you get here to see me anyway?"

Ben looked up with still moist eyes to meet those of the grandfather. "Skipped my first class and took a cab over. Don't have a car anymore."

Henry reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a set of keys, offering them to Ben. The keychain was a small metal replica of crossed checkered flags behind a Chevy logo; it was the symbol of the Chevy Corvette. "Boss I can't accept this. It's too much."

"Hey, I'm not bequeathing it to you. I'm just loaning it to you. You just make sure you don't crash it." Henry started laughing as he wagged an index finger at Ben. However this made the old man instantly begin to cough and gag. Ben watched him wipe a small amount of blood from his mouth with a handkerchief. "Oh, damn." Henry quipped as he looked at it. The old man crawled back into bed.

After the interment Ben and Monica got into separate vehicles. Ben continued to drive the grandfather's Corvette, and Monica her Bug. Ben began thinking out loud as he followed Monica to the reception. "In some ways he was the best friend I had here, he was certainly the first. For some reason he just took a liking to me." Ben was fighting to hold back tears and focus on the road. "Now he's gone. Except for Monica, I have no reason to be here. I don't belong in Denver."

The reception was held in the fellowship hall of the church where the funeral service had been held. A tall red brick building with light grey roof shingles and white concrete archways over the entrance doors. Inside the hall was carpeted the same color grey as the shingles. Banners of various colors with bible passages written on them adorned the drab white walls. The hall was filled with black round top tables and folding chairs. At the front were long banquet tables with the trays of sandwiches, chips, and other hors-d'oeuvres on them. Coffee and fruit punch provided the liquid refreshment.

Monica worked her way through the serving line first followed by Ben. They sat down at one of the tables near the front of the hall and began eating quietly. Ben watched the entrance and rose when he saw the oriental woman who had been given the flag. He had never seen her before today, but she obviously had to be part of Henry's family. Ben watched her go through the serving line and sit down before he headed over. Monica watched Ben but didn't immediately follow. "Miss my name is Ben Conner, and Henry was my boss." He extended a hand, which she shook.

"So you're Ben, you sit down please," the woman said in a thick Korean accent. She motioned to the chair next to her. "My name, Kim," she covered her chest with her hand, indicating herself.

"Pleased to meet you." Ben took his seat. Kim was defiantly native Korean, or so Ben guessed from her slightly fractured English. She was in her middle fifties, but carried her age quite well. There were a few wrinkle lines beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Her hair was black, and showed no signs of grey. Her eyes were dark brown but still clear. She wore a white blouse and navy blue skirt. Kim was beautiful now, and must have been a knockout as a younger woman, Ben thought.

"Henry, he speak of you, very much." She smiled at Ben.

"I was very fond of him also. He just seemed to take a liking to me, I don't know exactly why."

At that moment Monica wandered over and sat down next to Ben. Kim immediately guessed who Miss Young was. "Ahh, so this, this is the woman Henry mentions."

"Excuse me." Monica tilted her head and made a face, indicating she didn't think Kim knew her.

"Indeed she is lovely." Kim studied Monica's face for a moment before continuing. "Henry mentions her as well. You wish to know why Henry like you?" Kim's eyes roamed back and forth between Ben and Monica.

"Yes." Ben answered emphatically.

"He was a wonderful man, but we knew so little about him. We didn't even know he was a Marine. So you have us at a disadvantage." Monica finished Ben's thought.

"Yes, yes, Marine, and a war hero, in Korean War. He save my village, and me. See my village in Korea, near Pusan perimeter. Very fierce fighting, Henry's regiment suffer sixteen thousand causalities in eighteen months. My village being bombed, Henry risk life, bring trucks to evacuate our village." Kim fought back tears as she told the story.

"We never knew an, any of this." Ben and Monica said in unison. Both reached to comfort Kim.

"Henry never talk about it. Anyways, he save me and we fall in love. After war we make a deal. I tell him I not want him to be solider. He say okay, if I come back to America with him." Kim wiped her eyes with a tissue.

"This might sound like a strange question, but how old were you, when you met Henry?" Ben raised an eyebrow.

Kim smiled sweetly at the memory, "I was sixteen." Ben and Monica looked at each other sharing the moment of realization.

"What happened between you two?" Monica asked after some time.

"His family not approve of me. So we try and make our own way, but we have no money. Henry fulfilled his promise and leave Marines, so he have no job. Henry always so ashamed he could not take care of me. He said I deserve better. He go back to school, learn how to be reporter, but he." Kim's voice trailed off as she began to cry.

Ben and Monica could both guess the rest, life had gotten in Henry and Kim's way like it had theirs. Ben rose and reached into his pocket, "Well then, I guess these belong to you now." Ben handed Kim the keys to the Corvette. "I wish someone had been there to give you and Henry a helping hand like he did us." Ben closed Kim's hand around the keys and gave it a supportive squeeze. Then he turned and headed for the exit.

"Nice to have met you." Monica quickly shook Kim's hand and then walked briskly to catch up with Ben. He had already climbed into the Bug. Monica drove the couple back to her campus apartment. Ben never made a sound on the way.

"I can't believe he's gone." Ben seated himself on Monica's bed, which was a single just like his. It was the first time he had ever seen the place. The apartment consisted of three small rooms. The main living space contained Monica's bed on one side and combination desk, shelving unit on the other side. Not unlike Ben's dorm. However her apartment also featured a small kitchen and bath. Monica went to the refrigerator and produced two Coors longnecks. She handed one to Ben and sat on the bed next to him. He took a big swig and was lost deep in thought again, remembering the last time he saw Henry alive.

The grandfather was much more pale and unable to get out of bed. Chemotherapy had removed what little hair he had left on his head. His eyes were bloodshot and he now wore an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. Ben took a seat next to the Henry and leaned in, resting his elbows on the bedrail. Henry could sense Ben was upset about something, beside just him. "Mon and I are having some problems. Or maybe I'm having some problems, I don't know. Denver isn't my home boss, and Mon doesn't want to go back to Washington."

Henry let out a labored breath at the news. "You know what ya think as ya lie here?" Henry coughed frequently and found talking difficult. "You know you're gonna die, and you think that's alright. You lived a long time, you had a job you liked, and you had family that loved you. You thought you even managed to make a difference for a few people." Henry reached out and rubbed Ben's hair. "And then someone tells me something like this. Ben life and love is going to give you all kinds of barriers. Kick em down. I've tried to help you two, don't let my generosity come to nothing. Life can only stay in your way if you let it. You've already done what I could not. You sacrificed a whole previous life to get back the woman you love. Don't make the same mistake I did." The grandfather closed his eyes and slept.

At the time, Ben hadn't had the heart to ask Henry what his mistake was. Ben returned to the present, realizing he'd met Henry's mistake this morning. Ben downed the rest of the beer and went to the fridge for another. Monica's face showed grave concern as she watched him. "Ben take it easy, alcohol won't help you right now," she said as he returned to her side. Ben flashed her an angry look and took another long drink. "Ben trust me, I know from experience, that stuff, it'll get ya drunk, but it won't kill this kind of pain." Monica covered his hand with hers.

"Monica, I'll grieve in my own way and time," Ben said sharply, anger flashing in his eyes again. Ben took another drink before continuing. "I don't belong here Monica: Denver isn't my home." He held his beer bottle by the neck with his thumb and index finger, sloshing the contents back and forth gently as he spoke. Ben stared intently at his shoes.

Monica considered how to respond for several moments. She listened to the rain pelting her window, as she tried to come up with words to avoid a storm inside her apartment. She took another drink of her Coors. "You've had a rough year, I don't deny that. All I can say is that things won't always be this way. We can build a life here if you give it a fair chance." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Ben finished his second beer before responding. "Monica, with Henry gone the only reason I have left to stay is you. I had friends, I had family, hell I had a life back in Seattle, and so did you as a matter of fact." Ben reached inside his suit coat and produced two plane tickets. "I'm going back to Washington to see my family and friends. I'd like you to come along." Ben rose from the bed again and went for a third beer. Monica tried to protest but couldn't make any words come out. This time Ben didn't return to the bed. Instead he grabbed the folding chair from her desk and spun it around. Sitting backwards he propped his elbows on the chair back, he was now facing Monica. She could see his cheeks were flushed; the alcohol was starting to affect him. Ben raised the bottle and took another large swig.

"Ben if you need to visit your family and friends that's fine. Just don't ask me to come with you, I can't do it. Please god don't ask me to again. All you need to do is see them, and then you won't be so homesick. I meant enough to you, that you came over a thousand miles to find me. Now suddenly I don't mean enough for you to stay? I don't understand this." Monica could no longer hide the desperation in her voice.

"I'm not sure I want to stay. I feel like my life is there, you are a very big part of that life and that's why I want you to come along." Ben was yelling now.

"So it's my responsibility to pick up the threads of an old life. To spite what could happen to me if I do." Monica lost control and started yelling back.

"Well it's my responsibility to build an entirely new life. To spite my accident and the fact that my best, maybe the only friend I have here, is dead now." Ben raised his voice even more, though it was the alcohol doing most of the talking.

"So you don't consider me a friend." Monica's voice was hard as steel but there were tears in her eyes.

Ben took another big drink. "Monica I have made many sacrifices and leaps of faith to continue this relationship. You honestly think I don't want it. Yet the minute I ask you for a sacrifice or a leap of faith you refuse. So no, at this moment you're not a friend. In fact at this moment I'm remembering why we nicknamed you Meanica in high school." Ben shook with rage, his emotions intensified by drink.

Monica rose and nearly slapped him, but stopped herself. "You're drunk Ben, you don't mean any of this."

"Oh don't I. Monica Young, so pure, so self righteous. You've never had an out of control moment in your life have you. Oh wait yes you have, and it was me that caused it." Ben got up and paced the room as he screamed.

Monica's eyes narrowed, she grabbed Ben by the arm and stared up at him. "You know something I've never seen you drunk before. Now that I have, let me say, you're not just a drunk, you're a mean drunk. Now get out! Go home and sleep it off." She snapped and tossed Ben his umbrella while herding him towards the door.

"You expect me to walk?" Ben's eyes burned right back at Monica's.

"That's right, and don't expect to find me at that airport when you leave tomorrow." Monica shoved Ben out the door and down the hall. A neighbor happened by and gave Monica an, is everything all right, look. She nodded that everything was handled, but the neighbor remained in the hall.

Ben walked a few steps and then turned. "If you're not with me when I get on that plane, don't expect me to come back, ever!" Ben studied Monica for a moment, allowing his last words to linger. Then he turned and stomped out of the building. Monica ran back into her apartment and collapsed on her bed sobbing. Her plane ticket was still lying on her desk.

The next day Ben summoned a shuttle service to take him to the airport. He checked his bags at the United counter and shouldered a blue duffle bag, which he'd carry on. Denver international airport is large and Ben rode the people movers for nearly twenty minutes to get to his gate. He passed through security and placed his bag on a seat in the terminal. All the while he was in the airport, his eyes searched the masses for Monica. There was no sign of her. Ben removed an aspirin bottle from his bag and popped a couple in his mouth. He had a headache this morning. He also had a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. Ben knew he might have damaged his and Monica's relationship beyond repair. He'd thought about calling her to apologize, but his male ego wouldn't let him. Ben waited until the final boarding call for his flight. He shouldered his bag and slowly walked toward the gate. As he handed the attendant his boarding pass he took one last look around. Monica Young was nowhere in sight. Ben Conner lowered his head and descended the boarding ramp alone.


	17. Separate Lives ?

**Ch 17: Separate Lives?**

The feeling in the pit of Ben's stomach only got worse as the plane taxied away from the boarding ramp. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore it, but it was no use. Monica was not on the plane, and was not coming back to Washington. Ben was nearly ready to throw up as the plane took off. After his angry, drunken words and threats of the previous night, he and Monica were probably finished for good this time. Ben put his headphones on and began blasting the music, trying to drown his thoughts.

Monica awoke the next morning disheveled, having cried herself to sleep the previous night. It was a cruel irony that she was awakened by brilliant sunshine beaming through her window blinds. She felt she had absolutely nothing to be cheerful about. Monica pulled on her pink terry cloth bathrobe and wandered to the kitchen for an eye opener. She set the bottle of Coors on the small kitchen counter and began to open it. That's when she noticed the plane ticket, sitting on the edge of her desk. She walked over and grabbed it, staring and turning it in her hands. The look on Monica's face grew more and more determined; finally she ripped the boarding pass in two and let the pieces slowly flutter into the trashcan. Now Monica had no way to get to Ben, even if she wanted to. It was really over, once and for all. She opened her Coors and took a long drink, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

Stepping off the plane at Seattle Tacoma International Airport raised Ben's spirits at least a little. It was like stepping back into a previous world, and felt like slipping into a warm blanket on a winter morning. All of the comfort and familiarity of home returned immediately. Ben slung his duffle bag over his shoulder and walked to out of the terminal. As he waited to collect his bags he stood on tiptoes looking for his parents who were picking him up. Roland spotted his son, standing beside the baggage conveyers in a purple Washington Huskies polo, stone washed blue jeans, and his hiking boots. Amanda, Roland and Ben all shared an embrace in the middle of the busy airport. "God it's good to have you home." Amanda beamed with joy as she looked up at Ben.

"Yeah, your mother has not enjoyed being an empty nester." Roland chuckled as he took Ben's duffle bag from his shoulder. "So how have you been, how's school, how's Monica? And for that matter where's Monica?" Roland looked around and playfully punched Ben's shoulder. Both Roland and Amanda had been told to expect Miss Young to be with him. However, Roland's rapid-fire barrage of questions on served to make the pain in Ben's chest and stomach return. Roland and Amanda both watched their son lower his head and look at the ground. Ben never answered, and his parents didn't need him to. Roland put his arm around Ben. "Son there's a saying about love. If you love someone, you have to set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours forever. If they don't, they were never yours to begin with."

"So this is another test life is throwing at me, that's what you're saying?" Ben asked in a depressed tone as the group collected Ben's luggage and started for the exit. "God I'm so sick of life giving us tests." Ben's hands balled into fists as he walked behind Roland and Amanda.

The Conner family drove back home where Ben saw a surprise waiting for him in the driveway. Roland had received the insurance check from Ben's accident, and a brand new black SAAB sat in the Conner driveway. Ben got out and looked the car over, it was the exact same as the one he'd totaled in Denver. "My god dad, I didn't think I'd ever have a car again." Ben smiled slightly as Roland reached into his pocket and tossed his son the keys.

"Hey, you've got to have some way to get around Denver, besides your gonna pay the increase in insurance like we agreed." Roland pointed a finger at Ben.

Ben sighed and leaned against the top of the car, his face fell at his father's words. "Yeah, get around Denver, listen will talk about that later tonight. We're still on for dinner right? Now I'm going to see Dino and Jon." Ben climbed in and started the SAAB. As he backed out onto the street Roland and Amanda looked at one another.

"He's upset again." Amanda shook her head.

"Monica, what is it about that woman?" Roland shook his head also.

Madsens pool hall had always been a favorite hangout for the three boys. Dino had discovered years ago that the owners were far less than scrupulous when it came to checking ID's before serving alcohol. The place looked like and in fact was and old warehouse. Row upon row of green clothed billiard tables filled the inside. Each pool table had a small round stand for drinks and two bar chairs located at the stand. The floor was actually concrete but had shaggy red carpet put down over it. At the far end from the entrance was a bar and short order kitchen. A series of cocktail waitresses in black shirts and blue jeans patrolled the tables taking drink orders. The place was dimly lit and cigarette smoke hung in the air. Ben parked his SAAB outside and went inside to grab a table. He had no sooner racked the balls then Dino walked through the door followed by Jonathan. Dino wore tight black jeans and his hockey jersey from Seattle Community College. A year of working out and playing college hockey had made Dino stronger and more muscular than Ben remembered. Jonathan was taller and very slender looking particularly when compared against Dino. He wore a blue dress shirt and jeans; his tan windbreaker was unzipped. However, Jon still had a camera hanging from his neck everywhere he went. Each of Ben's friends walked over and grabbed a pool cue before taking seats at the round stand. The three friends looked at each other for several moments before speaking. "You look good Ben." Both said together.

"Thanks, it's so good to be home. Dino man you look, huge, and Jon I see you still carry that freakin camera everywhere." Ben broke the first rack of solids and stripes.

"College hockey is so different, faster, and the dudes I play against are so much bigger." Dino explained as he ordered a pitcher of Miller from a passing waitress.

"Well the camera is how I pay for school." Jonathan explained next. He held up three fingers to the waitress indicating they needed three beer mugs.

All this was familiar ground; the boys had remained in contact through cell phones and instant messengers throughout Ben's year away. Dino decided he'd be Ben's first opponent and stepped to the table once he missed. "Jacks gave it up," he said slyly as he shot.

"What, when?" Ben and Jon demanded in unison, slamming the end of their cues against the ground.

Jonathan held his hand out for a high five and for once Dino obliged him. "Last Saturday, in my dorm. She's seen her father drunk so many times; she finally decided to see what she was missing. One thing lead to another and…" Dino smiled coyly as he stroked the nine ball into a pocket. "I told you both I would not be last."

Jonathan looked at the ground at the comment. "Look, just winning Debs back was a victory for me. She's special and…" Jonathan's voice trailed off, as he had no way to end the sentence.

"You are such a wuss man. I've got Jacks, he's got Miss Young, and you have an elephant." Dino's arrogant tone caused the other two to look away.

"I don't have Miss Young." Ben shut his eyes and leaned on his cue as he started talking. Ben took a long drink from his mug. "I know I said I'd bring her back. But it looks like I'm not gonna be able to keep that promise."

"What, you went all the way down there and got nothing?" Dino asked as he finally missed a shot.

"I didn't get nothing, I found her, and you guys know that. We even started things up again." Ben smashed the cue ball hard pocketing the six ball.

"Then what happened," Jonathan asked as sipped at his beer?

"Basically Monica and I can't agree on where our life should be. I've always thought mine was here; Henry dying made that very clear to me. She on the other hand thinks hers is in Denver." Ben took another long drink from his mug.

"Man that's tough." Dino shook his head as he watched Ben circle the table thinking.

"Sorry man, at least you got to be with her. Most people never get near a hottie like that." Jonathan was trying his best to be comforting.

"Ah I don't know." Ben stopped pacing and tapped his cue on the floor. "It just doesn't seem fair. I mean what we feel for each other is so, so real. Yet life just won't get out of our way. It's not fair to me to have to build an entirely new life away from everyone and everything I ever known. It's not fair to her to have to face the demons of her past. There probably isn't anything either of us can do now anyway. Can we change the subject please?" Ben won the first game with a final shot as he finished his speech. The boys spent the rest of the afternoon drinking and catching up.

Earlier that morning, while Ben was flying home, Jane knocked on Monica's apartment door. "That's a great breakfast." Jane remarked sarcastically as she entered Monica's apartment. Monica was seated at her desk sipping on her Coors. The woman Ben had overheard comforting Monica long ago was in fact a doctorate student in Educational Psychology. Jane was in her late fifties and had gone back to school to earn her doctorate and become the Psychologist in school district that employed her. Jane was stocky and tall, with curly salt and pepper hair, and kindly blue eyes. "Alright spill it honey, what's wrong?"

"Ben, the guy from Washington, I think we broke up again yesterday." Monica swirled the contents of her longneck, much the way Ben had the day before.

Jane let out a sympathetic sigh. "I'm sorry honey."

Monica thought for a moment about how to continue the conversation. Jane had no idea about her past. Finally Monica slammed the bottle down on the desk. "Life just keeps getting in our way."

"What do you mean dear?" Jane took a seat on the bed and stared intently at Monica.

Miss Young thought for several moments before answering. "He asked me to go back with him and visit Washington." Monica took long drink before continuing. "It just isn't fair, Except for this year, Ben lived his whole life in Seattle. It really is his home. I on the other hand, have built a good life here, in Denver, away from my mother." Monica laughed slightly as she mentioned her mom.

Jane chuckled at the comment as well. "So your mom is still in Seattle? That's why you didn't want to go with him?"

"Something like that." Monica was hoping she could avoid telling Jane the rest of the story.

Jane folded her hands between her knees and contemplated her next words. "Does he love you?"

Monica's eyes darted, again she had to think before answering. "Ben says he loves me, and I believe him." Monica's eyes danced, remembering how being with Ben made her feel. "He makes me feel like a princess, the most special person in all the world."

Jane's eyes narrowed. "Honey in my experience that's pretty rare. Maybe you should go?"

Monica's face fell, she finished off the beer and disgustedly threw the empty in the trashcan. "I don't think there's anything either of us can do now."

"It's never too late, that's why they invented death. As long as either of you wants it there's still a chance." Jane folded her arms and stared intently at Monica.

The weight of the stare made Miss Young avert her eyes. Still she managed a slight smile at Jane's comment. "Ya know something? Right now, Ben is probably having this exact same conversation with his friends. In fact I know he is, I can feel it."

"Well if you're so certain, then get on up there and see the man." Jane stood up and rested a hand on Monica's shoulder.

Immediately Monica's face fell again. "I don't know Jane. I just don't know." Miss Young stared straight into Jane's eyes. Like a poker player, she hoped Jane couldn't read her. 'You have no idea how much trouble could be waiting for me.'

Ben returned home that evening to have dinner with his parents. Fettuccini Alfredo was his favorite dish and Amanda made it in honor of his return. The three sat quietly eating at the small dining table in the Conner house, until Ben started a most unexpected conversation. "Mom, dad how would you feel if I moved back here, transferred back to UW?" Ben stopped eating and rested his elbows on the table.

Roland and Amanda both took several moments to process the idea. Roland put down his fork and rested his chin on top of interlaced fingers. "If that's what you want, you're always welcome here."

"You don't even have to ask. You know that right?" Amanda continued, holding her head with a hand.

"I didn't figure you'd object." Ben lowered his eyes and resumed eating.

Roland and Amada exchanged a look. "Son, and I don't believe I'm about to say this, but shouldn't you at least call Monica?" Amada took the initiative and voiced what she and Roland were thinking.

Ben stared at his plate, holding the top of his head in his hands, elbows resting on the table. He took a heavy breath, "Monica and I are never going to be in a fair situation. A phone call won't help. I'm back here, and she's down there. It's over between us, permanently over." Ben put his fork down and started to sniffle as he fought back tears. He had no appetite anymore.

The next day Ben made a to do list and started working on it. Moving back in with his parents was going to require everything from renting a moving truck to going through admissions at UW for a second time. Ben Conner once again found himself depressed as he tended to these errands. At the UW admissions office Ben also found out that Washington didn't accept mid year transfers. So although most of the credits from Denver would be accepted, he'd have to wait until the fall semester before he could actually take classes. Essentially this meant a six-month break before Ben could resume college. Objectively this might not have been so bad, after all it would give him time to settle back home and possibly find a job. However given the events in Monica's apartment, all it did was further Ben's depression. He'd be forced to put his future on hold, for six months this time, and without Monica he felt he had nothing to show for it. As day passed into evening Ben parked his new SAAB in the driveway and dejectedly opened the door to his house. Tired and depressed, all Ben wanted to do was go to bed, however his father was standing in the living room. "Why the sad face son?" Roland crossed his arms and gave a puzzled look.

"Washington doesn't accept transfers mid year, I'm gonna have to wait until the fall to take classes." Ben shook his head and kicked the floor in disgust.

"I see, well I know something that might make you feel better." Roland's face formed into a smirk.

"Dad, I have a headache and I'm in no mood for games," Ben said angrily.

"Alright, no games." Roland held his hands defensively in front of his face. Ben immeidatly heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway. As she rounded the corner, a disheveled Ben raised his eyes to meet those of an equally tired and disheveled Monica Young. She was wearing blue jeans and a light blue button front blazer. It was a carefully chosen outfit, the same one she'd worn the first time she'd ever kissed Ben. The world faded into the background as the two lovers stepped toward one another, joy overwhelming both. Ben grabbed her in his arms and squeezed tightly. Monica nestled her head against Ben's chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. Ben placed a hand beneath Monica's chin and lifted it until their eyes met. He leaned in and seized her lips in a soft, short kiss. "Ben, this is not a good idea, my being here. But I'm with you no matter what." Monica's eyes stared at Ben's, the emeralds were full of uncertainty.

In spite of how happy they were to see one another, Ben had never seen Monica look so unsure as at this moment. "No matter what." Ben repeated quietly as he grasped her hands, trying to reassure her. Both of them had completely forgotten Roland was in the room and had witnessed the scene.

That is until he spoke, "You both look hungry, why don't you take her to get some dinner son."

Ben and Monica both flashed Roland an embarrassed glance as they were reminded of his presence. "Yeah, I never thought I'd say this but you look terrible." Ben returned his gaze to Monica, stroking her hair with his fingers.

"Well take a twenty hour bus trip back to Denver and see how you look." Monica shot back.

"You rode on a bus to get here? What happened to the plane ticket?" Ben asked puzzled.

"I tore it up. C'mon, I'll tell you the rest at the restaurant." Monica began to lead Ben out the front door.

"You two are not sleeping together." Roland shouted at them as they left. Both laughed at the comment.

Ben drove Monica to Venchinzos. A classy Italian place about twenty minutes from the Conner home. Monica didn't know it but it was Ben's favorite restaurant. The atmosphere was romantic. Soft green carpet, tables with green checker tablecloths and white mats over the top. Candles centered on each table and dimly lit chandlers hung from the ceiling. The walls were white stucco, but looked yellow in the dim light. There was a large mural map of Italy painted on one wall, while the others had black and white photographs of life in Florence, Venice, and other cites. It was almost 9:30PM and the place was nearly deserted. The host greeted Ben and Monica and led them to a table in the corner. Monica sat with her back to the other tables while Ben faced them from his seat. The two lovers ordered their drinks and food and immediately became lost in one another. "So you not only took a bus trip up here, you asked my dad to stay at our house. Unbelievable!" Ben grasped her hands as he started conversation.

"Well it was either that, or stay with my mother. Please don't let that happen." Monica's eyes did a sexy dance as she quipped.

"I'm just glad you're here." Ben said, shaking his head slightly at his luck. He'd let the love of his life go and she had in fact returned to him.

"You damn well better be. Let me tell you that bus trip may have been the twenty worst hours of my life. Subsisting on nothing but junk food, trying to sleep in those cramped uncomfortable seats, and lets not even mention the stench." Monica was smiling to spite her memories of the bus trip. The waiter brought some ravioli and bread as appetizers and Ben and Monica started to eat while conversing pleasantly. To all but one set of eyes they looked like a lovely couple. However, Ben and Monica didn't notice that set, although it would have wise for them to.

Across the restaurant, in the opposite corner from where Ben and Monica were, sat Sue Miller. She'd recognized the couple immediately when they'd entered to spite the dim light. Sue's deep brown eyes narrowed and burned with jealousy as she flipped open her cell phone and dialed her father. "Daddy I'm at Venchinzos and Ben Conner just walked in here, with Miss Young. They're sitting and eating together, they look like lovers." Sue whined desperately into the cell phone.

On the other end, Mr. Miller's eyes also narrowed to slits. "You're serious? Alright honey, I'll take care of it." Sue flipped her phone closed and stared menacingly at the two lovers.

Mr. Miller made another phone call. "Good evening, Seattle police switchboard." A pleasant female voiced answered.


	18. War Is All Hell

**Ch18: War is All Hell**

"Detective Collins please." Mr. Miller scowled at the phone as he was placed on hold.

Mr. Miller thought he'd taken care of this situation long ago. However, Sue's phone call had instantly brought back a flood of unpleasant memories. He began to remember how he'd run Monica Young out of town with his threats. Threats that he knew were based on a lie. A simple and dedicated second grade teacher, Sue Miller's father had never lied before or since. Yet when his precious daughter had told him about Monica and Ben over three years ago, he felt he had no other choice. So he'd pretended to be a representative of the teachers union when he'd threatened Monica. In reality he'd had no power or authority over her whatsoever. At the time, it had seemed like the end justified the means. After all he really did regard Miss Young as a predator. Now however, in this moment, the lie ate at his stomach because he was about to compound it. Mr. Miller knew that he was about to bring Monica Young the biggest hell storm of her life, all based on nothing more than his own judgment.

"Special Victims Unit, Collins speaking," came a gruff reply.

"Frank, it's Will Miller."

"Will, you old war horse, what could possibly make you call this late in the evening?"

"Frank, I'm glad you're on duty. I ah have a problem, a very old problem." William Miller's voice stuttered as he took a deep breath.

Collins face immediately grew serious, "what kind of problem?"

Frank Collins was fifty-one, the same age as William Miller. A tall and stocky man with thick, curly grey hair, bushy eyebrows, a thick mustache, and icy blue eyes with bags under them. Frank and William Miller were old friends, army buddies in days gone by. Technically both were veterans of Vietnam, although neither had ever set foot in Asia. They'd been on active duty together stateside during the war, as MP's at Fort Lewis.

Collins had been a long time Seattle resident, only enlisting in the Army because his name had been high on the draft list. This way Collins got to pick the branch in which he served, as well as his operational specialty. A young beat cop, Collins had naturally chosen to be an MP. Miller on the other hand had waited until he was drafted. The then twenty-four year old teacher had been assigned to the Military Police and was lost. Collins had befriended William Miller when he was posted at Fort Lewis. It was how Mr. Miller had fallen in love with the northwest and decided to move his family to Seattle shortly after Sue was born.

William Miller snorted breaths, he paced around the island in his kitchen: thinking one last time about what he was doing. Finally he took a deep breath and began the story. "The problem is something I think you can help me with. This is a long story Frank so bear with me. Three years ago my daughter, Sue, discovered a sexual involvement between a female teacher and a sixteen-year-old student. The incident was never referred to the police. I handled it myself."

"How?" Collins interrupted, raising an eyebrow as he positioned a tablet with his free hand. He began scratching notes.

"I scared her off." Miller's deep voice hesitated as he answered evasively.

Collins tapped the end of his pen against the desk. "Alright let's start from the beginning. I need names Will."

"The teacher's name is Monica Young, the student's name is Ben Conner."

"Okay and how old were they?" Collins could tell Miller was uncomfortable and was trying to lead with some non-threatening questions.

"At the time Miss Young was twenty-three and Ben Conner was sixteen." Mr. Miller leaned on the island in his kitchen and dropped his head; there was no going back now.

"Okay Will, understand that I'm not going to blame you, but I need to know exactly what was said and done. Both by you and Sue." Collins continued scratching notes on the tablet.

"Sue walked in on them having an argument after school. She was also involved with Ben at the time. Sue came to me, asking for the incident to be handled without police intervention." Mr. Miller cringed with the memory.

"So what did you do?" Collins put down his pen and rested his hand beneath his chin, elbow propped on his desk.

There was a long silence before William answered. "I confronted her about what my daughter had overheard. I scared her by going over some of the things that might happen to her. I told her she'd lose her job, become a registered sex offender. The problem was I'm just a second grade teacher." Mr. Miller paused and looked at the floor. "So I told her I was a representative of the teachers union. Just to make it seem like I had some authority over the situation."

"Jesus Will." Collins rubbed his temples with his free hand.

"Miss Young got the message, or I thought she did. She took leave from her job at Woodrow Wilson. I told her she was never to teach again. She left town and I haven't seen or heard anything about her until tonight." Anger flashed in Miller's eyes as he pictured the short brunette.

"What happened tonight?" Collins picked up his pen again.

"Sue just called me, Miss Young and Ben Conner are together. Having dinner at Venchinzos, she said they look like lovers." Miller rapped his knuckles on the kitchen island.

Collins immediately set the pen back down. "This is pretty thin Will. I wish you hadn't waited to come to me. Statutory rape cases are notoriously difficult to prove and the incident being three and a half years old doesn't help. Had you brought this up then, we could have put this Miss Young away for a long time."

"So what can we do now," Miller closed his eyes as he asked?

"We're not gonna do anything Will. Only one of us has a badge anymore. All right look, I'll investigate but don't expect much. Really I have nothing but the word of you and your daughter. Honestly, unless Miss Young admits to this, she's probably gonna walk."

"That is unacceptable." Miller slammed his fist down on the island.

"Will what would you have me do, I can't arrest her for having dinner." Collins said in an exasperated tone.

"Lock her up, scare her like I did. She's fragile emotionally Frank: we can break her. Frank I'm asking you, as a friend, to bring justice to this situation and protect the honor of my profession." The passion in William Miller's voice kept rising.

Collins began clicking his pen and didn't speak for a long time. "Okay Will I can detain her for a few hours. Bring her down to the station, put her through booking. However, if she doesn't confess then I've got nothing." Collins sighed heavily at the decision he'd just made. It was a risk, but a veteran cop like Collins could not stand seeing criminals go free. "Will, the Conner boy's parents, where are they in all this?"

Mr. Miller was taken aback, in the tension of the moment he'd completely forgotten about Roland and Amanda. "They live here in Seattle. I told them about what happened three years ago."

"They didn't want their son drug through a police investigation." Collins guessed.

"Right, but neither has any affection for Miss Young. Ben admitted the affair to them, they told me so." Mr. Miller's voice was hopeful; if Ben parents made statements perhaps Monica could be prosecuted.

"I bet you didn't tell them about how you faked being a representative of the teachers union." Collins laughed slightly because lying was so out of character for William Miller. "Okay, Will listen, we're about to play one hell of a poker game here. I'm going to send a couple of uniforms to Venchinzos and have them pick up Miss Young. They'll arrest her; handcuff her, the whole nine yards. I'll also bring Ben and each of his parents down to the station and question them separately. Before that happens, I need you to go and pay the Conners a visit. Tell them that if they help us, we can put Miss Young away."

Mr. Miller hung up the phone and put on his coat while hustling to his car. Collins rose from his desk and took a deep breath. He went to tell the watch commander that he needed four separate interview rooms. Monica had made a faithful decision to return to Washington, and just as she feared, fate was about to declare war on her.

Ben saw the two police cruisers pull directly in front of the glass door to the restaurant, their lights and sirens active. Ben's face fell, his stomach twisted into knots, he let go of Monica's hands. Frantically Ben's eyes searched the restaurant: now that he was looking it didn't take long. Sue Miller stood beside her booth on the opposite side of the side of the restaurant, her cell phone again pressed against her ear. She flashed Ben an angry stare when he noticed her.

"Monica Young?" Two uniformed police officers advanced through the tables and interrupted Ben and Monica's dinner.

"Yes." Monica's face turned white as she twisted her head to the opposite corner of the restaurant just in time to see Sue Miller flip her cell phone closed and walk out.

"Ma'am, you'll need to come with us right now." The officers said together sternly.

"What is this all about," Monica asked hesitantly as she faced them.

"Ma'am you're being arrested on suspicion of statutory rape. Please stand up and place your hands behind your back."

Monica began sobbing uncontrollably as she complied with the orders. The officers placed Miss Young in handcuffs and each grabbed an arm to lead her from the restaurant. Ben tried to stand in their way. "No, I won't let you take her. She's done nothing wrong." He cocked his fist as if to throw a punch.

"Ben damn it, this won't help me." Miss Young shouted. One officer forced Ben aside and they resumed marching toward the cruisers.

"Monica I love you and I won't let this happen I promise." Ben shouted from some distance.

Monica resisted the officers long enough to turn and face Ben. "If you love me then for god sake SHUT UP!"

As she was forced to walk Miss Young was read Miranda rights, "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to the presence of an attorney during any and all questioning, should you so desire and cannot afford one, a lawyer will be appointed by the court prior to any questioning. Do you understand these rights as I've read them?" Monica managed to nod that she did. "Very well miss, watch your head." The officers rudely shoved Monica into the back of a patrol car. Ben stood cationic by the table as he watched Monica look at him through the window of the patrol car. He watched Monica's worst fears returning to Seattle being realized. As he watched the love of his life disappear from view, all he could think was that her last words were to tell him to shut up. Flames of anger lit in Ben's eyes as he scrambled to his SAAB.

William Miller was closer to the Conner home than Ben was and he got there first. He rang the bell multiple times; an annoyed response came from the other side of the door. "What'd you forget your house key Ben," Roland said as he opened the door. Ben's father was shocked when he saw the tall, chiseled figure of Mr. Miller standing outside. "William, what an exciting and bloodcurdling surprise. What can I do for you?" Roland stepped into the doorway and barred entrance to his home with his slender frame.

"Look I know we've had our differences, but I'm here because there's something you need to know. Are you going to let me in? I really don't think you want me to say this where the world could hear it." Will Miller placed his hands on his hips, pushing his unzipped tan jacket to the sides.

"Honey what's going on?" Amanda shouted as she walked across the living room to see what was keeping Roland. She arrived just in time to see Roland step aside an allow Mr. Miller to enter. Roland closed the door and leaned his back against it. He could already guess what this was about.

Monica arrived at the tenth street police station about the same time Will Miller was standing on the Conner porch. A large single story brick building located on a corner lot. Police cruisers were parked all around. Miss Young was taken to the central receiving desk where a formal complaint was typed up. She sat beside a uniformed female officer and was forced to answer mundane questions such as legal name, address, age, and so forth. From there she was led to a large room with a lab table at one end and a white wall with black height markers at the other end. The small blue placard outside the room declared this to be "booking". The room was well lit with rows of ballast lights. The counter on the desk was light blue and the floor black tile. There was a stainless steel sink at one end of the counter. The smell of paint thinner was heavy in the air. Turpentine was used to clean suspects' hands after finger printing them. Monica's eyes watered as she observed the camera in front of the wall. 'They're going to finger print me, and take my, oh my god, mug shots.' The thought hung like a storm cloud as the handcuffs were removed. Monica Young was about to be processed, like robbers and murderers. With her hands free Monica rubbed her arms, she felt cold and alone.

"Mr. And Mrs. Conner I think you need to know that Monica Young is back in town. My daughter caught them together eating dinner." Miller's voice was deep and serious.

"We know." Roland and Amanda answered in unison. "In fact she's staying here while she visits," Roland continued.

Will Miller looked down and batted his eyes several times in amazement. He held his hands out index fingers pointing to the ceiling. "Let me see if I've got this. Both of you know that Miss Young is back and seeing Ben?" Miller squinted as he asked.

"Well yes our perspective on Miss Young has changed somewhat." Roland crossed his arms and gave Mr. Miller a sly look. William again pushed his jacket to the sides as he placed his hands on his hips. He raised his head to the sky and wet his lips with his tongue. I can't believe this, Miller thought.

It overpowered her perfume. That's all Monica could think, as she smelled the disgusting smell of paint thinner on her hands. Having been photographed and finger printed she was taken to a holding cell. The cell was about nine by nine and Monica was alone in it. The walls were made of concrete block, the ugliest grey Monica had ever seen. The only thing in the cell was a wooden cot attached to the wall, with a thin mattress on top. Miss Young sat down on the cot; she watched and listened as the grayish green bars slammed home. The metallic sound reverberated over and over in Monica's head. The officer watching the holding cells returned to his desk. He couldn't help but look at the pretty brunette, caged like a wild animal.

"She's been arrested!" Roland's turn to blink his eyes in disbelief.

"Not only that but soon the police will be here as well. They'll want to question you." Miller's deep voice boomed the news.

"You're joking?" Amanda interjected, stunned.

"No I'm not. I have a friend in the police department, detective Frank Collins. I called him as soon as Sue called me." Miller made a point of staring at Roland and Amanda.

"This night just keeps getting better and better." Roland's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Like I said I know we've had our differences, but I can see you're good parents. She's taking advantage of Ben, surely you can see that." Will Miller started the up hill battle of trying to convince Ben's parents to prosecute Monica.

"What I see is a woman who took good care of our son while he was laid up in a hospital thirteen hundred miles away from us." Roland sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Besides the whole point of Ben going to Denver was he wanted to explore the relationship with Monica."

"I don't much like it, but it is what Ben wants. Even I'd have to admit the fact that they are together now after all that's happened this past year says something." Amanda walked up behind her husband and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.

William Miller paced around the couple for several moments. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets. "Look feelings aren't the issue here. The issue is Monica, then and probably now using her influence over Ben. She was in a position of power and that power cannot be abused. If it is, no teacher can ever be trusted to educate."

"I don't think there's been any abuse. Monica isn't a pedophile. The feelings they have are genuine, and very mutual." Roland covered his wife's hand with his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"How do you know that? Ben admitted that they had sex in a janitors closet three years ago. A janitors closet for heavens sake. Lord knows what else went on that you two, or I don't know about. You just said Ben was thirteen hundred miles away from you. How do you know Monica isn't coercing him?"

Roland opened his mouth to say: because I asked him, but was cut off. Amanda stepped away from her husband and looked at the floor. Something had shifted inside her mind: Mr. Miller was getting to her.

The bars slid back open and Monica was grabbed by the watch officer and handcuffed again before being escorted to an interview room. The room was hollow, dark, and small. A single orange light on a wire cable swung freely above a black metal table. The walls were grey and looked just as drab as the rest of the places Monica had visited since becoming a guest of the Seattle police. Two brown desk chairs were positioned on the long sides of the table. The officer once again removed the handcuffs and rudely forced Monica into one of the chairs. Detective Collins watched her being escorted into the room through a sort of duck blind. One of the walls was false, made of tinted Lucite and allowed a one-way view of the interview room. Collins studied Miss Young for a long time. Having seen the small, terrified figure in her bright blue blazer and jeans, he could hardly believe this was a criminal. Still she had broken the law and that was all that mattered to him. Monica again felt cold and rubbed her blazer sleeves with her hands. Interview rooms are designed to scare people, make them feel completely alone and isolated. The room was having the desired effect on Monica.

"You son of a bitch." Ben screamed as he stormed in the front door of his house. He'd recognized the Miller's SUV when he saw it parked in the driveway. Ben took galloping strides toward Mr. Miller. William turned in time to see Ben's right fist flying towards him. The punch connected on the left side of Miller's forehead and sent him back a couple steps.

"Ben what in holy hell are you doing?" Roland grabbed his son and buckled his arms behind his back to restrain him.

"My god Ben." Amanda covered her mouth as she watched Roland struggle to pull Ben away.

"Breaking the jawbone of an ass." Ben shouted as he continued to struggle against his father.

Will Miller hunched over, covering the knot forming on his head with both hands and stomping his foot in pain. "See what I mean. Are you telling me this level of devotion is natural?" He said after regaining his composure.

The confrontation was interrupted by the distant sound of police sirens. "This night just keeps getting better all the time." Roland grunted for a second time, still struggling to restrain Ben.

Collins was a tall and large man, particularly when compared against Monica's slender frame. He wore a dark brown tweed suit and white dress shirt. His burgundy tie had noticeable coffee stains on it. As he entered the interview room he held a manila folder containing the booking record and Monica's mug shots. He took a seat opposite Monica and propped his elbows on the table, placing the folder between them. Even in the darkness of the room Miss Young could see her own reflection in Collin's thick glasses. Collins put a stick of gum in his mouth and propped his head on his chin. "You know why you're here. Want to make this easy on yourself and confess?" Monica didn't respond even though she was shaking with fear.

The mutt and Jeff act had begun. Collins stood up and started pacing. Eventually he threw the manila folder onto Monica's lap. "Open it," he commanded. Miss Young did as she was told. She cringed when she saw the camera shots of herself, holding up the black placard that said Seattle Police Department. Collins stopped walking when he was behind Monica's chair, he leaned down and talked into her ear. "You've never been in trouble before. That women's correctional facility can be a breeze or a nightmare. You make this easy on me and I'll make sure you get an easy sentence, minimum security, light on the jail time. You make me work and you'll do hard time, in maximum security."

Monica fought desperately for control of her emotions and the situation. Her eyes burned even through tears. "I want a lawyer."

"You'll get one. Are you sure you won't play ball?" Collins circled back to the other side of the table and leaned on it. "I've got the Conner boy's entire family on their way here right now. You can bet your bottom dollar I'll crack at least one of them."

"Then do it." Monica snapped defiantly. Collins called for her to be taken back to the holding cell.

The Conner family arrived at the tenth street station just after 11:30PM. Collins had left specific instructions that the family was to be taken to separate interview rooms. He'd also stated that Ben was in no way allowed to see Monica until after his interview. It was a detail so obvious the watch commander was surprised Collins had thought to mention it. Uniformed officers escorted each of the three Conners to separate interview rooms. By separating them they would have no chance to collaborate on a story. All Collins had to do was crack one; the others would fall like dominos.

Monica went from the interview room to the one place that was worse: her grey metal cage. Again she sat on the wooden plank bed along the wall. She suddenly realized that being in the interview room with Collins had given her something to direct her fear and rage at. Now she had nothing but time and her thoughts. Miss Young's stomach tightened. 'Could Collins crack one of the Conners? My last words to Ben were to tell him to shut up. God I hope he doesn't take that wrong. And Amanda, what might she do when given such an easy opportunity to punish me?' Monica Young now knew mortal terror, as she never had before. She realized there was chance she would be caged for a very long time.

Ben was first, he was taken to the same interview room Monica had. Collins studied the teenager. He looked tired but perfectly normal in his purple Huskies polo and stonewashed jeans. He was about to go in when he received another phone call from William Miller. Detective Frank Collins now knew about the confrontation that had taken place in the Conner home.

Collins entered the room and sat down across from Ben. "I'm detective Frank Collins." He announced without extending his hand. The youngest Conner's eyes narrowed. He stared intently at Collins as he might a chess opponent sitting across from him. The game began: "I can see why you'd fall for her. She's pretty, she's awfully awfully pretty," Collins took off his glasses and bit one of the earpieces. "You know it occurs to me that a woman like that can have anything or anyone she wants."

Ben crossed his arms and did exactly as Monica had said; he stayed completely silent. The game Collins was playing was an obvious one.

"Don't you feel manipulated, taken advantage off at all?" Collins asked gently, he was trying to be Ben's friend.

"I'm not saying a word to you." Ben said defiantly, turning his head away.

"Really, well than let me ask you something. Why'd you punch William Miller?" Collins eyes narrowed. "Cause see I think you did it because this Monica makes you lose control. I also think you're a smart young man and part of you knows she makes you lose control." Collins leaned back in his chair.

"Your point?" Ben replied tersely.

"My point is son that being a teacher gave her an unnatural amount of influence over you. That's what causes a good, rational person like you to lose control. Like I said I think you already know that it was wrong of her. You're the victim here. If you just admit it we can help you. If you don't, well than we'll just have to consider that incident in your home assault and battery. It's all right to admit that she holds power over you son. That's what made you do what you did tonight. That's what makes what she did a crime."

"If you're gonna charge me with something than you do it. I'm outta here." Ben whisked is blue windbreaker off the back of the chair and left the room. Collins lowered his head and sighed: 'strike one'.

Roland was next. His interview room had ballast lights and drop ceiling so it was considerably brighter. Also the table was wood, not black metal. Still the room felt empty, and a suspect would feel alone in it. Collins decided to try the same thing on Roland he had on Ben. It might have more force going from father to father. As Collins entered he quickly processed Mr. Conner. Both Roland and Ben were tall and slender; it was about the only resemblance Collins saw. Mr. Conner wore a light blue dress shirt and navy trousers. Frank Collins sat opposite him just like he had Ben. "I'm detective Frank Collins." This time he did extend a hand. Roland accepted the handshake out of courtesy. "You know I'm a father myself: two girls. I know what it's like when something bad happens to one of your children. You want nothing more than to make everything alright."

Roland relaxed slightly. "Ben is our second child, so I thought I'd be more prepared to raise him. But I still wasn't prepared for the power he'd have over me."

Collins smiled, his strategy was having more of an effect. "You'd give your life for him in a heartbeat. I'd do the same for my daughters."

"I would," Roland nodded.

"Well then, father to father, let me tell you what I see. I see a gorgeous young woman who understandably caught your son's eye. I also see a boy that is coerced into actions he wouldn't normally take. The uniforms told me Ben tried to resist them at the restaurant. Not much, just a little. William also told me that you had to restrain Ben in your house earlier tonight. I'm willing to bet that violence is out of character for Ben."

"It is," again Roland nodded agreement.

"Then you can see how unhealthy this woman is?" Collins voice was trying to lead Roland where he wanted him to go.

Roland's nostrils flared and his eyes widened slightly. He had to calm himself before speaking. "Three and a half years ago I might have agreed with you." Collins tried to interrupt but Roland cut him off by holding up his hand. "Now detective Collins what I see is my family is in the middle of a concocted mess because you and Mr. Miller are pursuing a matter which has nothing to do with you. If anybody has the right to be upset over Miss Young its Amanda and I, not William. Monica nursed our son through a very difficult time in his life. I've seen she is not a monster, and she certainly doesn't deserve to be put in prison. And for the record I resent the implication that we cannot see what is healthy and unhealthy for our son." Collins lowered his head and rubbed his temples: 'strike two.'

Ben wandered the station until he found the holding cells. The room had three separate cells along one wall and oak desks centered about ten feet from each one. Only one of these desks was occupied, and that officer was reading a novel. "Ben!" Monica rose and shouted as she saw him approach. He scurried over and tried to find some way to hold her through the iron bars as she approached.

The officer's head came up at the noise, "hey away from the detainee." Ben didn't listen. The officer strode over and grabbed his shoulder. "Look son either step away or you go in there and I lock both of you in."

"Then unlock it." Ben replied impatiently.

The officer grabbed the keys from the desk and opened the cell. Once Ben was allowed entrance the cell door slammed home again. Ben held Monica and led her over to the wooden cot. When both were seated she buried her head in his chest and started sobbing. She pounded her left fist against his shoulder. "I knew this would happen, why did I come back here?" Monica was barely audible with her head buried in Ben's chest. He knew enough not to say a word. He just held her and rocked gently back and forth, his chin resting on top of her head.

Collins had one last chance and it was his best one: Amanda Conner. Her interview room was exactly like the one Roland had been in. Having been through two unsuccessful interviews the detective decided to change tactics. "Mrs. Conner I'm detective Frank Collins," he said for the third time. "I wish we were meeting under more pleasant circumstances."

"So do I." Amanda looked away from the detective.

Collins took a deep breath before doing what he was about to do. "I think I can make this easy for you Mrs. Conner. Roland helped me out a lot." Years as a cop had made Collins a good and experienced liar.

"I can't believe that. I thought he was actually growing fond of her." Amanda stammered out.

"Believe it. I just need to confirm a few facts. Monica Young was twenty-three and Ben was sixteen when the relationship started, correct?" Amanda nodded affirmative. "This relationship included sexual intercourse on at least one occasion, is that correct?" Collins smiled as he leaned back in his chair.

Amanda hesitated for several moments. The silence was like the loudest thunder ever heard. "Yes."


	19. I'm TwentyTwo for a Moment

**Ch 19: I'm Twenty-Two for a Moment**

Ben gave a satisfied nod as he stood in his bedroom in the Conner house. He wore a dark grey suit and light blue dress shirt. His tie was light yellow with black vertical patterns of small black diamonds, which Ben was still adjusting. There was a section of the Seattle Times lying on Ben's bed. As he finished prepping himself the laughter of children and the ringing of the doorbell drew Ben's attention. "I'll get it," Amanda shouted from downstairs. Ben stepped out into the upstairs hallway to find his four year old twin cousins, Alex and Will, chasing one another outside his room. They wore miniature opposite colored Washington Huskies football jerseys. Alex had the home uniform, deep purple with white numerals. Will's was the opposite, white with purple numerals. Both had on a toddler sized pair of stonewashed blue jeans and tiny Nikes. Ben scooped one up in each arm and folded them over each shoulder at the waist.

"Like two big sacks of potatoes." Ben said playfully as he took them into his room. The two twins were not identical; William (Will) was slightly shorter and lighter than his baby brother (Will was older by four minutes and he never let Alex forget it). He had short brown hair, and chocolate eyes just like Ben's. In later life they'd be able to melt any female. Alex was maybe half an inch taller and felt considerably heavier to Ben. The younger of the twins had a chubbier face, blonde hair, and light blue eyes. They were the children of Amanda's younger sister and both were cute as a button. The Conner's were babysitting while Amanda's sister went out of town. Ben set them down on his bed and began to tickle them at the mid section. Both giggled and kicked vehemently in protest.

"Cos'in Ben, you, play, cops and robbbers with us?" Will asked after he stopped tickling. Alex produced a pair of children's play handcuffs from his back pocket. They were metal and from Ben's viewpoint looked real. Time and distance allowed Ben to chuckle at the request. His mind wandered back almost three years.

Ben never said a word to Monica while he comforted her in her holding cell. He just held and gently rocked her while she sobbed and pounded her fist against his shoulder. He understood that in this moment Monica was a mix of emotions, and she didn't know whether to love him or kill him. Ben also knew that salvation was not far away, he just hoped that it would get here before detective Collins could break one of his parents. At that moment, the guard watching the cells turned on the radio on his desk. The Righteous Brothers Soul and Inspiration came to Ben and Monica's ears.

"You're my soul and my heart's inspiration.

You're all I got, to get me by.

You're my soul and my heart's inspiration.

Without you baby, what good am I?"

Monica instantly stopped crying and looked up at Ben, running her fingers along his cheek. The chorus expressed perfectly how she felt about him. For a few moments the walls of the jail disappeared. They could have been lovers sitting on a park bench somewhere listening.

As he sat on his bed nearly three years later it was an omen Ben realized now. Shortly after the song ended, salvation arrived. Salvation was in the form of the Conner family attorney: Nick Jantzen. A tall, handsome, and athletic looking man in his middle thirties. He had short, curly sand colored hair and brown eyes, which were covered with black wire rimmed glasses. He rounded the corner and laughed when he saw both lovers clinging to one another inside the metal cage.

"Who's that?" Monica asked noticing the new presence. Jantzen wore a dark business suit and tie; he carried a brief case in his right hand. The clothing was the expensive and well-maintained variety a lawyer would own.

Ben smiled the smile of a tired, reluctant hero. "That is your ticket out of here. It's our attorney Nick. I called him on my way back home from Venchinzos." Monica closed her eyes in relief, and leaned against Ben's chest, she was about to be saved.

It didn't take long at all. Nick disappeared off to the interview rooms to find detective Collins. Except for the guard's radio there was complete silence for a few moments. Then Ben and Monica began to hear an argument. The voices were growing louder, approaching the cell. Nick was hanging detective Collins out to dry.

"This is false imprisonment Frank. Either she leaves this place, and I mean right this minute, or I'll see to it Monica Young owns the Seattle Police." Nick said in a mocking tone.

"We have an admission from the mother of the victim, that's more than enough to hold her while I investigate further." Collins shot back angrily.

"Bullshit, the alleged incident is over three years old and you've got no physical evidence. Besides the family doesn't want to press charges." Collins and Jantzen rounded the corner and came into view. Jantzen wagged an index finger in front of Collins. "I play golf with District Attorney Frank." Jantzen checked his watch; it was after midnight. "If you make me wake him at this hour, with as little evidence as this, I guarantee you will not have job by mid morning."

Collins looked at the floor in defeat and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Kick her." The guard blinked a couple of times and didn't move from the desk. "Let her go," Collins shouted again loudly. The guard obeyed this time. The bars slid open and Monica Young was allowed to leave a free woman.

In the front entrance of the station Nick, Ben and Monica were reunited with Ben's parents. Roland and Amanda's faces showed their bewilderment. "Nick what are you doing here?" Amanda asked, her voice just as puzzled as her face.

"Saving her ass. And what an ass it is." Nick turned and smiled slightly as he looked down at Monica's backside. The group walked out of the station together.

"Hey now." Monica playfully slapped Jantzen's hand as he admired her.

"But, but, you're not a criminal attorney." Roland pointed out shaking his head.

"He isn't!" Monica's shoulders jumped in surprise. She turned toward Ben with narrowed eyes.

"No, his specialty is contract law. Roland and I use him to go over the contracts we sign as musicians." Amanda pushed her hair back with both hands in disbelief.

"Yeah well…" Ben looked down at the pavement behind his SAAB. "I didn't know anyone else, but I knew all the police had was hearsay."

"Yeah well you don't want to know how close the hearsay came to putting you away." Amanda looked at Monica. "Collins lied to me and told me Roland had sold you out. Thankfully Nick arrived when he did because I was telling the detective everything."

"He threatened me with assault and battery charges for punching Will Miller." Ben chimed in as he opened the door of his SAAB for Monica.

Miss Young was practically catatonic as she tried to process all that had happened this night. All the risk she took in coming back to Washington nearly blowing up in her face. All the risk Ben had convinced Nick to take to free her. Ben punching Mr. Miller, it was just too much. Monica held on to the open door of the SAAB but she didn't get in. "So Collins was cheating," was all Monica could think to say.

Jantzen winked at her. "Yes he was, and I was only too happy to call his bluff."

"And there is no more deeply moving experience than cheating on a cheater." Ben continued the thought as he helped Monica into the passenger seat.

"Ben, this just arrived from Fed Ex. It's for you." Amanda shouted as she tromped up the stairs toward Ben's room. Ben shook his head to clear it, as he was jolted back to the present. Immediately his eyes met those of two scowling four years olds whom he still hadn't answered.

"C'mon cos'in Ben, play wit us." Alex and Will said together as they each pulled an arm.

"After I see what I got. I'll be along in a few minutes." Ben replied gently to the boys.

"No he won't." Amanda said in a commanding tone. She entered the room and handed her son the Fed Ex box. Amanda knelt down and clapped her hands, indicating for the boys to come to her. "It's graduation day and it's almost time to leave." Amanda scooped up the boys and left the room.

Ben sat on the corner of his bed as he opened the FedEx box. Inside was a thick hard cover novel. The plastic jacket was black with large, silver embossed script lettering: Dying for 16. The one was made to look like the tip of a knife at the low end and had a speck of red on the tip. Ben couldn't help but smile as his eyes drifted to the bottom of the front cover. Embossed in smaller gold script was the author: Monica Young. Ben turned the book over to look at the jacket picture on the back. Monica wore a white blouse, yellow and pink dotted scarf, and a knee length burgundy skirt. Her flowing brunette hair was hanging freely at her shoulders. She wore an irresistible smile and that soft pink lipstick Ben loved so much. It was a professionally done airbrushed photograph, so she had no pores. She looked more beautiful than even Ben could remember. 'Now there's a picture I'd blow up and hang on my wall.' Ben exhaled and moaned slightly at the thought. He turned the book over again and opened the cover. On the inside of the front cover he found a post it note in Monica's handwriting: Dearest Ben please read the dedication, I hope you like it. Ben immediately flipped forward a couple of pages. The dedications were on an otherwise blank page, written in a fancy cursive script made to look handwritten. Ben couldn't help but grin as his eyes scanned the page.

_To MD Scott Clair: Thanks for letting me pick your brain about all matters medical._

_To Jane: Thanks for the tour._

_For Ben: The Greatest Mistake I Ever Made_

Ben heard his family calling him and closed the book with a loud thump. He walked downstairs and outside, he was still smiling.

Ben sat in the back of the Ford Explorer with the book propped open on his lap. Roland drove the family toward Husky Stadium; they were attending the graduation ceremonies at UW. Ben read the teaser summary on the inside of the front page. The story was about a sixteen year old boy who fell in love with an older teacher to disastrous consequence. Ultimately the story was a murder mystery but Ben knew where she'd got at least some ideas. The main character was a sixteen-year-old boy named Ken. The teacher and accused murderer was a twenty three year old Art instructor named Suzanne. Ben thumbed the book over to the back cover and read the dossier on Monica:

_Monica Young is a thirty-year-old Post Graduate Student in Literature. She is scheduled to receive her doctorate in the spring of 2011. Miss Young resides in Seattle, and teaches Literature and Composition at the University of Washington._

Ben thumped the book closed again and stared out the window, resting his head on his knuckle. Monica stay with the Conners three years ago had been a month long. That was enough time for her to transfer back to Washington University and find employment among the graduate teaching staff. Ben's parents had helped again with the move from Denver. A move that included two trucks, one for Ben's things and the other for Monica's. She still refused to stay with her mother and so found a small apartment similar to the one she'd had in Denver.

Miss Young had received her Masters in the spring of 2009. She had no career training or experience outside of teaching. So she went right on into her postgraduate program. Ben cringed for moment at the thought of having to call his girlfriend professor, or doctor. It seemed so formal after everything they'd been through. Ben and Monica had dated publicly and were inseparable ever since she returned.

It was while pursing her doctorate that Monica discovered that in addition to teaching, she was a splendid writer. Her first formal effort was what now sat on Ben's lap. She'd found writing a very therapeutic way of dealing with her past. Life owed Monica Young a break, and it came when she showed her first novel to one of her professors. He shopped the manuscript around to publishers, and McGraw-Hill bought the rights. Ben didn't know it, but Dying for 16 was already a commercial success. It was currently number seven on the New York Times bestseller list, and unprecedented feat for a first novel.

The Conner's arrived outside Husky Stadium just before eleven in the morning. The sky was a bright and a warm breeze blew Ben's suit coat as he stepped out. The family waited a few minutes, Roland stood in the empty parking space next to them to reserve it. The space was soon filled with a bright red BMW convertible. Monica Young stepped out wearing her black graduation gown, her left hand holding her cap on her head. She greeted the Conners with a lovely smile and kissed Ben on the cheek. Ben blinked his eyes at her new wheels. "BMW 325CI," Ben said aloud has he admired the new vehicle. He noticed it was another stick shift. "Anyone who can afford this doesn't need to worry about gas mileage."

Monica smiled coyly, "Write a best selling novel and get a big advance on your next book, suddenly a lot of things become affordable."

"Yeah I got your book right here." Ben held out the novel with his hand.

"It's the first copy ever printed. It would've gotten to you sooner, but my editor forgot to send it." Monica made an apologetic face.

"It's a best seller, well I can see why. The picture on the jacket alone would make me buy it." Ben traced the picture with his finger.

"Number seven on the New York Times list as we speak." Roland interjected.

"You deserve it Monica." Ben turned towards the football stadium.

"We deserve it." Monica corrected, extending her hand for Ben to take. He took it and the group started walking toward the stadium.

"Congratulations Monica." Amanda reached out with her free hand and patted Monica on the shoulder. Each of Ben's parents carried one of twins.

"Oh by the way, these are my cousins. Mom is holding Alex, and dad is holding Will." Ben extended a hand toward the sleeping boys being carried by Roland and Amanda.

"Oh my, both so cute. I just may have to replace you Ben." Miss Young smirked at her lover. Ben answered with a playful smirk of his own. 'Keep at it Monica, and you won't get what else is coming to you.' Ben pulled his hand away from Monica's for just long enough to reach into his pants pocket. There he fingered a small jewelry box.

The graduation ceremonies were slow, and Ben passed the time by reading Monica's novel. The Conner family sat in first deck of the stadium at about the forty-yard line. Husky stadium is large and made mostly of metal. There were two tiers of seats spanning the length of the football field. A large stage was set up in one of the end zones, just in front of the track that looped around the field. Monica and the other students receiving their doctorate degrees sat just to the left of the stage. The field itself was covered with hard black mats and had rows of folding chairs set up on top of them. An immense number of students receiving bachelors degrees sat facing the stage. The scoreboards displayed the message: University of Washington Class of 2011. The stands were about half full with spectators watching the ceremonies. Ben concentrated on the novel to the exclusion of all that was around him. He'd known she was writing it and she'd asked his permission before using details about their relationship. Still Ben was surprised just how much of her past, their past, she put into it. His concentration was interrupted only once, when the Valedictorian of the Doctorate class was announced.

"The Valedictorian for the doctorate level is a fine student and a better person. She's also a newly published, best selling author. And I'm proud to say she'll be remaining here at UW as a professor of English. Ladies and gentleman the Valedictorian for the doctorate class of 2011, Monica Kathryn Young." Ben got his head up just in time to see the university chancellor yield the podium to Miss Young as she ascended the stage."

Monica was almost literally the size of a small doll from Conner's vantage point as she adjusted the microphone to fit her short frame. "Two roads diverged in the yellow wood… I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. Robert Frost's poem tells us to look beyond that which is skin deep and obvious. It also teaches us that the journey is more important than whatever destination we might reach. We are gathered here today, the class of 2011, all having come here by differing roads. We are old and young, some of us have traveled miles to be here and others have barely stepped outside their door. Some of us have met many friends: had help along our road; others have wandered more alone. However we came, our task class of 2011 is to explore all of the roads, the roads less traveled by. The journey will seldom be easy; in fact it'll be outright unbearable at times. Yet in certain way we should embrace the hardship. For if there is no resistance along our path, than we cannot truly understand and learn from the journey. And we do learn from the journey, that's what make it so much more important than the places we reach." Monica tilted her head as her speech neared its end; her eyes searched the stands on her right for the Conner's. Even from great distance her and Ben's eyes managed to find one another. "The places we reach, the people we meet, only have meaning because of what it took to get to them. How we feel about the places and people we find along the road is woven in a tapestry of happiness and strife. My life, and all our lives, would not be, as rich, as joyous, or as fulfilling to have one without the other. That tapestry is the reward, class of 2011, for taking our own path, the road less traveled by."

Ben sat absolutely still in the stands listening to Monica. He had to admit that it was a turn on to hear her sweet voice projected throughout the stadium. However, he also found near poetry in her words. She might have been speaking to him, and at the end he knew she was. Ben watched in awe as the short beauty descended the steps and took her seat again. He couldn't believe how lucky his road was to let him know this special lady. Ben reached into his pocket and fingered the jewelry box again. His father saw him, and he and Ben exchanged a knowing glance across Amanda seated between them.

After the ceremony was over Monica followed the Conners back to Venchinzos. Since the night at the jailhouse Roland and Amanda had finally fully embraced Monica as a part of their son's life, and therefore part of the family. Ben could not believe how many memories the restaurant held for him from just that one night. Today he'd make sweeter memories.

Ben was nervous that Monica might object to Venchinzos, but she never gave it a thought. "I've never had to speak in front of that many people before, I was nervous," she said as she sat. She pushed the kinks out of her black skirt, and adjusted the collar of her pearly white blouse.

"I bet you were." Ben whispered in her ear as he pushed the chair in. She turned her head and gave him a smile; he looked devastating dressed up.

"Your speech was unbelievable." Amanda said as she seated the boys in high chairs.

"Yes it was, if you'll excuse me a moment." Ben gave Monica peck on the cheek and disappeared toward the front entrance.

Ben found the hostess and pulled the jewelry box out of his pocket. He opened it and inside was a ring with a silver band and diamonds studded to look like daisies. He handed the ring to the hostess and gave her a series of instructions. Then he returned to his seat.

"So I see the book business has been kind." Roland took a sip of water, but Monica noticed his eyes kept darting to Ben.

"Very kind." She replied somewhat puzzled by the odd behavior she was witnessing.

"Will there be anything besides water to drink?" the waiter asked.

"We'll have a bottle of Korbel." Ben's father said, again making eye contact with his son.

"We have a new doctor in our midst." Ben continued.

Monica noticed he was fidgeting, drumming his fingers and pulling at his collar. "Alright somebody tell me what's going on here?"

"I'd like to know myself." Amanda chimed in while tending the twins.

Ben took a deep breath and rose from his chair. In front of fairly large late lunch crowd, Ben circled the table and knelt down on one knee beside Monica. He pulled the jewelry box out of his pocket and handed it to her. Monica covered her mouth with both hands as she watched him kneel. There was audible inhale of breath from all the patrons at Venchinzos, the dull roar of conversation stopped. People twisted and turned their heads in all directions to watch what was happening at the Conner's table.

"Empty, it's empty." Monica stammered out after opening the box. Her unsteady hand displaying that there was nothing inside.

"Empty, it can't be empty." Ben pretended to sound panicked. There were several moments of awkward silence, nothing happened. "I said empty, it can't be empty." Ben shouted again while still kneeling.

This time the waiter heard the code and brought the champagne. Monica dropped the box and again covered her mouth as the waiter set a glass in front of her. Lying at the bottom of the glass, tinted gold by the liquid was the ring. "Is that a ring?" Amanda asked wide-eyed.

"Yes, and a rather expensive one, so please don't gulp your drink." Ben said nervously as he stared at Monica.

"Oh my gawd." Miss Young whined through her shaking hands. Her deep emerald eyes grew into saucers, locked by Ben's chocolate ones.

"Monica, some people go their whole lives and never have anyone fall in love with them. Some are lucky enough to find a person so special that it makes them more than they thought they could be. But very, very few ever find what we have. We are each that special person for the other. I love every part of you, mind, body, and spirit. And whatever road life takes us down from here; I want you with me. Will you be my wife Monica?

"Yes," she squeaked out, barely in control of herself. Tears welled in her eyes as she fished the ring from its bubbling bath. Ben was still kneeling as he placed it on her finger: it fit perfectly. Monica placed her hands on either side of his face and leaned in giving him a long gentle kiss. The entire restaurant clapped and cheered loudly as they watched the couple.


	20. All Good Things

**Ch 20: All Good Things**

Ben yawned as he sat in the living room of the Conner home. He sat on the brown leather couch across from the big screen in a grey tee shirt and shorts. The television made a mix of blue light and shadow dance across Ben's face. The Conner house was dark except for the television. Ben had never been a morning person. He squinted at the VCR to see what time it was: 7:17AM. He reclined on the couch; his eyes stared lazily at the screen, until his fiancée came on. He was watching the Today show. "And were back, this is Today on NBC, and I'm Matt Lauer. Now were going to welcome a special guest this morning. She is the author of the highly successful and controversial novel Dying for 16. She's also a recently received her Doctorate degree in English and is a professor at the University of Washington. She is the lovely, Monica Young."

Ben instantly perked up as he saw his Monica stride out to meet the handsome host. She wore pink blouse and black skirt, her hair was held in a bun by a white hairclip. A synthesized studio audience clapped politely, and Monica took a seat opposite Lauer. The host gave a quick handshake and Monica crossed her legs. Then she leaned forward in the brown leather chair, curling her hands on her knee. Matt Lauer tilted his head to the right and rested it on his knuckle. He smiled at widely at Monica, who was blinking furiously trying to get used to the bright stage lights. The interview began: "Well it's quite and impressive feat for a first novel to reach number seven on the New York Times best seller list." Matt said in a newsy voice.

"Thank you," Monica replied politely.

"I think the first thing that sticks out are the dedications." Lauer's tone grew slightly more serious.

"They are a little cryptic aren't they," Monica smiled as she replied.

"To say the least. The first thing I think the world wants to know is, who is Ben?" Lauer's eyes narrowed slightly. Ben watched the camera switch from the host's face to Monica's.

"Well I think that's a question for Ben." Miss Young replied evenly.

"Okay well then, where is Ben?" Lauer tried a new tactic.

"I believe that's also a question for Ben." Monica dodged again, leaning back in the chair and propping her own head on a fist.

"Well at least tell me this, is Ben a real person?" The camera panned back to Monica, who stayed silent but gave a mischievous grin. After several moments the host spoke again. "I assume from your cryptic smile that you're not answering."

Monica shook her head. "Not all of my life is for public consumption."

"Well I notice there's a very real ring on that left hand. Which you aren't wearing in the jacket picture." Lauer smiled slyly and pointed his pen at the engagement ring. Again Monica didn't bite and stayed silent."What about the other dedications?" Lauer moved on in a slightly defeated tone.

"Doctor Scott Clair is an attending physician at University Hospital in Denver. He answered many questions in regard to the medical details I put in the book. Most of that research was done over the phone. Jane is employed in the high school where the book is set. She was kind enough to give me a guided tour. The dedication was a surprise to her because I toured this school long before I ever began writing." Monica relaxed slightly, thinking the hard part was over.

"This book has been controversial. It describes a teacher engaging in sexual activity with a student, who is also a minor. This has had parental rights and family groups up in arms." Lauer's eyes narrowed again as the questioning toughened.

Ben continued to sit in the dark, eyes riveted to the television. On the screen: a dismissive wave of the hand and a smile from Monica. "Well tell that to my publisher. They're fine with it, whatever makes people read. Generally the book has been well received. At least one would think at the rate it's selling. I've said, many times since the book came out, that it wasn't my intention to make some sort of political or social statement. Dying for 16 is first and foremost a mystery. I think the great majority of people are enjoying it on that level, and I certainly hope that continues."

Ben spread himself out on the couch and watched the rest of the interview. Watching his fiancée on television was a turn on, but it was more than that. In his eyes, Monica had finally become comfortable in her own skin. Before coming back to Washington: the questions about him and the book would have made her nervous, maybe even angry. Now she simply smiled and took it in stride, her answers dodging and evading as masterfully as any politician. Ben considered a sign of how happy she was, and how happy they made each other. He got up off the couch and drew the curtains in the living room. He was greeted by bright sunshine on this June day; the wedding was now a mere thirty hours away.

Ben shook his head at the thought, still not quite believing it. He stared out the window at the back lawn as his brother Sam crept up behind him. Sam wasn't a morning person either and carried a coffee mug in his right hand. "Hey little brother," he surprised Ben.

"Hey Sam, rough night?" Ben noticed Sam pulling at his neck with his free hand.

"Yeah, not my own bed ya know. So you feeling lucky punk?" Sam punched Ben's shoulder.

"Very lucky." Ben grinned at his older brother. "I'm glad you're here Sam and I'm honored you'll be my best man."

Sam took a long sip at his coffee. "Best man eh, well listen, I'd trade places with you."

"I'll bet you would." Ben answered chuckling.

"Hey I've got to protect my little brother, even if it means taking the marriage bullet for him." Sam grinned as he raised his mug and took another long drink.

"A touching sacrifice to be sure." Roland said loudly as he approached his sons. He also carried a coffee mug in his right hand.

Ben rolled his eyes and Sam burst out laughing. "Hey dad," Both said in unison.

Roland took a relaxed sip from his mug but then promptly sprayed the contents of his mouth in the general direction of his sons. "God Sam, I said strong not lethal. I'm not supposed to be able to chew coffee."

"It hits the spot." Sam replied through rolling laughter.

"And rubs it out." Roland continued, still choking from the drink.

"You guys see Monica this morning?" Ben asked the other men, his voice rising with interest.

"Yes Ben," both replied together, rolling their eyes.

"Sorry, guess I've mentioned the interview a hundred times by now." Ben looked at the ground.

"At least," Sam scolded.

Roland stood next to his sons and smiled. "Alright boys, you can work out who's gonna be the groom and who's gonna be the best man later. Right now we have work to do. Most of the out of town relatives we invited are arriving this afternoon, and some are staying here. So our mission, should we choose to accept it, and we have to. Is to raid the hall closet and place bedding at various locations around camp Conner."

"Okay, okay we'll help you set up. In fact you can give my bed to somebody. I'm staying with Mon at her place tonight." Ben winked and gave a guilty smile to the other men. Roland and Sam each wordlessly raised an eyebrow at the youngest Conner.

Monica's flight back from New York arrived back in Seattle just after 7:00PM. She still wore her clothes from the interview as she scampered toward her fiancée waiting outside the terminal. She dropped her carry on and allowed herself to be scooped up in Ben's arms. He lifted Monica completely off the ground with the embrace and twirled her in a circle as if they were some kind of dance team. A kiss hello as Ben set her feet back on the ground. "God you look beautiful." Ben ran his fingers through her hair.

Monica giggled in response. "Oh Ben what am I gonna do with you?"

"Well I can think of a few things," Ben answered, winking. He grabbed Monica's carry on, the only bag she'd taken, and began rolling it behind him as they headed for the exit.

"I had dinner in New York, but I suppose I could be persuaded to have dessert." Monica whispered in Ben's ear as she walked beside him. Her fiancée was energized by the comment and began striding faster than she could keep up with. "Ben we're not even married yet are you trying to get away from me already?" Monica protested in a mock-exasperated tone.

Ben wasn't aware of how fast he was moving until he heard Monica's voice behind him. He turned to see he'd advanced several feet in front of her. "Monica I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I will never, ever, stop wanting you." Ben said as he strode back to her.

Monica's cheeks blushed at the comment. "That Ben is why I love you."

"Huh," Ben squinted indicating he didn't understand.

"The luckiest man on earth: Ben I fell in love with you because, whether you're aware of it or not, you've always understood the fundamental truth. The truth that all any woman really wants is someone to want her back." Monica stroked Ben's cheek as she spoke. He smiled and put his free arm around her as they resumed walking.

The ride to Monica's apartment was filled with quiet anticipation. The couple made small talk about the interview and Monica's book. Miss Young had found her future as a teacher and a writer; Ben was not far behind. Upon returning to Washington he'd changed his major from journalism to communications. He'd gotten his old job back, at the radio station. Ben had only one semester left until he'd receive his bachelor's degree. He'd decided he wanted to be a sportscaster.

Ben parked the SAAB in front of Monica's apartment building and took a moment to just admire her. She noticed and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. As they walked hand in hand to her apartment door, Ben encountered something he did not expect. A neighbor was standing outside Monica's apartment door, unbeknownst to the couple he'd just knocked, a copy of Miss Young's book was in his hand. "Oh I see you're busy right now, I'll come back tomorrow."

"No it's alright, here, give me the thing." Monica motioned with her hands and accepted the book and a pen from the neighbor. She quickly scrawled her name on the inside of the front cover and handed the items back. Ben gave a quick sigh of relief and laughed at himself when he realized what the man wanted. "Occupational hazard." Monica smiled

She unlocked the door and allowed Ben entrance. He'd been here many times but still the anticipation of tonight and tomorrow hung in the air like fog. Ben stepped inside and looked around as if he'd never seen the place. Eggshell walls were adorned with Monica's degrees, which she'd had framed. The carpet was a light grey and need to be replaced. The living room and kitchen comprised the bulk of the apartment. A small hall to the left led to the bedroom and bathroom. The apartment was only marginally bigger than the one Monica had in Denver. The lights in the living room were attached to a ceiling fan. There was black, wooden entertainment center in the far corner from the entrance. This contained a television, stereo, and Monica's extensive CD collection. Miss Young walked over to the stereo and inserted a CD; it was the one Ben had made for her. Electricity shot through Ben's stomach as Monica pushed the play button. "Remember this?" Monica walked back to Ben and folded his arms around her waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder and they started swaying with the music. American Boy played quietly out of the speakers.

As the song ended Ben stopped dancing. He stared down at Monica for a moment, pushing her hair back and running his fingers through it. This was a moment he'd gone through several times with Monica, but it still made nervous. As was so often the case, when Ben got nervous, he started to jabber. "Of course I remember this. Tomorrow is gonna be the happiest day of our lives. I can't wait." Monica took both his hands and led him to the bedroom. The only light in the room came from the moon shining through the thin curtains on the window opposite the bed. Ben continued jabbering in the darkness. "You'll see Monica, I'm gonna be just as big a success as you are. Your mother, my parents, they're all gonna be envious of the life we build together. From now on things will stay the way they are right now, I promise."

Monica stepped close to Ben; the moon showing through the curtains cast her face in dark blue. "Ben, how long do I have to wait for you to kiss me?"

Ben chuckled and nodded his head slightly, remembering the first time he'd heard those words from her. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against hers. "I never get used to this," Ben whispered as the kiss broke.

"Get used to what?" Monica asked slightly puzzled.

"Giving ourselves to each other. Every time it's been different and special, there's always something new to discover." Ben spoke softly while finding Monica's hands with his

"I feel the same way Ben, and we'll have the rest of our lives to explore. Now come here." Monica's ordered in her most seductive voice.

From there it began as it had before. The kissing began and quickly deepened, tongues and hands found one another as they collapsed back on the bed. Side by side they each started on other's clothes. Monica unzipped Ben's windbreaker and cast it aside. He un-tucked her blouse and started undoing buttons from the top down. He gave it a light shove when he was done and the blouse fell from her shoulders. Monica stood up again to get her arms out. Her whole upper body was silhouetted against the moonlight. Her skin appeared dark blue, and her white bra appeared grey. Ben rose again and flipped his tee shirt off over his head. Monica stepped toward and her fingers began doing a dance on his chest and abs. A brief pause as they admired each other, eyes burning with intense desire. Ben kissed her neck and began working his way down. He pulled one bra strap loose and let it fall around her elbow. Monica ground herself against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Ben uncovered her breast and began massaging it with his mouth. She satisfied his free left hand with her right leg, which he held just below the hip. Monica closed her eyes and moaned quietly, holding Ben's head in place with her arms and chin. He came back up and found her lips again. She reached down with her left hand and began pulling at the zipper of his jeans. He did the same with her skirt. They separated long enough to step out of the garments. Another pause, this time longer, as their eyes assured each other that this is what they wanted. Monica jumped back forward wrapping her legs around his waist. He held a leg in each hand and pinned her against the wall beneath the window. Lips and tongues found one another again. He ground himself against her; she could feel his readiness. Ben set her back on the floor: the undergarments were removed and added to the pile at the foot of the bed. Monica placed her left hand on Ben's chest and shoved him back onto the bed. She collapsed on top of him, the heat from their bodies caused both to gloss with perspiration. Breathing was heavy as they connected. Slowly Ben raised himself to a seated position, taking Monica with him. She grabbed the back of his neck and dictated an agonizingly slow pace. His lips found her breast again, and slowly the pace quickened. Moans and grunts filled the air as the pleasure built. Ben changed the rhythm only when she demanded it, his hands at her waist. Their glassy eyes found one another again and locked on. Another deep kiss as the pleasure reached a crescendo. Both held their breath as the moment passed, their eyes glazing over even more. Finally Ben collapsed backward and Monica fell on top of him. Both breathing heavy, satisfied breaths.

"Someday I'm gonna learn what I did to deserve a woman like you, Monica." Ben said through heavy breaths.

Monica rested her head on his chest and draped the covers of the bed around them. "Someday I'm gonna learn the what I did to make you stick around. You're the only man in my life who ever has." The couple shifted themselves until they were comfortable in the bed and clung to one another until the next morning. Both drifted in and out of a restless sleep.

Ben awoke early the next morning while Monica was still dozing. The sun had yet to rise on the wedding day. He climbed out of the bed and dressed himself before trying to wake her. "Mon, Mon," Ben touched her lightly on the shoulder. She lay on her side and turned herself at an awkward angle to face him. Her hair was a tangled mess, but she still looked stunning in the waning moonlight. "Mon I've got to get back over to my house. We've got all sorts of relatives staying with us and I better be there to greet them since I wasn't last night."

Monica gave him a reassuring smile; he'd known not to leave without waking her. "Okay hubby," She said playfully.

"See you later, Monica Kathryn Conner." Ben leaned down and kissed her forehead before turning to leave.

Among the things that Ben and Monica yet to discover about one another was their knack for doing the same thing at the same time, even when separated. Ben drove his SAAB back toward the Conner home in the pre-dawn hours and Monica rose and went for a walk around her apartment complex. Ben's comment about her name had set both their minds turning. Now as he drove and she walked, both were really contemplating married life.

Monica pulled her pink robe tight around her as she stepped on the damp morning grass. She paced laps around her apartment building. 'God I hope I can keep Ben happy. I've never managed to keep any other man in my life. I'm 29 for god sake and he's only 22. What about the future? Will he always want to be a couple, do couple things? I'm gonna get old before him, retire before him. Is he always going to be this interested in me? What if he decides he wants to do couple things with someone younger and prettier?'

Ben drove along a small section of Interstate five. He had one hand on the wheel and he rested his head on the knuckle of his other hand. There was no traffic around him. 'Do I really deserve a woman like Monica? I haven't even managed to finish college yet. How am I going to take care of her, support her? She's had a career and managed a good and independent life for herself ever since I've known her. She's older than I am; we've talked about children since our engagement, but am I ready to be a father? She's built a solid dream of a life, what makes me worthy of sharing it?'

Ben crept quietly into his house and closed the door behind him. Sam was asleep on the couch and stirred slightly at the noise before returning to sleep. Ben walked quietly to the back porch where he was surprised to see Roland was already awake. He slid the sliding glass door open and joined his father on the redwood deck. "You okay son? I'd have thought you'd look tired, but if didn't know better I say you're nervous or concerned." Roland adjusted his bathrobe and took a long sip of coffee as Ben approached.

His son walked past him and rested his elbows on deck rail, watching the sunrise. "Just pre-wedding jitters I guess." Roland nodded understanding as he joined his son at the rail. "I mean you said it yourself dad, Monica is a woman. What makes me worthy of her? I mean aren't I supposed to create my own path in life rather than just follow her down hers?"

"Son she didn't fall in love with you because you're some charity case. You've got a bright future yourself. To be honest you don't really need her, and she doesn't need you. Trust me son that's a good thing, because needing someone isn't love, its desperation." Roland turned his back to the sun and reclined on the rail. Ben turned his face toward his father and listened intently. "Monica has shared herself and her life with you because she wants to. Understand that marriage is a full commitment from both of you. You may not realize it, but you're sharing your life with her just as much. After today it won't be your dream or her dream, it'll be a shared dream, that both of you will contribute to. You make Monica happy, and she makes you happy. Both of you want to be together: nothing else is required son."

The tension slowly left Ben's body and face twisted into a smile. "Thanks dad."

Monica plopped herself on the leather couch opposite her TV and grabbed the cordless phone from the end table. She pulled her robe tight around her to fight off the chill of the walk before dialing. "Hello Jane, can we talk?"

"One normally doesn't have to ask their matron of honor if they can talk dear." Jane smiled sweetly at the phone in her hotel room. The experienced educator and psychologist had expected the phone call. She knew the sound of nervousness when she heard it.

"Jane, I, I, I was just wondering what in the world would make Ben and me last. I mean really last. He and I aren't the same age and we're gonna encounter milestones in our lives at different times. What if one day he decides I'm too old and he wants to be with someone younger and prettier?" Monica was so tense her voice cracked.

Jane rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. "Monica that young man loves you. You two belong together, and if either of you haven't proven that to yourselves after all you've been through together. Well then it ain't ever gonna happen. Ben doesn't care how old you are, in five minutes, in five years, in fifty years he'll still be happy because he's with you. Each of you makes the other so happy and marriage isn't going to do anything to change that. Being a couple and doing couple things, as you say, will come naturally. After all, it's just an expression of how much you two want to be together."

Monica closed her eyes and sighed relief. "Thanks Jane," Monica ended the call and tossed her head back against the arm of the couch, slowly she drifted to sleep.

Ben had figured Monica would be something of a bridezilla and she was. The fact that she was paying for the wedding only served to makes things worse. The wedding was scheduled for one in the afternoon, but by mid morning the Conner house was already a bustle of activity. Ben had a list of things to do and he and Roland set about tackling it after breakfast. Pick up the tuxedos, check on the wedding cake, check on the reception hall, and many others. Ben and his father drove around tending to the list while Amanda tended to the guests staying at the house. Ben spent the whole time with his cell phone pressed to his ear. He kept reminding Monica that he was on top of the chores and that the rehearsal a week ago had proceeded without incident. This seemed to do little however to calm her. Earlier it had been jitters, now it was the reality of everything that needed to be done. Monica was incredulous and yelling into the phone, Ben spent most of the ride in perpetual squint from the noise. Roland burst into rolling laughter every time he glanced toward his son.

Monica finally hung up the phone when there was a knock at her door. She opened it wearing nothing but a white slip cut below the knee. Jane stood outside the door with Monica's other two bridesmaids, Jackie and Deborah. It wasn't an idea Monica had liked at first, but Ben had convinced her that the wedding party would match perfectly because his groomsmen were Dino and Jonathan. The women had there own work to do. Jane stepped into the apartment, the wedding dress ,concealed by a large garment bag, hung over right arm. Deborah and Jackie took up station on Monica's couch and began going through the massive cosmetic case Jackie had brought with her. Monica's living room was soon littered with hair dryers, curlers, curling irons, cosmetics, and all manner of beauty aids. Monica stood in the center of all of it as the women worked feverishly to get her ready and make sure she had all the requisite elements. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

Eventually all the hustle and bustle reached a fever pitch and the moment actually approached. Monica had gone all out, and a white limousine showed up at the Conner's house at 12:30. Roland, Ben, Sam, Jonathan, and Dino all filed into the limo wearing their tuxedos. A small caravan of vehicles carrying the Conner family followed it to the church. When the limo pulled in front of the church it pulled behind another; Monica was already here Ben surmised.

Ben and his party stepped out into the bright June sunshine and surveyed Indian Hills Christian Church. An enormous and new brown brick building with shining white concrete arches over the entrance. A statue of Mary and Joseph each looked down from the top of one of the arches. The interior of the church was much darker, rows of ornate orange chandeliers hung above the walkways between the pews. The floor was brown stone tile and didn't reflect the dim lights very well. The windows were high arched stained glass, they didn't really allow light to penetrate, but the colors were brilliant in the midday sun. The pulpit was made of oak and stood on top of two white-carpeted steps. It had a cross carved out of the front, and stood on the right side of the room when viewed from the pews.

Ben spent a few minutes glad-handing and thanking his relatives for coming. Then he took his place on the left side of white-carpeted steps. Sam, Dino, and Jonathan waited at the back of large hall. Sam and Dino, who were not used to dress clothing, tugged relentlessly at their collars. Roland guided his wife to a seat in the front row and then disappeared out the back exit. He had special duty.

In a private anteroom near the rear exit, Monica was continuing her rampage. Monica's mother had joined the three bridesmaids. Kathleen Young was a very good likeness of her daughter. She was about the same height, and had the same green eyes. Her hair was also similar and had maintained its color except for streaks of grey at her bangs. Her face had not held up as well, it bore the many worry lines and wrinkles of a long time single parent. Monica's father had been and alcoholic and had died of liver failure when she was eight. Kathleen had come into the room complaining because, with no father, Monica had asked Roland to walk her down the isle. Kathleen felt the honor should have gone to Monica's older brother, who lived in California. However, he was his father's son and Monica hadn't seen him in years. She hadn't bothered to invite him. What she did do was grab her mother by the lapel of her suit. "Mother, see these heels?" Monica extended a foot showing off her pearly white shoe. "Picture them kicking you all the way back to that bungalow of yours. This day belongs to Ben and me. Now either you share our happiness or I ski ball you out of this church. So what's it gonna be?"

Roland cringed as listened to Monica's yelling. He opened the door to the anteroom and actually took a moment to admire, his son's bride looked stunning. "Showtime ladies." He said excitedly.

From the front Ben watched the procession begin. Sam escorted Jane down the isle. Followed by Dino arm in arm with Jackie, and Jonathan arm in arm with Debs. The men wore traditional black tuxedos with bow ties and royal blue cummerbunds. The women wore a cream colored silk one pieces that came down to their ankles. The couples parted only as they reached the carpet, men taking their place beside Ben, women lining up on the empty spot where Monica would be. The wedding party faced the fifty or so assembled guests in the church. Ninety percent of them were from the Conner family, still Monica had her mother and a few colleges from the university attend.

Ben took a deep breath as the pipe organ began Here Comes the Bride. The assembly stood and faced the back, camera flashes exploded. Monica appeared in the back entrance to the hall, holding on to Roland's arm. As was tradition Ben had not seen her in her dress until now. It was a pearly white Vera Wang gown. The skirt was silk and flowed in a train perhaps a foot behind her. The upper bodice was strapless and hugged her slender frame tightly, coming to rest just above her bust line. It was filled with lacy designs and pearls that reflected the light. Her arms were uncovered, and she carried a bouquet of daises in her hands. She wore a thin silver tiara with a white mesh material attached. The mesh flowed back and covered her hair from behind. Ben and the rest of the audience stood in awe as Monica passed. Light colored clothes suited her as they set off her dark hair and eyes. Ben smiled and repressed a small moan watching her.

Monica smiled widely at Ben as she approached. She noticed his attire was different from any of the others. Ben wore a light grey vest beneath the black suit coat and his bow tie was a sliver blue. The light grey set off his darker hair and eyes. Monica mouthed the word wow as Roland turned her over to Ben. Without being asked they joined hands and faced the preacher.

"Dearly beloved we are gather here to witness the joining of Ben and Monica in holy matrimony." The pastor began in a booming voice. The ceremony proceeded quickly. When the time came, Alex and Will bore the rings to the alter on satin pillows, which Sam and Jane accepted in turn. The entire wedding party grinned at the sight of the two boys in their tiny tuxedos. Monica's ring was silver, with a single diamond stud in the top. Ben's was gold and had star shapes carved on the outside of the band. The pastor gave a moment to let the party reorganize before continuing. "Ben repeat after me."

Ben's voice was surprisingly calm as he did as he was told. "I, Ben Conner, take this woman, to be my lawfully wedded wife. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live."

"Place the ring on her finger please," The pastor ordered. Monica extended an unsteady left hand, which Ben had to hold still as he placed the ring.

The preacher turned to face Miss Young. "Monica repeat after me."

"I, Monica Young, take this man, to be my lawfully wedded husband. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live."

"Place the ring on his finger," the preacher ordered again. Ben's hand was just as unsteady as Monica's. Although he quietly joked that he had an excuse since it was his off hand. Monica steadied his hand and mouthed the words I love you as she placed the gold band.

"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride." The preacher thumped his bible closed. There was an audible inhale of breath from the assembly as Ben and Monica leaned toward. Compared to some of their others, the kiss was tame, but still it was long and sweet. After it was over Ben and Monica turned to face their guests. "I present for the first time in public. Mr. And Mrs. Benjamin Conner." The pastor boomed as couple left the alter and went to their waiting limousine.

The wedding reception was held in a rented conference hall from a local hotel. The cavernous room had cream-colored walls and the carpet was dark blue. A series of tables were set up in a wide horseshoe shape with white tablecloths adoring them. A black and grey plastic tile mat had been laid inside the large horseshoe. This would be the dance floor. The wedding cake was already set up on the table in the center of the horseshoe. There were place settings by each seat, which included a small round plate, a fork, and a champagne glass. Ben and Monica got there before everyone else and looked the room over with satisfaction. The couple greeted their guests as they entered. The wedding party took seats at the center of the horseshoe. Ben and Monica posed for pictures as they cut the cake. The hotel wait staff came in and began filling the champagne glasses.

Finally after everyone was served, Roland clapped his glass with his fork to draw everyone's attention. He stood and looked at Ben who was seated just to his right. "My sons have always kind of beat to the tune of their own drum in life. Sam here moved to Portland and pursued a career in graphic design." Roland pointed a hand at Sam, seated just to his left. "To be honest I didn't even know what a graphic designer was, I had to look it up." Roland paused over rolling laughter. "Ben I'd always considered to be the more sensible of my children. That is until he enrolled in his tenth grade English class." Ben's father held his son by the shoulders but he looked at Monica as his speech continued. "There he happened to find this beautiful lady, unfortunately she happened to be his teacher." Monica put her hand across her face to hide the fact that even she was smiling. Roland paused again, halted by more rolling laughter. "What ensued from there was craziness I couldn't have imagined. But Ben and Monica have stayed by each other through all of it. They've helped Amanda and I to see that love is bound by age. We'd all be so lucky to find what they have in each other. Their life from here is one of pages waiting to be filled. With heads full of dreams and faith in each other that can obviously move anything, I have no doubt the pages will be filled. So on behalf of everyone here, we wish them joy and happiness to fill the pages of their life together, all good things, from now to forever." Roland raised his glass to indicate a toast. The entire assembly clanked glasses with their neighbors. Both the bride and groom, and even Kathleen seated on Monica's right were moved to tears. "Bride and grooms first dance." Roland announced after a long pause.

Ben and Monica got up and circled the horseshoe; there they began a slow dance. George Strait's I Cross My Heart began to play on the speaker system. The wedding party soon joined them on the floor. Sam dutifully danced with Jane, Dino with Jackie, and Jonathan with Deborah. Roland split his time, dancing first with Amanda and then asking Kathleen, giving her the opportunity to participate. The final act before Ben and Monica left the reception was to throw the bouquet. Monica stood at the center of the horseshoe with her back to the crowd on the dance floor. She cheated though, peering over her shoulder and tossing the daises in the direction of Debs and Jackie. Both scrambled to catch it, Jackie was taller but for once Debs carriage served her, as she was able to muscle Jacks out of the way. Debs made a surprisingly athletic play catching the flowers as the neared her feet. Afterward she held the arrangement up triumphantly and winked at a blushing Jonathan.

Ben and Monica once again climbed into one of the white limos parked outside the hotel. Thankfully Monica had not provided rice for the guests to throw. "Well that's it." Monica leaned over and accepted her husband's arm as it came around her.

"It most certainly is not. You heard my dad, we've got all the pages of our lives to fill." Ben smiled and gently kissed his wife.

Michael Tolcher's Sooner or Later came on the radio. "Sooner or later Sooner or later we'll be lookin' back on everything. And we'll laugh about it like we knew what all was happening." Monica and Ben smiled and held each other, realizing that someday had come.

As they arrived outside Monica's apartment door Ben scooped Monica up in his arms and carried her over the threshold. "So what page shall we write first?" Ben asked as he set her down.

"Well I don't think we've finished the wedding page yet." Monica smiled wickedly as she removed her tiara.

Ben's face became giddy with anticipation. "Oh okay, but do you have any condoms because I don't have any."

Monica giggled as she stared up at Ben. He scooped her up again and began carrying her toward the bedroom. "You won't need them, it's time to make a baby Ben Conner."


End file.
